6 months and still no end in sight.

[~Stoked~]

I'm sorry forshelby. I have no advice because my little guy is only *just* learning to sleep all night and without our 'assistance' at 21 months and that's only because he has kinda had too since DS2's arrival.
It WILL happen one day. I know that's not much help right now but it WILL happen.
Big hugs for you xx

[forshelby]

Cheezel - Thanks hun.

Doubletrouble - I have a sling but he just goes berserk no matter what when he's in one of these moods.

Meercat - We already co-sleep, but it doesn't seem to be working anymore.

Miss.B - We looked into colic and reflux, he had both and was treated for both. He's come off his meds as it wasn't an issue anymore, but sleep has always been an issue through it all, meds or not.

Oceanprincess - He wakes grizzling sometimes, but mostly it progresses to distressed screaming very quickly. Even if I'm right there holding him, he still works up to a full blown scream. If I leave him for a little bit the screaming goes on indefinitely. He'll go to sleep if I lie down beside him but as soon as I move or try to put him in his bed he cracks it again.

3littlemonkeys - I've tried a few routines from the dreaded books. That resulted in me wanting to have a bonfire with said books. (lucky they aren't mine or I would've burned them in a fit of rage by now). I'm looking into sleep school but can't get through to talk to an actual person, I keep getting put through to this and that dept, and nobody can actually put me in the right spot!

Bloom - We've tried CIO before. He screamed to the point we were both extremely distressed. He was getting to the point where he was choking himself on his own saliva so I couldn't let it go on. He'll cry indefinitely, it seems.

BlackRose - Tell me more about this Tresillian thingie.....

Em - Short answer- YES. Long answer comes with a but.

BooBoo - I think I said above to someone else, that he was on meds but it made no difference to his sleep. He no longer needs them as he's the same on or off them now.

Arcadia - The most heartbreaking part of this is that cosleeping is no longer working. I don't know what changed.

SammyRo - The interval thing hasn't worked so far, but maybe it's because I'm in the wrong frame of mind. Maybe I'm hindering its success by giving up too soon and picking him up to rock him to sleep.

Stoked - Soooo I should have another baby? heh... thanks for making me smile.

If anyone can give me more specifics on HOW they taught their babies to self soothe I'd be very grateful. I didn't want to do this, I wanted to be a gentle parent, but during the day, after no sleep.. I am NOT gentle. I'm a sobbing, hysterical mess and I can barely manage to smile at my baby let alone play with him. He will be better off suffering just a little bit through some firm handed parenting now, than having a zombie for a mother. Failure, thy name is Forshelby.

[[M]umma[M]ia]

We did sleep school through the Queen Elizabeth Centre when DD was 6 months old and I have never looked back. She is now 3 (almost) and ever since then has been a perfect sleeper. It was such a huge weight off my shoulders.

[onthefly]

Have you investigated food allergies/intolerances? Any in your families?

Forshelby, you're not a failure, you're a mother trying to parent a high-needs baby all on your own. You need physical assistance. I know you don't have family around and your DH does what he can, but that really is the crux of your problem I think. Can you talk to your CHN or GP about support services for parents in need? There must be something out there for parents all on their own.

[Charlotte91]

Oh sweetie. I wish I could give you big squishy hugs.

No advice, just masses and masses of love.

[onthefly]

Is he on solids?

[forshelby]

Is he on solids?

Yes.

[ladybirdflies]

I still can't get the message through??

[onthefly]

It's a long shot, but you're desperate, right? Maybe cut out the food and see what happens. If nothing else you've ruled it out as a factor.

[starangelk]

Babe, you are 100% right - you need support. And here it is from me. No doubt you feel like you have tried EVERYTHING, heard every little piece of advice and swing from wanting to hear more ideas to just feeling like deep down this is the way it is for you and you have to suck it up. I am a big believer that when things really really suck we don't have a clear concept of how to fix the problem because our judgment gets clouded. I think you need a fresh start, find a brand new MCHN and get some else news perspective. It's just my 2c but I can tell you want and need support and I think it all helps. Massive

[Tuesday's Child]

Massive As another parent of a bad sleeper I don't have any advice that others probably haven't already given. I just want you to know you are NOT a failure. And it doesn't last forever.

[Razzberry]

This is how I felt at 6 months, I kept waiting for that "magic time" when people said my dd would calm down, sleep, be over reflux etc and by 6 months I was going out of my mind. I had a breakdown in front of a health nurse and she contacted tresillian and I got in the next day after my phone interview. I must have sounded VERY desperate as most of the time people wait weeks and months to get in. It ddnt help all of my DD's problems, she is still a bad sleeper and still has silent reflux but things did start improving.

Sending you a hug, wish I could make you feel better!

[MrsFabuloso]

Tell me more about this Tresillian thingie.....

If anyone can give me more specifics on HOW they taught their babies to self soothe I'd be very grateful. I didn't want to do this, I wanted to be a gentle parent, but during the day, after no sleep.. I am NOT gentle. I'm a sobbing, hysterical mess and I can barely manage to smile at my baby let alone play with him. He will be better off suffering just a little bit through some firm handed parenting now, than having a zombie for a mother. Failure, thy name is Forshelby.

I'm not Black Rose, but can tell you a little about tressilian. It is similar to Karitane (if you know what that is!). They are both sleep 'schools'. They both use methods of CC, to help families with getting kids into sleep routines. They have residential programmes where you can go and stay for a few nights-a week or two (I think!) or they have day stays where you can go and learn to sooth your LO with the help of professionals taught in their methods.
Do not feel bad about trying to learn how to be a better parent. You need to be happy too. I know the trauma and torture of not sleeping and it's so not pretty. It can cause depression and rifts in relationships. You are doing what you need to to be a better mother and to become the persona nd parent you want to be.