Aspergers/Autism/Sensory Integration Chatter #3

[christy]

C don't tell her about it new DS game.... She saved up and got "My Little Pet Shop - City"

[Turkish Delight]

Sally. I can only imagine how tough it must be for you atm.

Honestly, i can understand how it must be tough on some people to be suggested a certain psychological illness about their child. Yesterday, when i was telling my psychiatrist and he said that DS may have a psychological illness, i burst into tears. I suffer from depression and anxiety, so i know how hard it is to have a MI. Again with me and my perfectionism, i want my kids to be perfect. Yes, he can academically gifted, which is perfect in my eyes but having a MI is an imperfection for me. The psychiatrist said that kids with Aspergers will have a normal life as adults, and be academically gifted, he should do just fine. I am struggling with diagnosing as to what is wrong with him and just want to give it a name, so i can help him more, through research.

DS - doesn't have a thing about routine or orderness.

But he won't understand that communication is also about listening. He wants to talk all the time but not listen to what others may be talking about to him or even between one another. he won't listen. He won't listen period. I ask him to do something, and he won't do it, because he won't listen. I help him with his homework and explain an easier way of doing something but he won't listen. he will keep on talking about how hard it is for him

Do you guys have listening problems?

Does your DH/DP help in dealing with your Asperger's/Autistic child or do they leave it up to you? I mean as in attending appts, therapy sessions ect..

[Turkish Delight]

C don't tell her about it new DS game.... She saved up and got "My Little Pet Shop - City"

I can send her DS's Club Penguin game to play for as long as she likes. DS is over it!

[christy]

ohhhh TD she would scream so loud you could hear her if I told her that!!!

88% of kids on the spectrum have sensory processing issues TD, auditory processing is real. When he gets assessed, they will probably suggest going to an OT for those issues.

My DH is eager to be a part of everything, but unfortunately can not. So he reads stuff, and looks into things, he talks with me about the progression, he talks to the speechie but takes my word on the others. He comes with me to paediatrician appointments, but will not go on his own, whereas I'm happy to go on my own if needed.

[Turkish Delight]

PM me you addy and i'll send it to her. Hey it is great to see kids happy. DS is now into Pokemon.

My DH, i guess given that his English is not the best, really doesn't get involved much and leaves it ALL up to me. I get tired. I need someone to share the journey with me. There was an article in the Herald Sun a few days ago about Aspergers and that is what gave me jolt. I tried showing it to him, but he wasn't interested. I don't know if its because he doesn't want to accept the possible outcome or if he isn't really interested. I, on the other hand, like all mothers would do anything for my kids.

I just thought him not listening to me, was just his behaviour. How do you guys approach the kidlets when they don't listen? I tell him nicely a few times, and then i get louder and louder until i find myself yelling at him. Thanks Christy for pointing that out to me.

[mrsmac]

Sometimes visuals help with not listening TD. Explain it in pictures in sequential order what you mean or what is happening. Sometimes DS is great with that and not verbal instructions. Eg if I say you need to put away xyz then you can watch TV he jacks up but if I draw it in 2 boxes which he crosses off when done he is OK. (obviously your child is older and more advanced but you get the idea?)
Lots of university lecturers and IT people have aspergers, they are often very successful in their chosen field.

My DH came to a couple of OT visits and is part of it all, he is more open to hearing negative things than me actually. I cry and get upset whereas DH says well he is still the same kid who we love so what does it matter?

[Early Kids]

Thanks for the replies. Brendan's OT and Speech told me he isn't Autistic because if he doesn't show the social issues (mainly the eye contact) then that's it, basically he isn't Autistic. BUT, they are only basing that on their sessions with Brendan, which I feel is extremely unfair on him. I think they need to come down town with me for an hour and see him interact with general people in the public. Brendan hides behind me or bows his head if anyone he doesn't know talks to him or looks at him. He will only talk to, look at and interact with people he has met regularly. He hadn't seen my parents for 6 weeks and it took him a few hours before he interacted with them. My parents have been great, Brendan is not a naughty child (well he has his moments lol) they can see the difference between naughty throwing tantrum and meltdown things haven't gone right tantrum.

I'm not worried about a diagnosis (we've always been warned he is at higher risk of lots of things because he was prem), it won't change Brendan, he will always be Brendan. What I want is better help for him. I have felt for a LONG time that these general therapies we attend are not helping him. Yes he is advancing with his speech/language/understanding and at least that is something. But in my eyes it's not enough. Not enough is being done to help him. I feel that with a diagnosis Brendan will be taken more seriously and I will be able to get some help in understanding him better.

