And then there was 4 - Mateauz journey with Cerabal palsey

[maz]

Well Ive taken inspiration from another mum on here....and I agree with her full heartedly...its helps not just the author of the post to debrief but also helps those who are treading down the same path or feeling like their hitting a brick wall.

Inspiration is a wonderful thing...

any who.
I'll start this little diddy with Before, the birth, during and after. There's alot to tell....so will be in dribs and drabs.
Here's goes nothing


Before

March 2007 - a BFP on the stick..WOOO HOOO...morning sickness like no other. OMG I felt like I was dying. Little did I know that these babies wouldnt make it earth side. I was in the emergency department when the doc said -

Im sorry Mrs Bourke but your having a comlpete m/c

I had an u/s which showed were 2 sacs had left their mark on my womb wall. I was fine until I saw it...I think my heart stopped beating for a few seconds as I held my breath waiting to see a heart beat. Nothing. I sat there in the emergency department, very alone, frightened, sad...empty. Id never really felt like this before a m/c...was it because I had lost 2 babies and not just one? Its a feeling I have never forgotten..something that is forever etched into your heart.
I asked the doctor how long Jed and I should wait for trying to concieve again and if my cycle would be haywire. I was told as my body had had a complete m/s that my cycle would be normal and I would more then likely O in 14 days.

Went home and Jed and I had a big discussing. We had decided to wait 4 months min to start trying again as we wanted to heal and mourn the loss of our twins. Our eldest was so upset about it all and asked if we could name them..so from now on our twins have been know as Sunni and Willoe.

We started charting. Steered clear of DTD at day 14 right through to day 20 and thought...ah its day 32 AF should come..lets give her a boost and DTD just the once. Day 45 came and went and I started to get that all to familiar feeling. I was throwing up at the smell of certains foods and **** my bb's...i could have thrown them against the wall....low and behold may 8th - BFP and Jed and I sitting there in shock. I instantly felt like it wasnt right. I had the same feeling when I was pg with Wilhelm that something was wrong...here goes that gut feeling again.

I had a very sickly pg. I was continuously sick...I couldnt eat certain things...and as with the boys I was eating fruit and vegies not meat like VY. At our 19 week u/s we were told it might be a boy..but more then likely a girl. Had another u/s at 22 weeks were we were told YEP its a girl!! Woo hoo...no need to be scared of the autisum statistics. Vy will have a little sister, we are complete!!!! Yet something...deep down was nagging at me again.....something was telling me something wasnt right....we even picked 2 boys names just to make sure.

8 months in to my pg...I began to swell like Violet Booregard on Charlie and the chocolate factory. I looked in the mirror and didnt recognise myself some days. Yet the doctors said I was fine just high BP and to go home, I was over reacting that something was wrong. Boxing day I went to the birth suit and said I had had enough. Something was wrong with my baby and they needed to get her out NOW. Monitors were put on me were it showed that my babies HB was that at the rate as if I was in labour. They said that my baby kepts squashing the blood supply tyhrough the umbilical cord to its self. It was low..99 at some stages and they wanted to admit me to monitor me again in the morning. I told them the only way they would admit me is if they would birth my baby...other wise I would go home, rest with my family and come in every monring at 7am to be monitiored. I had an u/s were I asked the technician how my little girl was...his comment

If thats a girl...Id hate to know why she has a penis

I sat there yet again numb. I was so shocked. But we were having a girl...I had the girls rooms all set. I had to replan my whole house in a matter of 3 days and all the prepping of telling Wilhelm that he's getting a sister was out the window.
I was from that moment know in the hospital as the lady who had the wrong sex u/s
The tech also muttered under his breath that the cord was wrapped around my babies neck 3 times. SOmething that would prove to be important later on.

On the 28th of December a female OB wanted to c/s me that afternoon...she wasnt happy but then her superior said no way and she was shatted. She kept apologising to me and I'll never forget the look of concern and sadness on her face. I know why she had that look now...I often have it but hey it was out of her hands. I was still coming in for daily monitoring and being sent home to be told it was alright. I went to the midwives clinc on the 2nd of January were the midwives were alarmed at how long I had been coming in and having this 'condition' for. The midwife said I looked so swollen and my legs and feet were so big that my haviana's were leaving marked in them. She had seen me in my other 3 pgs and said that I was extremely bad. Yet her words fell on a deaf OB's ears again.

Big head honcho OB saw me on the 3rd of Jan...said sorry we have no beds and we dont consider your case as an emergency. Your baby isnt in any trouble and your fine. Go home, if you feel bad come back in but other wise we'll see you on the 8th for your scheduled c/s.

hmmm When I felt bad in those 4 days...I went and sat in the kids cool pool...my husband held my hair and supported me when I was throwing up...he held me when I was crying in pain....I didnt go into that dame hospital just to be treated like an idiot again.

Tuesday 8th January. My MIL and SIL were both here....they both were shocked at the state of me and wished both Jed and I luck. I had had tightenings that night and once at the hospital to book in I noticed I was last on the list. c/s time 12pm. Got robed up and had the sexy hair net put on...oh server crampings...Midwife came a checked me out...starts of labour! Typical isnt it...couldnt have happened a week earlier lol. I was put first on the list now, my mouth was so dry and I was so scared. Midwife said that our baby would be in the special care nursary afterwards. That was not part of my birthplan...I wanted to hold my baby and BF straight away like I had with VY. she said she would see what she would do.

Last memories in the operating room...looking up at that dame big light and the smell. BLAH. Had a lovely Theatre nurse chat to me......he was so gentle and said he'd take heaps of picks for me. Not a bad looking bloke either... dont tell Jed..lol. Made me feel so relaxed..............

NEXT - the birth