It took us a while to get the right position too. I always find that higher is better, more secure and more comfortable, so I aim to have her head up at my collar bone, almost shoulder height. I watched the DVD a lot too, and that's how high she has the baby in the heart-to-heart carry.

Remember the fabric will relax a bit too as you are wearing it, so if you start off as high and tight as you can, it will loosen up a bit anyway.