I wanted to ask too... Brendan has started talking in the 3rd person. He hasn't been saying his name for very long. When he asks for something it's "Brendan ..." and making statements too "Brendan sit" "Brendan help" Is this normal? Just a phase?

I might make a list of everything he does, in the very least for the paed appt.

Thanks for listening xx

[mrsmac]

We have an early intervention unit at school and the teacher has been a great resource for me. She said that OTs cannot correctly diagnose autism or lack of it and that it needs to be done by a professional ie. psychologist or diagnostic centre.

[Early Kids]

We don't have EI here, I'd have to travel to Perth. Which isn't a problem at all. I was told that an OT, Developmental Paed and Child Psych all had to agree on the diagnosis.

[Turkish Delight]

Sometimes visuals help with not listening TD. Explain it in pictures in sequential order what you mean or what is happening. Sometimes DS is great with that and not verbal instructions. Eg if I say you need to put away xyz then you can watch TV he jacks up but if I draw it in 2 boxes which he crosses off when done he is OK. (obviously your child is older and more advanced but you get the idea?)
Lots of university lecturers and IT people have aspergers, they are often very successful in their chosen field.

fanfairytastic idea Mrs Mac. He loves doing things like. Excellent routine setting for him too. oooo i am so excited about it!
A routine for each day, where he ticks things off, and he could even get a gold star and some rewards.
I love it!

[christy]

We have used story boards, where in the morning we put up these pictures of what is happening on that day, and when we finish an activity (i.e. brushing teeth) she used to "post" the pictures back into the box. It helped so much when she was frantic about life.

[Turkish Delight]

I started a routine list for DS. Today is day 1. So far he is very excited about it. He will get a gold star for each day he does properly. 1 goldstar = $1 per day. It has homework, free time, chores, showers, brushing teeth etc..

I made an appt with Chitra, the dr which Lu recommended. Don't get to see her til 30th July

Do your littlies talk A LOT? Is that part of the Aspergers disorder/syndrome/illness too? I have a lot more patience for him too as i now realise that he may be struggling.

[mrsmac]

I have found that the aspergers kids at school talk all the time and don't listen to anyone. They will often "lecture" people on subjects they are interested in and can be very knowledgeable.

[Lulu]

Turk - I find if I speak really quietly to Mitch and put my hand on his shoulder etc, he finds it easier to tune in. I often ask if he might like to try to find a different way. NEVER take an aspy head on! You have to make it their idea

Mitch winds up fairly easily so the 'low talking' helps him.

I find it incredibly hard to keep finding the patience I need - it doesn't help that he still has SCREAMING meltdowns that buzz my ears. Fark.

[Turkish Delight]

I have found that the aspergers kids at school talk all the time and don't listen to anyone. They will often "lecture" people on subjects they are interested in and can be very knowledgeable.

I asked if he spoke a lot in class and he said he did. He also said that he participates in class too.

He sure does lecture me on certain topics which take his fancy. Atm, he is into pokemon again and he explains to me how he got to certain levels and what happened as he jumped levels. I get bored to death, but i just nod and look like i'm listening. Sometimes when he keeps on talking, i just have to tell him that i don't have the time atm to listen and he nicks off. I feel bad, but he just rambles on and on and on.

Lu - Mitch screaming is like my boy grunting. He grunts when he is angry, upset or when things don't go his way. Also, he has a very bad temper.

He also comes up with the most ridiculous questions The answers which i don't know, i ask him to google.

[christy]

AWwww TD maybe its time to go to a psychologist who specialises in Aspergers/Gifted children? Some of the characteristics are exactly the same and some of them overlap easily. I think it may help you to understand where he is coming from....

I know for me it helped me understand M so much better and I was able to parent her according to her needs much better.

[Turkish Delight]

oh Christy, where am i going to find one of them babes? It is so difficult as you all know, as you are all experiencing similar probs.

He asked me that when he gets older if he would be as smart as Einstein? And i said probably and he then asked, then which famous scientist will i be as smart as?
He then went on asking if a dog and a cat had a fight, who would win?
He then asked how a light globe worked

He said that i should know all the answers as i was scientist too.

[Lulu]

TD, Chitra will pass you onto a great psych as part of the assessment. She works at the Donvale office too. Maybe you could call and ask for an appt with her whilst you wait till July? Her name is Melinda Gladman.

Did you try to get an appt at Chitras city office? The wait isn't as long...but I think she is going away in June sso it might not be helped.