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Thread: Namer's Remorse!

  1. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by sas85 View Post
    I think it's INSANE to legally change a childs name though, call them a nick name or their middle name but to legally change it does sound like such an American thing to do.
    I'd be inclined to agree... I mean, if you name a child something and then decide within a few weeks that it just doesn't fit, to the point that you *really* want it changed, then I suppose that's not too bad, but if you were to leave it go until your child was old enough to recognise their name and be confused over a change, then yes, that is something I wouldn't personally agree with. I couldn't imagine trying to change the name of a child who is, say, 3 or 4 years of age, kwim?? It would be very hard for them to comprehend - at that age, a name is just something you *have*, something you *are* and to go through such upheaval would be weird for them. I too would choose a nickname if I weren't happy with my child's name later on - yes, that would open the door for confusion/hardship later on when they start having to fill out things like driver's licence applications etc using their 'official' name, but I suppose that's something they can deal with when they're at an age to decide whether to put up with using their legal name on forms and going by their 'pet' name informally, or whether they change it of their own accord.
    I think I got really lucky with DD because we'd chosen the name just a few weeks after our 19-week scan (when we determined it was a girl), and I have never had an ounce of regret - right from birth, everybody said, 'Oh, she looks like an Emily' or 'It suits her perfectly' and the flow of her name sounds nice. It's a bit harder trying to choose a name this time around (I woke up this morning and decided I want to discuss choosing a different first name with DH), but I'm confident that whatever we come up with will stick and we won't wish we'd chosen differently.


  2. #20

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    I have often doubted the name we called our son. My H LOVED the name and I was a bit meh on it and he felt the same about my favourite girls name so we laughed and said depending on the baby's sex one of us would get our fave. So then he was born and my H was itching to call him the name he had picked. I ummed and ahhed for a couple of hours then agreed because his excitement was infectious

    I REALLY longed for my favourite boys names for some time after but now I'm over both of them because I think they're too common and I think our son really suits his name. I'm still not 100% on it to be perfectly honest, but I'm getting there. I get full naming rights for the next baby and almost every day I think of what names I'll choose so I guess that will be my 'closure'.

  3. #21

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    I always wanted to use my middle name. I think I was about 9 when I refused to answer anyone who didn't call me Nicole. I hated Skye! With a passion!
    But it was too hard & didn't last long. At a distance ed school camp at 14 I managed to get them calling me Nikki, but when I came home that one ended too
    Now I've accepted my name & the lovely add ons that go with it. (Sky Channel, Sky Ways, Sky high, Hi Skye, weather referrals....get my drift?) This is my name, I still don't feel comfortable saying it myself, but it doesn't bother me as much as it did when I was younger.

  4. #22

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    I don't regret any of my kids names - I think they suit them to a tee. But a mum at school recently told me that she wished she hadn't called her second DS Riley - seems she preferred the name Oliver when she was pg, but a relative or friend had a baby called that, so they went with Riley. And when I was in hospital after having Matilda, the mum across from me in the room, who was told after her ultrasound that she was having a girl, was surprised when she had a baby boy and had to think of a name. For the first day he was Seth, then she decided that it didn't suit him so she changed it to Boden. I had to agree with her - he did suit Boden more. But it shows that we are lucky to be given plenty of time to fill out the birth certificate form.

  5. #23

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    My best friend despised her first name from an early age - and told her Mum so as soon as she was able. It is her Aunties name- which I find rather odd that her Mum would be content to have a sister and a daughter with the same name. Anyways... so she started calling her by her middle name instead - which is much prettier and suits her to a tee.
    Her name has not been legally changed, but to everyone who knows her- her middle name is regarded as her first name. To this day she cringes at the idea of being called by her first name.

    Personally, we took 2 and half weeks to name our son after he was born- simply because we couldn't agree on names and neither of us were willing to compromise. Luckily we ended up with a name we both really like, although to this day when I look at DS I still think my first choice suits him so much more. But hey, its just as important that both parents are happy right? Thats the challenging part, IMO!! God help us if this baby is another boy...... we decided on a girls name so easily!!

    XX

  6. #24

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    I always despised my name as a child... but unfortunately, I wasn't given a middle name so I had no escape!! Often during my childhood I would just flat-out lie to strangers and introduce myself as whatever the heck name I liked at the time, and then it always caused confusion and embarrassment when they found out later on... I remember introducing myself on my first day of school to a girl as Jennifer, she called me that until we were like, 14!! Then she never spoke to me again because she was mad that I'd lied! Eventually I managed to get people to drop the '-Lee' (I have a hyphenated first name, my mother always says 'We didn't give you a middle name because we gave you two first names!') and have since been known as just Donna, which is acceptable... but it would have been so much easier if I'd just had a middle name!

    So I always was adamant that my kids would have middle names so they could 'escape' a first name they really hated, after all, they're the ones who have to live with their name, not me, so I wouldn't care if DD started going by 'Paige' instead of 'Emily'.

