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thread: Should I change this to suit my mother?

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Taking a ride on my grdonkey :D
    2,716

    Should I change this to suit my mother?

    Well, husband and I have picked name for daughter #2 (due in late May), and I knew I shouldn't have opened my mouth to my mother, but I did.
    (Long story short, with our first daughter she essentially forced us to pick a name as soon as we knew what we were having because she started patting my belly and calling it 'Erin' or 'Isabelle', names that she likes that we just didn't, so we sat down and chose a name just to shut her up.)

    Anyway, we came down to 'Hayley Nicole' or 'Hayley Blair' (I'm a Gossip Girl fan and B is my absolute favourite), but I like Hayley Nicole better because our last name starts with an 'R' and I hate names that kind of run together (ie I don't want the last letter of her middle name to be 'r'), and because Hayley Nicole has the same amount of syllables as our first daughter's name.
    However, when I told mum that we'd picked Hayley Nicole, she was quite miffed because she has a cousin named Nicole who is, basically, a complete deads*** (drug addict, a real bogan, has kids to as many different men, just basically ugh). Thing is, she hasn't seen or spoken to this Nicole in years and years and I don't see why she would be 'reminded' of her cousin every time she thinks of my daughter. I mean, we picked Emily for our first daughter even though I went to school with a girl named Emily who was a real cow and stole my boyfriend and was horrible to me, but I never, ever think of her when I think of my daughter's name - Emily is all hers now and the mean girl from school doesn't even enter my head.

    So, I'm just wondering if I should try and make my mum happy by changing back to Hayley Blair, despite the fact that I think it's really unfair of her to basically throw a little tantrum like this over something so stupid, when it's MY daughter, and MY choice.
    I just don't know whether to stick with a name I prefer, and perhaps forever have my mother wrinkling her nose in disgust every time she says the word 'Nicole' out loud, or give in and then give my daughter a name I'm just not that keen on.

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    Cloud nine :D
    6,309

    That is exactly right she is YOUR child and this is YOUR choice (and dps hehe), we have done the same mistake and told mum about names we're thinking of! and now we are keeping zip and not saying anything untill bub is born...

    I think Hayley Nicole is a beautiful name!

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Nov 2004
    Melbourne VIC
    1,733

    It's your baby and your decision. It irritates me so much that people make negative comments or try and suggest other names or change your mind about your own babies name. I understand not wanting names that run together as we are having the same problem ourselves at the moment. (One of the names on our list ends in M and the middle name starts with an M - it just doesn't sound right!)
    Do what makes you happy. Your mother will get over it eventually and her name will be Hayley not Nicole so there is no reason for her to think of her cousin really.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member. Love a friend xxx

    Jan 2008
    hoppers crossing
    2,380

    Stuffher i say, its ur baby girl call her whatevr u like. she iwll have to deal with it

  5. #5
    2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    May 2007
    Brisbane
    5,310

    Ignore your mum. LOL! As if she is going to say her middle name all the time anyway! It's your choice, your child, and you need to choose a name that you like. Just because they might share a name (a middle name at that, not even used often anyway!) doesn't make them connected at all. Geez, just tell her to think of Nicole Kidman instead!

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Feb 2007
    In the jungle.
    4,809

    What everyone else says, It has nothing to do with her what you call your child. She'll get over it. It's not her child, she has no say in its name.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    6,900

    Tell her to mind her own business. She's had her time and got to name her own kids. This is your child and it has nothing to do with her what you name her!
    I think it's a beautiful name btw.

  8. #8
    Registered User
    Follow Pandora On Twitter

    Jan 2005
    cowtown
    8,276

    no, I dont think you should.
    Your mum got her turn when she had you, its your baby not hers.

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Apr 2008
    Melbourne
    6,745

    Yep - your baby, your choice!

    That's the reason why we never tell people what names we have chosen and just keep saying that we can't agree on any yet.

  10. #10
    BellyBelly Member

    Mar 2005
    Limestone Coast, SA
    2,671

    I think you should just stick to the name you like best and ignore what any one says about it.

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    6,979

    Yep, stuff everyone else.... you do what YOU want it's YOUR child

    I'm so sick and tired of people saying to us "so what names have you decided?" and I'm like "umm well we don't talk about names".... I just don't get why people ask!!!
    besides, we know the gender but haven't told anyone so why would we tell them names we like!!!

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Nov 2004
    Melbourne VIC
    1,733

    I'm so sick and tired of people saying to us "so what names have you decided?" and I'm like "umm well we don't talk about names".... I just don't get why people ask!!!
    besides, we know the gender but haven't told anyone so why would we tell them names we like!!!
    I'm over it too. We don't discuss our choices with anyone. If someone asks, DH tells them (with a straight face) we will be calling him Buck or Keefe. No idea where he came up with these names, but it's funny to see the looks on people's faces because they have no idea if he's serious.

  13. #13
    Registered User

    Jul 2007
    melb
    8,498

    Your mum has had her turn for name picking its your turn now!!! Hayley Nicole is lovely

  14. #14
    Registered User
    Add krysalyss on Facebook

    Feb 2007
    on the move.....
    2,745

    I am sure you will already have read back your original post and realised how ridiculous it is to consider changing your babys name to suit a petty preference of your mum. She is being manipulative whether she realises it or not. Stick with the name that you want. If you really feel that you should compromise then change the spelling to something less traditional.

  15. #15
    Registered User

    Aug 2006
    55

    Yep...definitely your baby = your pick. Your Mum will get over it within a week and if you change for her you'll probably never forget it!

  16. #16
    Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

    Jan 2005
    Funky Town, Vic
    7,070

    Stick to your guns, but you should torture your mum for sure!!

    Tell her its going to be Nicole Hayley, find the name of everyone she hates and throw those around when she is over next time.

  17. #17
    Registered User
    Add krysalyss on Facebook

    Feb 2007
    on the move.....
    2,745

    Tell her its going to be Nicole Hayley, find the name of everyone she hates and throw those around when she is over next time
    Awesome!!!

  18. #18
    Registered User

    Apr 2008
    4,427

    ABSOLUTELY NOT!! Don't do anyhting to please anyone else but yourself and your parnter. It is not your mums decision. Tell her if she liked the other name so much then she should have thought of it when she was naming HER children.

    Your name choices are beautiful BTW.

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