Worried sick about DS - is there anything I can do?

[Willow]

I don't really know where to post this but figured this would be the best place.

DS is 4.5 months old and seems to be a healthy, happy baby.

There has been some concern though about the rate of growth of his head circ. We have seen a paed who did some u/sounds last month, all of which came back clear. The paed was happy with the results, told us to have our MCHN track his head circ for the time being and if we were concerned to contact him again. I was very relieved all was well and had completely relaxed about it.

Last night I was on the ABA website looking for a post about something entirely different when I came across a thread about rapid head growth and recent studies that indicate it is an early marker for autism.

I am now worried sick. From what I know of autism, I assume he is too young for any assessments to be done? I know that sometimes a diagnoses can't be done until they are 2 - am I going to have to worry about this for the next 2 years??

Bit of background - DS is an IVF bub and we lost our second baby to m/c at 3 months, so I'm probably a bit more paranoid than most mums, but I still feel this is a genuine concern. DH is angry at me for reading the article and getting upset He insists there's nothing wrong with him and I need to stop worrying.

I'm going to get in touch with his paed today and talk to him about it but not sure there's anything we can do.

[Lulu]

Ooh , please try to stop worrying. It's way too early, you have picked out one indicator out of a world of symptoms, you know if you googled it you would come up with 8 million other terrible things too.

The paed wants to keep an eye on things, so he is aware of it and not panicking. Kids are weird and hardly ever "normal" in the scheme of things. Well mine aren't either, they grow the way they will, the don't eat and sleep like they are supposed to and they are perfectly fantastic.

At the end of the day, you could spend 2 yrs stressing over something that probably won't come about, or you can just keep you MCHN appointments and talk to her about your fears and go on enjoying your baby.

Cheer up!

[~Trish~]

Oh Willow . It's horrible when you read things like that, it is natural to worry. I am sure only a small percentage of bubs with large head circs. actually have autism. You have said before that both you and your DH have good sized noggins, so I'm sure it is just genetic and nothing to worry about.

I know how you feel, autism runs in my family (my dad, brother and niece have Aspergers) and when my first DS was born I was PARANOID that he had it, I worried if he wouldn't look me in the eye etc (he also had a larger head, but I never new the link to autism thankfully!). Well he is now a lively, outgoing, hilarious 3yo who is so social he knows all our neighbours by name and has no sign of autism. Now I just have Kieran to worry about !

Anyway, I'm not much help, but I just wanted to give you a hug .

[Michelle71]

Willow - thank you for guiding me here

Firstly - L is doing everything as a normal little man should. Secondly - Thirdly - STOP GOOGLING I swear woman, you are giving yourself an ulcer, wrinkles and grey hair before you turn 30!!!!!!! If you read everything on google you would wrap everyone you love in cotton wool for protection - and then discover cotton wool can cause cancer There is so much more to the diagnosis of autism - and the reality is they don't know all of the reasons and why one child does and another doesn't and what triggers it and when it is triggered. You could live in terror forever. Take a deep breath, know that your little man is doing all the right things and give him a cuddle for me. DH has permission to remove your google rights too!!! Just not your computer access. I'd miss you too much.

[Willow]

Michelle - Firstly - thank god you found this so quickly! Secondly - I KNOW! I know! and thirdly - I didn't bl**dy google it - I was minding my own business looking for a thread on a b'feeding forum for crying out loud and it still got me! (which then starts the little paranoid creature in my head saying 'was I supposed to find it?' )

DH is so cranky with me, he told me last night he was going to burn the *&^%)#@ computer!

But I also know that you understand that feeling of waiting for the bubble to burst...

Trish - thanks hun. I had no idea that you had autism in your family. I can imagine why you'd worry about your boys too

Lulu - I understand what you're saying but I can't help but worry about the little guy.

[Muppity]

Oh Willow. Telling you not to worry really isn't going to help is it. But I agree with Lulu that if you googled any symptom you would come up with thousands of things that "could" be wrong with any child.

How about a happy story instead.

My little sis had a rapidly expanding head circumference. In her first few months of life she had x-rays, lumbar punctures (imagine doing that to a 3 week old bub), ultrasounds and any number of tests. Everything came back clear but it didn't stop my Mum having a complete breakdown thinking there was something terribly terribly wrong with her.

Turns out that she just had a rapidly expanding head circumference and it just took a while for her body to catch up. Now she is a wonderful intelligent articulate young woman (although please don't read my boo hoo thread from a few weeks ago about how irrisponsible she is - ) with no ill effects at all.

