I think it's fine. I had a similair situation where my DS' first name is the same as my nephew's middle name. My nephew is 10 years old & he was quite honoured that we used this name. This name also has family significance as it was my late father's name.
My sister didn't care - I don't think I would mind either if it was reversed.
I love being able to get other opinions like this. I had just discounted it without really thinking about it... you girls are encouraging me to question my own opinions and thoughts and preconceptions... maybe I need to think about it further...
i think seeings its a middle name and nor first name it would be ok for both boys to have James.
I used to have a bf who was Ben and his first cousin was Benjamin (but also Ben), i always wondered why his aunty would have named her son Ben after having already had a nephew Ben, but they lived in 2 diff states and guess she just loved the name!
But unless you actually like the name James for middle i wouldnt use it just cause someone else wants you to, both u and dh have the total say in names i think
I actually really love the idea! I love names that tie people together. We have a lot of repeat names both first and second in our family and I love the personal connections. My siblings and I all have ties in our names to uncles and aunties and it really has fostered lovely relationships.
On the cousin front, my cousin (related through her father) is Kate-Louise, she has an auntie (on her mother's side) Kate and a cousin Kate with her sister named Louise! It works for them I also know a girl who is one of 5 Olivias in her family So it can get crazier than simply having the same name as the middle name of a cousin.
WRT the similarity, people really do grow into their names and so similarities in the name become less as time goes on.
Another consideration - sometimes similar names are something you can't control. I have married a man with a name which pops up in my family a lot and my friend also has a husband by the same name... can't predict that!
Good luck with the decision, keep your options open and go with what feels right on lots of levels!
Start asking around you male friends what their middle names are. Lots (LOTS) of them will have James as a middle name. In the 1980s it was the most popular middle name, along with John, and both were used twice as much as the next name. It is SOOOO common as a mn that I don't think anyone would really notice.
If the two little boys are seeing a lot of each other, it might be like a special bond between them, KWIM?
My cousin is Erin and so is my DD, neither of them mind in fact I think my cousin was flattered that I liked the name so much!!
DDs middle name is Kate and she was over the moon when SIL and brother called their 1st DD Natalie Kate, she adores that she has the same middle name as her cousin cause her older sister has mine and mum's middle name so now she feels connected to someone.
I have seven sisters and one brother, Matthew James (aged 7). My second eldest sister named her son James and my younger sister used James as the middle name for her son too. No probs at all..
I think its fine to use it. Its like a family name. My grandfather is James, my Dad is Christopher James and his brother is James - so thats using James in the same family. Plus it is a really nice name
One of my brother's middle names is the same as........ one of my other brothers' middle names (we all have 2 middle names), my brother's first name is the same as my grandfather's first name and my uncle's middle name but my Grandad went by his middle name which is the same as the middle name my brothers have. My Dad has the same middle name as his cousin which is also my great-grandfather's name and my nephew's name. My younger brother's middle name is the same as my father's first name which is a different nephew's middle name.
Confused yet?
Anyways if you like the name I think you may as well use it.
I don't think it's a problem for your son to have the same middle name, or even first name, as your nephew. But then I'm Greek, and it's Greek tradition to name the children after their grandparents, so I have a lot of cousins with the same/similar name - Alexander/Alexandra (Lexie), Evelyn/Evgenia, Christopher/Christopher... my dad even has the exact same name as his cousin as they were both named after the same paternal grandfather and unfortunately descended through his male children
Overall I think it's a mark of respect for your mother that both you and your sister are heeding. It could be worse; she could've loved a name you really disliked, and then you'd really be in trouble!
Have you thought about using it as a middle name as well? My DS and my nephew are only 2 weeks apart in age and they both have James as a middle name as it is my Dad's middle name and it my brothers middle name and it was my Grandad's middle name also.
Also DD and DH's cousin are about 4 months in age and both have Rose as a middle name as it was DH's Grannys name so had real significant meaning for both him and his uncle. I really dont mind, I think there are going to be many thousands of people out there with the same names, but if you love it then go with it.
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So it can get crazier than simply having the same name as the middle name of a cousin.
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