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Thread: 2 Kids, or maybe 3???

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Oct 2004
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    Default 2 Kids, or maybe 3???

    Don't know if this is the right section? But i'll stick it here anyway! lol
    Who has 2 kids and isn't planning on more? And what are your reasons for stopping at 2?
    My DH and i have been talking about this since pregnant with no2 and are at a complete loss at what to do.
    Having just the 2 would mean we can afford to give them more, spend more one on one time with them etc. Holidays and outings etc are always 2 adults and 2 kids.
    Then theres the fact that i would love to be pregnant again, and try for that natural birth i've always wanted to experience. Hold a little newborn again.
    But, i think no matter how many kids i have, i would always feel clucky and want another baby.
    Another thing is DH and i really enjoy going out on "date" nights. We do this about once a fortnight, or every 3 weeks. My parents look after the girls for us. If we have another bub though, it is a big ask asking them to look after 3 kids.
    It's just such a big decision!
    I want us to be able to make our minds up soon because my 2 are so close in age i would want the 3rd to be close too, otherwise the first 2 will always be close and the 3rd would get left out IYKWIM.
    Man, if we were rich i would just go for it, we could still afford to give them plenty, and be able to pay for a sitter! lol
    I am really happy with my girls, but whenever i see a baby, or a preg belly, or hear a birth story, i wish i could do it all again.
    How did you decide when to stop?
    Sorry this is soo long, but it helps seeing my thoughts written down instead of floating in that big empty space! lol
    Cheers!
    Melissa


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
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    Mid North Coast NSW
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    It is a hard call Melissa. After having 1, I feel that I want 3 - but I may not feel that way once I have 2. How do you feel about it as a whole family unit? Would a bigger family suit your family better?

    As for having the 3rd one close in age because the first 2 are, I don't really think that is necessary. My 2 older brothers are 15 months apart, then there was over 3 years before I came along. We are really close now & I never felt left out (maybe because they were boys though & I wasn't really into their things?)

    Anyway, don't feel too rushed to make the decision.

    HTH!

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    South Australia
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    Hi Melissa, I'm going through the exact same thing atm. I posted a thread asking the same question a few days ago (not sure in what section though, I can't find it now LOL). Anyway, we have two, and in my whole live I've never even considered that I might have more than two. During my second pregnacy and birth, and the first months that followed I kept saying "I'm never going to do this again". Then the other day, DH suggested we have another baby. I thought he was joking, but it turned out he wasn't. Now I just can't stop thinking about it. I posted on a another forum website that I go to, asking about it. I have had a huge response from mums with 3. Overwhelmingly they have said that now they have their third one, they wouldn't have it any other way. Many have said that the third baby has been a much easier transition than the first or second one, the third baby has just fitted in. I think it's great that the two younger kids will have each other to play with, while mum's feeding the baby. Apparently the hardest thing is getting all of the car trips done when taking the older ones to school and kindy. Money wise, I think that you just cope with what you have. When I quit work while preg with my first, I never thought we would manage. Now we have two, and I'm still not working. I'd be happy to go without some things for the sake of another baby. I know if I decide to have number three, once I see that precious face, I'll never regret it.

  4. #4

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    I would think that if it is making you think this much about it then maybe you should have 3. For me, as much as I LOVE my girls more than anything in the world, I just dont' want more (ok if I had alot of money and could get full time live in nanny, maybe I'd reconsider down the track), but it's not something that I think about. whereas with you, it sounds like you will regret maybe the decision not to have a third.
    It was so common for our parents to have 3 or more, and my parents were out about once a fortnight and the baby sitting sitch was fine with three! We also travelled as a family quite alot (I now realise how full on this must've been for my mum and dad)!!! But it's all possible. Financially, Idon't think they'd miss out.
    good luck with your decision xo

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Oct 2004
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    Brisbane
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    Thanks everyone!
    It really is a tough one. I wouldn't mind having 1 more when the girls start school, but i just worry about the age gap. It would be fine if it was a boy, but if it was a girl i worry she might feel left out not having a playmate the same age.
    I told DH the best way to solve that is he needs to be on a wonderful wage by then and then we'll just have 2 more close together! lol I can dream! lol
    SO who has a big age gap, and how do they get on? I'm talking 5+ yrs?
    Cheers!
    Melissa

  6. #6

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    Hi Mel

    I have 3 kids ... and there is an 8 and 6 yr gap between my older two and Asha. We have had no problems, the kids love her to pieces most of the time, the only thingk they don't like is when she gets in their rooms but they have learnt to shut their doors and put away things they don't want Asha to touch.

    They get her breakfast in the mornings and Emma (who is 10 1/2) will change her nappy, as long as it is only wet. They take it turns to have a bath with her and they love to play with her and make her laugh. She loves them too and misses them terribly when they go to their Dad's house.

    Good luck on the decision making ... still making our minds up about another one here!

    Cheers

  7. #7
    Stormi Guest

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    It's a hard decision for some. You hear people say you just "know" when you are finished with your family. We had our two boys (now aged 7 and 4) and we had decided that was it. Sure, I would have loved a girl, but I felt like two was all I could handle, as they are very demanding boys. THEN I fell pregnant again unexpectedly. I had just gone back to work after a 6 year break raising the boys, and 3 weeks into my new job, found out I was pg. I was in shock for 3 months, seriously. I couldn't believe this had happened, how would I cope with 3? Anyway, our beautiful daughter was born a year ago (almost, she is one on Friday), and I wouldn't change it for the world. I know my family is complete now, because in hindsight, I realise now that after the two boys, it sort of felt incomplete, even though we'd decided on no more. I don't think we would have actively tried to have a third, but I guess fate intervened.

  8. #8

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    Nov 2004
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    I am like you Jillian...
    I love my 2 girls to pieces!!! But dont feel my family is totally complete!! I am gonn ahve 1 more, then i am pretty sure i'll be done!!!!???

  9. #9

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    Like Linda, after having #1 I'm talking DP into 3 after always only talking about 2. We say now if we won Lotto we'd have half a dozen! LOL Probably not quite that many, but you get the idea.

    I'm planning on spacing ours out a bit so it'll be unlikely that there'll be more than 3. I think we'll take it one child at a time! This time is good so far and if we enjoy #2 just as much there's no way DP will talk me out of another one. He's more concerned about the $$ issue than I am, but I think we'll find a way to make it work if we want to.

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