I say if the tests that have come back are all clear and if it weren't for this one measurement he would be a happy little boy then just take it as something you have to watch. And if it is an indicator of something at least you will be on the lookout for other signs and will be able to recognise them early.

If your paed was happy and you were happy until you read this article then I would just let it slide and not stress too much about it. But by all means if you are still worried then call your paed and ask them.

[Doing my best]

Willow,

I won't tell you not to stress, cause as mothers it what we seem to do so well, but if you have faith in your pead, trust his guidance. If he says again that he just wants to moniter it, put the bad thoughts somewhere deep into your mind (where you really have to dig for them), and think of how wonderful your little boy is instead..

I have a habit of thinking the worst and DH always pulls me into line, and I will not let it rest if I really believe it is worth worrying about. I also think that DP's are great at picking up on things as they don't see the little ones for as long as we do each day. We tend to notice the smallest change in them, and at times can think the worst..

Hoping that you cheer up soon.. Sending your way.

[Michelle71]

Michelle I didn't bl**dy google it - I was minding my own business looking for a thread on a b'feeding forum for crying out loud and it still got me! (which then starts the little paranoid creature in my head saying 'was I supposed to find it?' ).

Ahhhh - that paranoid creature is such fun isn't he It is amazing that you are *supposed* to find the bad things but it doesn't hit you when you find the good ones too. Think of all of the positive things you have read lately. Write them down. And remind yourself frequently. Not to mention calling me to remind you of all the good stuff.

You are doing so well and I know there is a fear of the bubble bursting. I worry about it every day. I watch my little man and feel my heart expanding with love for him as he grows and becomes so much more incredible every day. I can't imagine a life without him and yet I still fear something is going to happen to take him away. You aren't alone, but L is doing fabulously well due to his fabulous mumma

[happygran]

Hi Willow

I often wonder how any woman survives being a mum. I am now a nanna and I am still worrying not only for my DD, but their partners and now my two adorable grandchildren. But I do have another funny "head" story. Adorable grandson had the biggest head I had ever seen. He was a normal sized baby, but his head was enormous. The MCH nurse went on and on about his head and of course terrified my DD and her husband. Off the the doctor they went thinking the worse. He checked out the baby and then very seriously said that yes there was a problem and he thought it was unfortunately hereditary. It was the case of like father like son. We had never noticed before, but my son in law also has an enormous head. Anyway my grandson is now a wonderful normal 2yo and his new sister has a really "little" head so here we go again. Enjoy you wonderful family
Chris

[~Trish~]

Willow - I was thinking about your thread in the shower (where I do a lot of my thinking LOL). As you know, people generally only post in forums about things like large head circs. etc when they think there is a problem or they need help/support, so you really only tend to find negative things on the web, not positive if that makes sense. You never find threads started by people saying "My DS has a large head circ. and he is doing great, there is nothing wrong with him". Yet there are loads of babies that are JUST FINE!

Years ago I worked for a few months in the Aussie Post call centre and all you ever got were phone calls of complaints and missing mail. You begin to think that you can't trust Aussie Post because everything goes wrong or goes missing! The reality is that the majority of mail arrives with no problems, it's just that no one rings the call centre to say, "I got my mail today, thanks very much" LOL!

So I suppose in my rambling way, I am saying you really are only hearing the bad stuff in forums so try not to diagnose things from the web! (I am guilty too, don't feel bad )

[Lulu]

Lovely post Chris.

Good point Trish, hang in there Willow - trust the people who have replied, esp your mate Michelle. The bubble isn't going to burst - your little fella is in safe hands - YOURS!

[Visitor9]

Willow,
Our DD has a very large head circumference ( thank goodness I never googled it) 98% percentile she was IVF.
She is 3 and still has a large head (hats never fit) but is clever and thoughtful reaching all her milestones. It is so hard to grasp that something might be wrong with your precious one but enjoy all the beautiful achievements.
Eliza often showed autistic traits she still does but she has quirks that resemble alot of them, I had to learn to accept what may be will be and there was nothing but unconditional love and support was the only thing at this stage I could give.
Bec
I also think that the fact I had two 2nd tri miscarriages made me analyis everything now as she has turned 3 I think all those precious moments I cried with fear and anxiety I lost. BUT in saying that no-one could of told me that there was nothing wrong and I would of believed it. Big hugs hun

[Willow]

It was the case of like father like son.

Funny you should say that, our doctor and the sonographer who did his scans said the same thing! I have a big head too apparently, so his paed just put it down to genes, and it might be as simple as that, but it's still worrying all the same.

Thanks for all your posts girls, I'm feeling a bit better about it today.