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The group we go to isn't like that at all (thankfully). It's not about the academics, it's being able to chat to other parents without worrying that you sound like you're bragging and people who understand what it's like to have your ear talked off all day, or a child who's super intense or cannot sit still or whatever.
If you try to discuss the same issues elsewhere people aren't very accepting, but it's a fact these kids learn differently and behave differently.
Where in QLD are you?
ugh .lost my post !
Butter - thanks for your input great post and has given me lots to think about .im alot like my dd where i can not relate to people my own age . i try but it doesnt come naturally all my friends are at least 5-10 years older and i feel like i fit in better . i was chastised for this when i was younger . mum couldnt understand why i had no friends in my grade and took me haning out with older kids as rebellion , and made me suffer for it . and like you i was told off about my social skills , and now as an adult im unsure how to act , so i just stay quiet and speak when im spoken to , sad really as inside im quite bubbly .
kiwi , no one i know really understands us . gabbi is a kid who is on the move all the time , people think shes so cute and funny and joke about keeping her and taking her home with them , me and DH joke back and say , take her please . we need a break lol ...
but they only she her for a little bit , when its 24/7 of go go go its a different story , and yes i find if i bring it up , people dont really accept it , either they think im lying or cant control my kids ... I just want someone with kids my age to relate to , alot of people i talk to are older and have gifted grandkids who are 16 or 17 lol not much help when my kid is only 2 .
we are in ipswich QLD .
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I was reading through this thread and very happy to see social skills come up. I was somewhat gifted - my IQ was not off the scale but well above average. However everyone at school knew I was "smarter" and I therefore dumbed myself down because I thought I would be more accepted socially at school. Didn't really work LOL! But I have a lot of regrets, I wish I had really applied myself to see what I could have done.
I actually think it would be important to concentrate on them being well rounded. If they are gifted intellectually, also encourage physical activities, something that doesn't come quite so easily to them. And to concentrate on their friendships. If they really are super-smart, they will need to know how to interact with "normal" children without getting impatient with them. It can be just as isolating being highly intellectual as being intellectually impaired.
And just because someone is gifted it doesn't mean they will actually be a high achiever or wildly successful. Because things come so easily to them it can be hard for them to learn to apply themselves consistently and persevere to achieve long term goals. That's possibly something they could learn by "other" activities, where they are "normal" and need to put in the same amount of practice as "normal" people.
Hope this makes sense, desperately typing while keeping DD2 away from the keyboard.
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I want to start this by saying I am not 'gifted' but DP is and he has been formally IQ tested. In terms of his life experiences, I want to agree with what previous posters have said about not learning to persevere with a task because so many things come easily he never had to learn to work at things, especially school related. Obviously he has done this to some extent to gain his quals etc but now, if something doesn't interest him, he finds it extraordinarily difficulty to stick at it or get motivated. He is not great at concentrating for long periods, especially if he is even slightly disinterested and so he does procrastinate a lot. I think this is due to him having twice as many trains of thought to keep track of than the average person but it's also about the interaction of ability and personality style too.
He is good at pretty much everything he tries and he does have good social skills so he is usually able to get along with most people and hide his frustration with people when they don't know how to do things, even after he explains it LOL! He has told me that he constantly has to remember that maybe other people don't know what he does and therefore they're coming at a task or situation with less knowledge (and so in his opinion choosing poorer solutions).
We get lots of comments about DS (who is 27 months old) in relation to being bright/verbal/smart/good memory etc from friends, strangers, GPs, neighbours, childcare workers and so on. I find it hard to know how to respond to these comments because I only have one child. To me, all 2 year olds look bright and inquisitive and eager to learn and I don't spend enough time with kids other than DS. I am kind of hoping that DS is 'bright-normal' because the gifted road can be a tough one and lots of gifted people do not reach their full potential and feel socially ostracised.
I guess though all of that stuff relates to 'adult' or even 'older child' issues and right now you just need to focus on coping with the (nearly) 3 year old you have. I think the association links earlier in the thread sound great and I was going to suggest you contact Mensa in your state to see if they have a parents group. They do accept child members with appropriate testing evidence etc so they may have a parents group you can tap into.
I am interested in what the paed is talking about when he/she says they can test your DD when she is 4? In terms of IQ testing, this can be done (at the absolute earliest) at 2.5 years and it would be a psychologist who conducts that assessment, not the paed. Paeds do other observational assessments across the developmental milestones which is also important information because (as I'm sure you know), intelligence is not just about accademic success and an IQ test will tell you a child's potential to achieve in accademic settings only. The older the child after 2.5years, the more reliable the score will be, especially if you are expecting a score at either end of the spectrum.
I don't know if this post is helpful or not because I feel like I've just been rambling lol. I guess you need to continue to focus on your DD as an individual. She still has weaknesses as well as strengths and there is still a lot of development ahead - both cognitively, behaviourally, personality wise and socially. I do hope you can find a supportive network of other parents who you can identify with and share experiences. I will be interested to hear how you go. In terms of your DD being on the go, there is a great facebook page I found recently called play at home mum (could be spelt mom) with awesome play and developmental ideas (plus notes and photos on how to do some of that stuff yourself) which might stretch your DD.
ETA - forgot to mention the psych can also do an adaptive behaviour assessment which will look at your DD across the various developmental milestones so you could get this information a bit quicker than 4 y.o. One of the more common ones is called the Vineland Adaptive Behaviour Scale.
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We homeschool for this very reason, because the public school system has failed us. I have studied early childhood and primary school teaching at university and knew the signs of giftedness and talent when they popped up.
Instead of being seen as gifted at school, my son (although on par with a gifted girl in his class) was seen as a trouble maker with behavioural problems. He is now 10 (year 5 level) with the ability to work at a year 7-8 level in a lot of areas (confirmed by the board of studies representative who assesses us). He was reading and writing before he started pre school. He is very mathematically and scientifically minded, and has shown a keen interest and understanding in computer programming.
