Further to the "coke in sippy cup" thread, I am amazed at how often Jack is offered lollies by other people. Everyone from the GP to the hairdresser have offered Jack a lollypop or jelly bean or similar when he has been well behaved or needed some encouragement to sit still etc. As I don't want Jack to eat these things routinely (and luckily he shows no interest in them anyway), I politely decline. But it annoys me that people think this is appropriate. Other times he has been given a sticker which I much prefer. Am I unusual in this??
Lucky it is only my hairdresser that does this, and she always asks if they can before she gives it to them. And our family GP gives out stamps and stickers. I'm a bit of a fence sitter on this one really. I'm fine with it if they ask me first, and there have been times when i have said no, but I don't like it when they make it seem like a bribe kwim? I have seen at the same hairdressers where there have been kids playing up, and they get given lollies to keep them placated while the Mum has her hair done, and then there are kids who asked directly for a lolly when they get there. I have even used the lolly bribe myself on the odd occasion (ok, maybe more than the odd one ) when I have really needed them to co operate for me or if I am at my wits end and nothing else is working. Sometimes this works and other times it doesn't, but if it doesn't, they dont get the lolly that's for sure!
I find it amazing that people will offer a lolly to really young toddlers, and assume that they can have it kwim? But I hate the 'tease & and make mum the bad guy' worse, where someone will go to give them something, you say no and then you're the bad guy because they say "sorry, your Mum said no" and the child gets upset at you then.
You're right Sherie, that is annoying. Luckily Jack has no interest in lollies yet so doesn't mind when I say no. But that might change when he gets older! Surely it's not too hard to ask a parent first.
ggrrr this gives me the irrits no end. For a long time Yasin just ignored the bribes because he had no idea what a sweetie was but then the people who own the corner shop gave him some and the outlaws gave him some so now he's more clued in.
Not that Tori is old enough for this yet, but I think that it is unreasonable that people think they should have to bribe children to get them to do what is expected. I don't even keep a "lolly jar" in my classroom as I don't believe in that sort of reward- occasionally I will bring in lollies as an extra special treat for something, but it is only a one off thing. I would rather reward children with other things, such a s praise, an itnerest activity etc.
My doctor does not carry anything like that, they have a big box of toys in the room and when MAdison has had what needed to be done, she gets to pley with the toys, I reward Madison with a tiny peice of choc as she is toilet training at the moment, and all of my family will ask if she can have what they want to give her. However my MIL gave her a stocking of lollies for christmas, so she gets that every occasionally.
On CHristams eve i was at my mums and her patners son gave his 5 months old a candy cane to suck on, and then they all looked at me to see if Charlotte could, No Way, My sister then went on to say that i am a prude becuase i like to follow the book when it comes to giving my children food.
Thanks for your responses girls. So many people seem to want to give Jack lollies it makes me feel like I am unusual and wrong. It's nice to know others feel the same wayas me!
My IL's are notorious for doing this and even tho DH and I have tried saying things they still continue to do it (including giving a lollypop for breakfast!!!). Admittedly they have eased up off late but now my dad has started mainly with chocolate grrrr it does getme mad but at least I was able to say something to him and now he asks me first.
Dont really have many "strangers" offer her lollies, where we live in Karratha a lot of palces hand out stamps/stickers which luckily Gabriella loves. If people aske me first I dont mind that cause then I can choose whether to give it to her or not its when they dont ask that I get annoyed.
I have fond childhood memories of a jellybean at the doctors - whereas we *never* had lollies at home. The only other time we had lollies was when Nanna gave us 20c to go to the deli for a bag of mixed sweets - we made them last because they were a scarce commodity.
These days, however, lollies and cordial and softdrink and junkfood are every where and it seems that kids have ready access to pocket money and the commercial will to purchase this stuff (instead of saving up for a coveted toy). Geez I'm sounding old fashioned but the state of play has changed a lot so good on you all those mums out there who are making a stand (BTW I don't think toddlers should be snacking on junk food, but it gets harder to monitor once they are older)!
:-)
Lolly bribe whinge
Reply With Quote) when I have really needed them to co operate for me or if I am at my wits end and nothing else is working. Sometimes this works and other times it doesn't, but if it doesn't, they dont get the lolly that's for sure!
Bookmarks