We tend to make really nice tasting food in this house so it is horrible when 3 (or more when we have guests) people are sitting there waxing lyrical about how delicious the food is and the 4th is there whinging and complaining about how disgusting it is
It often escalates into an argument or more, like the time she hit me a few weeks ago. That was over bread.
We really do need help with conflict resolution in this house. It is argument free bliss when DD#1 is away. Even DD#2 is starting to argue with DD#1 because she is so illogical. Arguing over simple things too, like we buy chocolate or something nice, give DD#2 some for her and some to give to DD#1 and DD#1 refuses it, which gets DD#2 very upset as she doesn't understand. DD#1 started arguing with me yesterday because I said I didn't know what we were having for dinner and she immediately started interrogating me as to what we were having and point blank refused to accept 'I don't know, we haven't gone shopping yet, stop it' MULTIPLE times (voice getting more raised and annoyed each time) as an answer. Thankfully that one got cut short as she had to go to school. I wish she had an off switch I could use instead of having to yell 'STOP IT' at her 10 times to get her to stop. And its not just arguments that I can't stop by saying stop, she does it on her bike too (and then rides smack into something), or in other dangerous situations you need her to stop Right Now. I've had to physically stop her quite a few times. I dread her being old enough to want to drive ... she'd ignore the instructor completely and drive into a truck.
Her latest school report for ONE subject actually agrees with me though! 'doesn't listen or follow instructions' and 'talks too much' - its not just me! The ONE subject at school that isn't academic but has rules the teachers are actually noticing she can be a pain and aren't falling over themselves fawning at how smart she is!
She's also not very good at maths but we've known that for a long, long time. Maths has right and wrong answers. You can't re-order things each time like you can in a language-based subject, or just make up your own creative answer and expect a high grade for being different. We stopped playing maths games with her at home or in the car some years ago as she didn't like to actually answer the puzzles and we'd get into arguments with her.
Oh and her school reports at the old school used to constantly bring up conflict resolution as something she isn't good at (clarification revealed the same issues as at home - she is right and needs other kids to agree with her Or Else), but it hasn't been picked up yet at the new school, probably because there's more students to supervise and she hasn't yet done something as dramatic as sock another kid in the face and give them a split lip like she did at the old school. She's the pretty, smart kid. She can do no wrong. Grrr. They'd come down harder on her if she wasn't the #1 kid in her class and I still can't forgive her last teacher for saying she was the #1 WITHIN EARSHOT. Kids don't need to know that kind of stuff. Parents don't really need to know either ... there's more to life than academia.
ok Ladies I have managed to fill out forms etc and lodge with centrelink. I have been accepted for Careers allowance but not payment, and am now protesting that they back payed me 2 days instead of 12 weeks. I had to wait for reports to come in so it took longer then there period, but this was not explained to me.
In the process now of registering for Disability SA and am still waiting on a report from an assessment we had , its been over a month now and I am growing impatient.
The reasons are:
In 2 weeks Hamish will get a new teacher, without the reports and the help of Autism SA there is no support in place for him at school.
His behavior this week last week has been really bad, he has received steps at school every day last week. At home he has been unable to concentrate and has started pooing his pants again.
So basically I am trying to jup through all the hoops i can but my hands are tied till we get this report. I am wanting to book Hamish in for OT and was hoping the back pay would help pay for a bulk lot of visits,,,,,,,,,,,grrrrrrrrrrr
I thought that getting the diagnosis was the end, but in reality its the start of another roller coaster ride.
Sorry for my rant, I am tired and feeling yuck today and a little helpless. Trying to look after my other children as well as Hamish. Its lik I have two toddlers at the moment...
on a side note has any one had any success in a change of diet etc...
Whilst Riley isn't ASd only sensory I noticed a big change when we removed 320 from his diet, it really effects him but most of the other failsafe stuff he didn't change much.
We have virtually no additives in food in this house so there isn't much to change. I'm allergic to a common additive so we make most of our food from scratch. Both the little monsters go monstrous when you give them lots of sugar, no surprises there. If we could work out our quirky little communication issues - something we the adults do need professional help with as it really doesn't come naturally, and I freely admit we have issues - we'd have the perfect child. She is otherwise quite well behaved.
The assessment process is slow, isn't it? We've gone from GP to a general counsellor (who was useless) to one paed to the second paed with some very cathartic venting to the child and youth mental health mob (who basically said 'you need to see someone and get her assessed properly'), and that process alone took well over a year. We sent back a bunch of forms and whatnot some time ago, both self-filled and from her teacher, and I have no idea what happens now. I assume they are going to get back to us next, this has all fallen by the wayside a little with the new baby arriving.
I used to be on another forum where I (mistakenly) vented before I really knew about aspergers and wanted ideas (some help, sympathy and support would have been nice too), I got seriously howled down and told how much I must hate her and to 'just go get her assessed' as if it would be an overnight thing where you just pop out to see a paediatrician like you'd see a hairdresser and get your kid pigeonholed and rubber stamped in a happy little hour long appointment. No, its a really slow process, and thanks for nothing ladies. It seems much more supportive here.
ETA: I think I need to hire Lulu as a translator. She seems to actually know where DD#1 is coming from. I've never really hit that in an adult before.
Last edited by deletedit; August 2nd, 2010 at 06:05 PM.
I am so frustrated at the moment at the education system, I have been trying to get extra help for the ASD boy in my class and have recently found out the missing link between me and the funding support occurred within my own school FFS! The woman from district office is great but because I have to follow a "chain of command" so to speak I get stuffed around.
Then I wanted to go to an all day inservice on ASD and the (insert swearword) boss said it was too much to replace me for the day and pay for the course. HOW THE F am I supposed to give this boy the best I can give if no-one will help me???????
Sorry for the vent but I think what happens next year when he has a teacher who has no idea about any of this. I am "lucky" in that heaps of the OT Riley does is relevant to school.
My book arrived from Borders today - Fun with the out of sync child, I am looking forward to starting it later when I get some peace!
Nah, Christy is the guru......but I am a good interpreter
RE - you can cut out about a year of head/wall/desk banging if you go straight to a Paed that specialises in Spectrum disorders. I't's been my experience (and well as a few others I've met) that anyone 'general' really doesn't have a clue. Tothe point we have been told our children are NOT on the spectrum when later (and proper) tests showed they bloody well ARE. Just like we thought.
Mrsmac - has Riley been fully assessed? I don't think you can write it off as just sensory until full testing has been done babe. I was nearly completely convinced Mitch was only sensory....until school started and then I KNEW those dorks were wrong.
Aspergers itself was only really recognised around 1994. It's not really a long time at all
Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
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