so confused about Aspergers

[tan32]

Hi all,

I am writing this today in pure frustration and at the point of tears. My DS1 is 6 and we have thought for a while that he has had some funny quirks..

When he was at Kindy i spoke to the staff and they said perhaps we should look at getting him assessed for Aspergers. At first my world fell apart, i wondered why my little boy and then i thought about how he reacted around his peers and wondered how can I help him see the world isn't so scary..

Ok anyway to today.. I again brought up my concerns at his 5 yr old health check and was told he is very smart, he is talking to me etc nah i think he is fine... Then another nurse later that yr says to me hmm i think he may be on the lower end of the scale.
I then went to the Drs with my DD and took DS along, the DR actually asked me if he had autism etc due to the way he was playing but again it was left at that. I went back to DS dr who said he is too social, ask his teacher what she thinks so i did... She says to me no he is too social.. to vocal
So once again i leave it thinking well maybe he hasn't... Then this week it begins again, a trip to the dentist reveals he has ground the back of his teeth away, he received two detentions in two days, he refuses to make eye contact and actually cries when forced to.. and then he says a boy tricked him to climb into the urinal at school and kiss it..... He knows that kissing it will make him sick, he knows it is wrong but he cant understand why he did it.. I cant get through to him that this person who told him to do this is not a good friend.

I had a group of friends over on Friday who work with special needs children at kindergartens here... I was talking about Hamish at school and his behavior again and they turn to me and say you need to get him assessed.. One of these has known Hamish from a baby..

I am so confused and don't know where to go from here.. I feel like i have let my little man down

[~Raven~]

I don't know where to start! So much of what you have posted sounds familiar.

You haven't let him down at all. There is nothing wrong with waiting a bit to see if the traits he displays is something he grows out of. I did exactly that till I decided I had to know for sure and took M to be assessed. It is something you need to be ready for. It is a shock but then it can be a relief too. Remember that once it's over he is still the same gorgeous little soul.

I've been there with more than one Dr that knew he was Aspie as soon as we walked into the room.

Too social and vocal and familiar with people. To the point of being an awful pest to complete strangers.

One of my dear friends breathed a sigh of relief when I told her of M's diagnosis because she knew but didn't want to upset me so didn't say anything. She knew him from birth.

[Lulu]

You need to get him to someone that actually knows. Everyone appears to be an expert these days and it can be overwhelming with conflicting opinions from those that don't have a real understanding.

There are different ways of going about it I think - a referral to a Paed is next?

You haven't let your little boy down - it can be really hard to identify if quirks are a phase or just personality, just quirks, or more than that.

Don't kick yourself xoxoxo

[Jas]

I think go and have him tested. Their is a great book that explains aspergers...cvery basically to explain in to ppl....All cats have aspergers (its quite a funny book) there are some very very successful ppl with aspergers including bill gates.

Peopke with Aspergers can be very suceesfful and intelligent and very often are!! Just remember your son is your son he is who he is whether you have the diagnosis or not iykwim If he does have Aspergers and find out it will help you understnad some behaviours and help him also understand his thoughts and the way things make him feel!

Good luck!

[maz]

your not the one letting him down hon...all the 'experts' have let you down by seeing it and not helping you at all

Go back to your GP and demand a referal to Pead. The waiting list can be upto 6 months so the quicker you do it the better hon.

It is completely normal to grieve the child you thought you had hon and to feel lost, not in control and overwhelmed. There is so much outthere information wise that it can be so foggy.
Take a deep breath hon...yourve done so many wonderful things with him to try and get help..but when you have to fight for your child sometimes you need to scream to be heard. Get those lungs ready
again dear lady

[tan32]

Thank you all ladies for your replies....
It means so very much to me.