  7. #25

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    I know someone who really regrets calling her DD what they did, because it sounds so similar to her DH's name and the only reason why they didn't change it was because they had already started getting cards and gifts etc and didn't want that hassle kwim? I think it's unfair to do it later on once the children are old enough to be able to identify with their name - your name is such a huge part of 'who' you are and I think that you should either just learn to like it or leave it till the child is old enough to decide themselves and legally do it via deed poll, but I guess by then the damage is done after listen to your parents carry on about it for years LOL.

    But it is really surprising how many people go via their middle names - especially middle aged people. Years ago I worked as a dental nurse and it really opened my eyes as to exactly what some peoples names really were. I think it must have been a trend for a while to give them a name but only use the middle one - whether it be a family name etc. There is even a boy in the year above my DS who is only known by his middle name - the Birth announcement said "We welcome with love John Callum Taylor, to be formally known as Callum" and the John was a family name and all the men in that family had John as a first name and went by their second names.

    I have never had a problem with the moniker we gave our children, but I have namer's remorse about my own name LOL. I have a hyphenated first name and no one has ever used the second name - not at school not anywhere. The only place it appears is on all my bankcards, medicare, licence, birth/marriage cert etc and I actually have to think twice when someone calls me by my full name - which is usually only Dr's. I really think Mum and Dad should have thought a bit harder about that and decided not to use it at all. And even then I only got named what I did because the day Dad went to pick Mum and I up and take us home bloody Frankie Valley and the 4 Seasons came on the radio and changed history LOL (I'll let you have a bit of fun googling to work out what my name is LOL). In Hospital I was Samantha. Mum reckons she couldn't sway Dad to leave it be, so the compromise was the double-banger first name When I was about 9-10ish I went through a stage when I asked everyone to call me Jo, as that was now my new name - coinciding with me finding out I was named after a song (which was soooo daggy) and also that Jo was a character on A Country Practice and I thought she was uber cool ROFL.

    ETA - ROFL Goth Mum - you too hey? We should form a support group for that.

  8. #26

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    A friend of mine has just named her new daughter 'Malibu Roxy' - after reading this thread I'm not gonna get her name embroidered on anything in case it changes!!
    Last edited by Bumperstump Cummerbund; April 3rd, 2009 at 11:29 PM.

  9. #27

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    I don't have any regrets for my children's names but always had names that I loved but knew deep down I could never pull off, little flights of fancy! For DD it was Willow (te he he...) but everyone HATED it and then the more I said it with our last name the more I couldn't get past that (too many similar sounds and it just all ran together). For DS it was Levi. This one took me a while to get over though because there was no real reason for it other than he was born and it just 'wasn't him'. I don't know why, my gut reaction was just that it was wrong.

    During this prg I have thought if we only ever have one daughter/son (this will be our last bub so it's gonna be one of those scenarios) and one chance to name a boy/girl would I still have picked that name? I don't know. Their names are just so 'them' now that I can't imagine them being anything else. And tastes in names change with the times. I know some of the names I had picked for DD I now think 'what on earth was i thinking??" I actually do think to a degree babies pick their own names. We always had a few options but on seeing my babies for the first time, I just 'knew' which one was right.
    Last edited by Willow; March 29th, 2009 at 07:52 AM.

  10. #28

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    I have NO remorse. I picked DS's name KNOWING how a stupid name/spelling can affect your life. Yes, it's a little common but rather a name everyone can spell than what I went through as a teenager. People assumed I'd spelt my name wrong and were very rude about it. Less so as an adult: maybe they assumed I was a teenager and therefore being stupid about my name?

    But then my parents had no remorse either!

    I'd also be happy for DS to use his middle names if he'd rather. And I know my parents were upset when I'd rather use my middle name, although that was the name Mum had originally picked out for my first name. And we use a nickname for DS that no-one else does for that name. A few, actually. DS is Liebling, the Sweetness Swoozle and Wellie. Or Duke of Wellington, as one friend calls him. Duke does rather suit him too!

    I also love the girl's name we'd picked out more and more each day, to the point where I really want a daughter now so we can use that name! If I'd agreed to DH's suggestion of Sophie Tamzin then I'd be on a boys-only mission.

    I wouldn't change the name, but if DS really felt strongly about it then I'd let him change it. I really wanted my great-grandmother's middle name added to my name but my mum never let me. She's sorry now... but now I'm saving it for my daughter. Or DS's daughter... middle name only, I'm not going to have my DiL on here whinging that her MiL has picked their daughter's name already!

    Actually, I may wait a couple of years and see what happens and then look at adding it to my name. I really love Grandma N's middle name and I'm having it! It's a family name and would encourage Liebs to use it in the future too.

