All I can say is THANK GOD someone else is going through this!
I second that! Thank you all so much! Getting on here and realising Im not alone has made a huge dfference. I was starting to think it was something I was doing wrong, something that I had encouraged.
There are shocker days when I totally forget to reward the good behaviour, but I am going to try and remember to do so.

But I think I must be doing something wrong, as she just doesnt seem to be responding to anything I do. Is that her job, to ignore everything I say and do, and just push boundaries?