My daughter is 7 and academically is also advanced in most areas, but falls behind in maths. She is much more creative than my son, writing lengthy stories, making elaborate artwork and has a keen interest in performing arts (she started ballet at 2, and tap dancing at 3.5)
My 2nd son has just turned 5 and has been computer literate since about 2.5 yo. He is mathematically bright and already has a solid understanding of basic fractions. He also understands different sums that have the same outcome. He is able to write all of our names without being told how they are spelled and has been able to count to 100 for about 2 years, by ones, twos and tens. He solves math problems in head, even ones his sister can't do.
My 3rd son is almost 3 and also started TTing at 16 months. He has amazing hand eye co-ordination, and can play many video games that I can't even complete!! He has a very extensive vocabulary and tells great stories. He has wonderful recollection skills and can tell you something that he told you 6 months ago, exactly the same way. He is an amazing swimmer - he was put up to a 4 year old level at just under 2 years old.
My 2nd daughter is not yet 9 moths old, but already shows signs of early swimming and is trying to stand and walk (but I attribute that to her wanting to keep up with her older siblings!) At this age, I'm not really looking for signs from her.
Socially, we meet with other home schooling families, where they kids don't feel the need to be anything other than themselves (nobody hassles anybody else for being smart etc) and we do extra curricular activities such as swimming and dance, and we are looking to start music classes too.
I think the most important thing is to encourage your child/ren in the areas that they show interest in, not just try to "make them" reach their full potential. As Kaz said, they can easily become distracted, or find things difficult, if the interest isn't there. I avoid specialists and experts and follow my instinct and my kid's lead, cause I don't want them to end up like me - at age 4, I was tested and deemed to have the IQ and capabilities commensurate with a 14 year old. I was pushed (not encouraged - there is a difference!) and had finished primary school (per se) by 5th grade, but skipping grades was relatively unheard of back then, so I spent alot of time doing teacher's assistant things (leading reading/math groups etc) until I was tested and accepted into a selective high school, by which time I'd simply given up and taken the attitude that it was easier to do nothing and come last than compete with 149 other kids to come first!
Let your kids be kids, with special interests!
thanks ladies !!
Kaz , some great info thanks so much , I discussed with the pead about DD having a sensory processsing disorder ( in sensory seeking ) as im aware that SPD and giftedness can go hand in hand , he talked about autisim and SPD in the one conversation saying its better to test at around age 4 , so im guessing he was talking about autisim as its in my family . As i know there is testing for youngsters who are gifted . i dont know what he was going on about really , hes a good pead to the point where he does alot of background work and comes up with the answer , but then refers us to the professional rather than treating her himself .
We are seeing a physc next month and im nervous and kind of curious to know what lies ahead . I have my a4 page of questions already , i just have so much to ask .
hopefully he can give us an answer on the SPD side of things to , as time goes on its getting worse .
argh i just wish all you ladies were face to face so i can explain this all better !!
Dh is very smart , and has always done well in school , and i can relate to your 7 year old DD , mountain mummy where i fell behind badly in math , and still do , yet im am very creative . DD is so advanced in her talking / motor skills but i find when she looks at a book or letters or numbers , she gets very confused and mostly points to the incorrect one . BUT ask her to say the ABCs , count , name shapes/objects and say her and her brothers birthdate , she can . so traits that have been mentioned about being good in one area and not so in the other are starting to show up.
sometimes i have to remind myself she is nearly 3 not 7 lol and that just because shes gifted she wont know everything ... I guess its more my emotions im trying to get a hold of ... everyone knows that DD is smart/above average . I just dont want the pressure of having her to perfom for others . at family parties etc , every one crowds around her and gets her to say or do things like she is some monkey , i dont want people isolating her from other kids just coz shes different, id prefer her to play and run around and hide under the table with a bowl of lollies like the other kids .... but then on the other hand if she is playing with the other kids she cant understand why they are not following her "rules" lol ..
does any of that make sense .... im just writing my thoughts here . the almost 3 years shes been on this earth has been a wild ride and its all just coming together ... its going to take me a while to get the hang of understanding her mind ...
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Lea hun, it is great news that you know about it already. Believe me, it makes a huge difference. Many people you come across will think of gifted as "smart", but actually there is a lot more to it than that. DS1 was tested at 4 and his IQ put him in the exceptionally gifted range, and DS2 hasn't been tested yet but now we know what we are looking for we are pretty sure he will be identified as gifted too even though he is very different to DS1. So I am speaking from experience and I can honestly say that if I come across one more teacher or guidance officer in a school that calls him a "smart kiddie" instead of getting to know him and all his traits I may well hit them - and I'm not a violent person!!
As DD's parents, you guys already know more about giftedness than many of the educators you will come across - and it will be your role to advocate. And as with most things as a parent of a gifted child, this won't be easy. Giftedness is a special need like many other special needs - but this is one of the least understood special needs. My first piece of advice is to make sure you have her IQ tested by a psych who specialises in gifted children (I can give you some names), early-middle of the year before she starts school. The "piece of paper" has helped us get further with the school than anything else - although luckily DS's teacher last year got to know him very well and advocated well for us also, allowing DS to be grade skipped which is the best thing that has ever happened for him. This year the paper is the only thing his teacher has taken any notice of
There are also some great things to read, and join, and I will PM you some references for this.
Lea, you are on a very challenging and rewarding journey with your DD. It is certainly going to have it's moments!! But knowing you as I do, I know you will take it all in your stride and do a fantastic job for your DD. Please let me know if you want to talk further. I haven't seen you in ages and it could be a good excuse to get together!
All the best hun.
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