Michelle I didn't bl**dy google it - I was minding my own business looking for a thread on a b'feeding forum for crying out loud and it still got me! (which then starts the little paranoid creature in my head saying 'was I supposed to find it?' ).
Ahhhh - that paranoid creature is such fun isn't he It is amazing that you are *supposed* to find the bad things but it doesn't hit you when you find the good ones too. Think of all of the positive things you have read lately. Write them down. And remind yourself frequently. Not to mention calling me to remind you of all the good stuff.

You are doing so well and I know there is a fear of the bubble bursting. I worry about it every day. I watch my little man and feel my heart expanding with love for him as he grows and becomes so much more incredible every day. I can't imagine a life without him and yet I still fear something is going to happen to take him away. You aren't alone, but L is doing fabulously well due to his fabulous mumma