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Thread: 18mo hitting and 'pretending' to bite

  1. #1

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    Exclamation 18mo hitting and 'pretending' to bite

    I'm not sure if I'm in the right place or not, so if this needs to be moved feel free

    DD has just recently (and by that I mean in the past 8 days) been prone to hitting people and pretending to bite people. And when I say pretending, I mean she will grab your arm or whatever and open her mouth and put her mouth over your skin but not bite down. There's no teeth sinking involved (thankfully!)

    The hitting seems to be in response to either someone doing something she doesn't like or if another child has a toy that she would like to play with too.

    I'm concerned that I'm doing something wrong - that I haven't been a good Mum and taught her how to manage things like this without hitting or biting!

    DD is is day care 3 days a week and has 2 days between myself and my Mum per week. When she tried to bite for the very first time I stopped and dropped down to her level so I was eye to eye with her and told her no and that biting was not okay. After I said that DD said 'Noah bite'. I asked her to say sorry (which she did) and said to her that even though Noah bites it's still not the right thing to do.

    Noah is a little boy at her day care (slightly younger) - I haven't seen any of the other children do anything like that but the 10mins I'm there in the morning and afternoon certainly don't give me a clear picture of what all the other children do through the day! But I don't believe DD would have said that as a lie. I mean, she doesn't know what it is to tell a lie, so i don't think it's not true. She may have seen Noah (and others, I'm not putting it all on one little boy!) bite someone...but it worries me that she's taken it on!

    People might think I'm slightly demented, but I don't like smacking and DH and I agreed from day 1 that we wouldn't smack. But that's only because my own experience was not the best and I certainly don't judge others for their parenting styles.



    We are currently moving house and that's all been a dogs breakfast due to banks getting things wrong and so we've been living amongst boxes and life in general has been complete chaos for about a month now. Thankfully the movers came today to put our stuff in storage for a few days and we should be moving in to our new home next week ()

    But I guess what I'm asking is...

    a) is this normal behaviour?
    b) would it just be in response to seeing other children doing the same thing, or have I done something wrong or missed something?
    c) could this 'being naughty' behaviour be in response to that chaos reigning in our home at the moment??
    d) is she too young for the 'naughty spot' to be used? I just think time out is more my style and less traumatic, but still get's the point across. Yes, I have friends who think I am too soft and DD will grow up thinking that she can do what she wants when she wants, but taking her away from fun activities I think is a good way to indicate that she's done the wrong thing.
    e) at the moment she is an only child. I am an only child too and I'm concerned that this might be an issue with sharing?? Am I bringing up a spoiled brat??

    Anyway - thanks for your thoughts...I'd just like to know how we can best help DD throught this

  2. #2

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    This is nothing you have done. Most toddlers go through a stage like this and if it has happened to them at daycare then they can repeat it. I think you dropping to her level and immediately telling her it is not right to bite was the right thing. I would be having a word to the day care centre about the alleged biting from the little boy and see if they know anything about it. Your choice to smack or not to smack is entirely your own. It doesn't mean that you are bringing up a spoilt child if she is under control. You can try the time out corner but they recommend that you only give them a time out for how old they are so 1 y/o = 1 minute. Good luck

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by KimB View Post
    This is nothing you have done. Most toddlers go through a stage like this and if it has happened to them at daycare then they can repeat it. I think you dropping to her level and immediately telling her it is not right to bite was the right thing. I would be having a word to the day care centre about the alleged biting from the little boy and see if they know anything about it. Your choice to smack or not to smack is entirely your own. It doesn't mean that you are bringing up a spoilt child if she is under control. You can try the time out corner but they recommend that you only give them a time out for how old they are so 1 y/o = 1 minute. Good luck
    What Kim said. And many hugs hun.

    I've found the naughty corner to be hundreds times more effective than any gentle smack we've painstakingly given. And thankfully the older she seems to get, the more of the eye to eye staring conversations seem to sink in.
    Many

  4. #4

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    Thanks Kim - I guess I'll just keep doing what I'm doing and speak to the day care centre. I was a bit unsure about that because I felt like I'd be this meddling mother coming in and accusing a little boy of starting something - but I know if I just explain to them what DD said it should come across okay. Even if they just keep an eye out to see what's happening And if it means he does get noticed biting and it stops then I'll be happy!

    Tam - thanks for the hugs hun. I really appreciate it Good to know the naughty corner is as effective as I've been hoping (although I know every kid is different, there isn't a kid in the world who would be happy about being removed from the fun for a few minutes!). I feel so out of my depth here, I'm paranoid about doing the wrong thing or being too hard or too soft...I just want to find the middle ground and have her be happy and a nice person at the end of the day. But no one ever said raising a family was easy! lol

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