  11. #29

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    Interesting thread, I would'nt go as far as saying i would change any names but I wish I had thought harder or perhaps I thought tooo hard?? about them. My oldest DD was going to be Lucinda or Luci as an everyday name, but it seemed to out there and we went with Tegan, which is a " boring name" according to her and I suppose it does'nt have the ring to it she got it as a middle name but strangely we would'nt use it unless she desperatley wanted to. Our sons name jsut suited him and we are very happy with it, picked it before he was born and did'nt really have much of a back up, luckily we had no other sons (would have been in big trouble) it was hard enouhj to agree on one!!! Then Sophie came along she did'nt have a name for 3 weeks DS got sick the day she was born and spent 10 days in Royal Childrens a name was'nt that high on the priority list for us. Anyway, there was pressure from outside sources though??? Finally on a shopping trip DD came home and said there was a naughty/cute little girl down the street her name was Sophie, I think we should call our baby that!!!! I have a bit of (((((((("buyers remorse"))))))))) about that one, suits her but jsut so many and Soph looks wrong as a short/pet version???? Baby girl is Poppy we had other names picked as well, but..... it just fit.....little omens cam eour way like poppy's on a card from Canada, poppy's in the garden then the little ones called the baby in mums tum Poppy on video, sealed the deal. So 2 names we love and 2 that are okay, would'nt change it though!!! Poor kids when their parents do it, different if they feel the need to themselves I think.

  12. #30

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    Quote Originally Posted by sunflowa_girlie View Post
    A friend of mine has just named her new daughter 'Malibu Roxy' - after reading this thread I'm not gonna get her name embroidered on anything in case it changes!!

    Actually, the whole time my sister was pregnant they were calling bub Jack Ronin. Jack was born, and I announced it on Facebook (as she asked) - then 2 weeks later, before the paperwork went in, she asked me to reannounce him as Jack Daniel. Close call I guess!
    LMAO at malibu roxy sounds like a stripper? or a barbie doll...no offence
    jack daniel....as in the drink??
    im glad my parents liked me name cause i hated it (emma is soooo common) but i have a wierd surname so i spose they did that to even it out... as a kid i wanted to change it to some wierd names including our cats name (Loner)

    so i dont really think its right for parents to ask thier kids at 4, 5,6 yrs old whether theyd like it to now be such-and-such.... i woulda agreed to anything other than Emma...now im glad its normal...its been a pain trying to get ppl to spell my surname right let alone a first name aswell...

    i worry when bubs is born we wont like the name weve picked (jade) but it goes well with DPs surname and he loves the name too so we will see....think name remorse is similar to tattoo remorse...you go geez i wish i didnt pick that!!
    but u deal with it! LOL

  13. #31

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    I wish i had stuck with DS1's original name i had for him when i was pregnant. I was going to call him Roman but everytime i said it to someone they would screw their nose up at it and i was in a very fragile state then so i decided to chuck it. I didn't name him until after hewas born and all i could come up with that i would even consider was Charlie. But it is so popular and i don't like that. But i would never legally change it because he looks like a Charlie and that's who he knows himself as. I also wish DD's name was not so popular but i love her name. And i adore DS2's name. I have never heard another child nor adult named Orson (except for Orson Wells). And i hope it stays that way.

    I don't like my name either but i hate my middle name even more so have just put up with it. My godmother on the other hand changed her name to her middle.

  14. #32

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    Quote Originally Posted by Antheia View Post
    And i adore DS2's name. I have never heard another child nor adult named Orson (except for Orson Wells). And i hope it stays that way.
    On Desperate Housewives, Bree's DH is called Orson.

    For me, I've never had 'buyer's remorse'. I still think DS's name is the coolest and best boy's name I've ever heard. I was unsure of the girl's name we had picked out but since then, a few of our friends have picked names I consider even more unusual than what we have picked out so I feel more confident next time if we have a girl. Yes, I know I shouldn't care what others think!

  15. #33
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    I wish I had named DS Kiah instead. Aiden isnt really my kind of name. I wish he had my last name too.

  16. #34

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    My grandfather is known by a nickname that has nothing to do with his given names. His mum named him Herbert James while his father was away (at war I think) & when he came back said I'm not calling my son that, we'll call him Joe. He's been Joe ever since.

    I don't have remorse about DS's name or my own, although I like to be called a shortened version of my name, but find it difficult to introduce myself by the shortened version if I'm giving my surname.

  17. #35

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    I know lots of poeple who go by their middle names but not who've actually legally changed their name to something else.
    I love DS' name. I really did prefer the other name we'd chosen for him, Arlo, but similar to Nelle, I hate the way its pronounced in Australia i.e. -Ah-lo instead of Are-lowe.

    Im acutally more worried about this time around, cos the anme we've chosen is somthing of a compromise, there is nothing that we both really loved.

  18. #36

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    This is why I insisted to DH that DS has the name I have loved all my life. I did NOT want to regret the name we picked if it wasn't the one I wanted. I know very well DH wouldn't regret anything, he's a male and the child grows into a name and he'd be happy with anything, but for me, a name is soooo important (i've been obsessed with baby names for as long as I can remember). I adore all my three kids names and that's because I was lucky and chose them all and they were all names that were very special to me.
    However if I did want to change a name, I'd use middle name or just make one up, but wouldn't change it legally.
    I have an old friend who still doesn't like the name she gave her son, 6 years later. She never changed it but always goes on about it. dont' think that's very nice for the son..

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