Age gaps between siblings

[visitor1]

Whilst reading through May issue of ABA Essence magazine i came across and article on ages gaps and found this quote:

Some experts suggest that there should be no less then 3 years between each child. this view has also been expressed by Dr Elliot Barker, director of the Canandian Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. Br Barker notied that 'It requires an enormous amount of time and energy on the part of both parents to adequately nurture one child under the age of three. Spacing children is one inportant thing that parents can do to prevent the exhaustion that occurs when well-intentioned parents take on the very difficult task of trying to meet the emotional needs of closely spaced children.

For me this is an insult. My girls are less then 11 months apart and i give them 110% of my time regardless how tired or exhausted i am. DH works full time and still does not let anything interfere with raising our girls. Yes its hard with 2 young kids...but i sure as hell would never ever change it (if i could).

Is it saying 'If you have your kids close then your silly as they cant have their needs met correctly'? Thats how it has come across to me.

Im offended a bit from this story but was after other peoples views.

[~Trish~]

Hmmm...when do children stop needing nurturing? As you know Kim, my DS1 is 3 1/2 years old and he still needs lots of our love and attention. So why is 3 the magic age? We need to give all of our children nurturing no matter what age, so really, what difference does it make how far apart in age they are?

I suppose the closer in age your children are the more demand there is on mum and dad, but if you think you're up for it then why wait? We did purposefully leave a 3 year age gap, but I think we are unusual lol!

[visitor1]

Im nearly 26 and still like nuturing from my parents now and then..LOL

I could not imagine waiting that long for the next child. But thats me. I respect others who wait that long or those who have fertility issues and falling pregnant in a snap isnt an option.

[~Trish~]

My mum still nurtures me LOL!

I wasn't ready for another bub for a long time and I really wanted to feel ready before we went ahead.

[StrawberryMumma]

Don't worry about it Kim. You have your views, they have theirs. Not worth letting it get to you IMO. You know whether or not you are meeting your girls needs, so ignore those opinions since they offend you.

[LuluHB]

I agree with Lee - just another one of those articles that is bound to p*ss off a whole heap of people - me included given I'm about to have girls 12 months apart so I'm basically in your shoes Kim. I have no doubt whatsoever that it will be exhausting raising what are effectively two babies (pregnancy and raising one baby has been hard enough), but I don't doubt for a second that both my children will be well loved and their needs met more than adequately. I think its the same as the people that come out and give working mums such a hard time - we all do what we have to do for whatever reason (me having babies close is because I'm an old chook and have run out of time!) and its not appropriate for there to be a blanket statement made that one way or another is wrong. I have a SIL who with a 9 and 7 year old has just gone back to have another baby. Personally I think she's nuts - just at the stage where her boys are a bit independent and she and her DH can claim a bit of "us" time back but instead they're starting again with nappies and 24/7 dependancy.

So long as our children are loved, who cares how, why or when we do it.

[mrsmac]

I think its different for everyone, I like my gaps and have felt that I have fully enjoyed each bub but then again sometimes having a toddler and a teenager feels like sheer stupiduty!!!
Don't let it bug you Kim, everyone has a gap that they feel comfortable with and who cares what the so called experts say.

[Rouge]

Seriously don't waste your time stressing over these things. I'm sure they have a point but then I'm sure there are benefits for being close together too. You have a family dynamic that works for you and you don't need to let someone elses opinion question that. Its just an article, don't stress it. If I got offended at every thing that seemed to be pointing the finger at me I would always be offended about something. Not worth it, redirect that energy into your beautiful family and know you are doing whats right for you, regardless of the advice that is out there for others. And remember what might seem offensive to you may be very helpful to someone else. Its all relative. So don't stress over it