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thread: Age gaps between children

  1. #1
    shell68 Guest

    Age gaps between children

    :?:

    Hi, my husband and I have an 8 month old and would like to start trying for number two.



    I would love to hear from anyone that has a close age gap and whether they recommend it and how hard it was in the beggining.

    I do know that all children / families are different, but would love to hear your thoughts.

  2. #2
    shell68 Guest

    Thank you for your reply, we have started to try this month.

  3. #3
    Nentikobe Guest

    I have three daughters. The first two are 2 years 5 months apart, the second two are 2 yrs 9 days apart. I actually liked the smaller gap better. I do remember well having a capsule and two carseats in the back seat though!!!! (Necessary as my eldest daughter is tiny!)

  4. #4
    jilly Guest

    Age gaps

    Hi all,

    I have two with 2 years and 7 months between them, this was perfect at the time, they got along really well, but are now at each other's throats. My sister and I were 21 months apart, and have been best friends our whole lives. Emma was born 8 years after number 2, and now I have two of the best babysitters around.

    I think you will be happy whatever you decide to do!

    Bye for now,

    Jill.

  5. #5
    ♥ BellyBelly's Creator ♥
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    Feb 2003
    Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, Australia
    8,982

    Now I have two I can answer this one!!! Marisa was a little over 2.5 years when Elijah was born. She's always been very clingy and close to me so I knew it would be tough. I just had no idea how tough! For the first 6 weeks, she was very, very naughty and I found it quite hard to deal with. The midwife in hospital actually warned me that I should expect this sort of behaviour due to adjustment, for example toddler mimicking newborn behaviour (crying for attention, expecting us to anticipate needs like baby, talking like a baby etc). Of course, all children are different and react differently.

    She's much better now, she's always loved him to bits but I think the attention adjustment has been hard for her to comprehend at that age. They tell me it's much better when they are 3! But I am very happy with the way it's all turned out.
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
    In 2015 I went Around The World + Kids!
    Forever grateful to my incredible Mod Team

  6. #6
    BellyBelly Life Member

    Jul 2004
    House of the crazy cat ladies...
    3,793

    My sister has 3 kids. The eldest and the middle child are 1 year & 9 months apart, and there is 2 years & 2 months between the middle and the youngest. The elder girl really played up when her first sibling was born, she even got kicked out of daycare for biting & other attention seeking behaviours. But now that the new baby has come along the older 2 just play with each other and there doesnt seem to be any jealousy from either of them as they still have each others company.

  7. #7
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jul 2004
    5,756

    I'd prefer to have smaller age gaps. DP and I are thinking maybe when Lily is 2 or 3 to try for #2. But this might not be the case as i've got PCOS and i don't ovulate very much. So conceiving Lily was truely a miracle!

  8. #8
    BellyBelly Member

    Sep 2004
    Melbourne, Australia
    385

    I have met somebody who had babies about 10 months apart, which is quite amazing - she got preg pretty much straight after having the first, and apparently the second-born was born early. They were close but also quite competitive and the second was a bigger child than the first and was likely to be in the same year at school.

    My two will be 2 and a half years apart - I'm looking forward to that gap with the older one having reached a good level of autonomy and understanding when the next one arrives. However, I would have been very happy to have them close together also.

  9. #9
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Nov 2004
    Chasing Daylight...
    2,034

    My daughter was 20 mo when my son was born. I think it depends a bit on their personality as to how they will accept the "competition".

    She was fine with him. He didn't come home til he was 3mo and then we had to be very careful with him for the first few months.

    She is a beautiful, gentle little spirit and was an absolute treasure with him.

  10. #10
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Aug 2003
    VIC
    985

    I wanted 2 kids and i wanted no more than 18 months between them. After having Ashlea, i was scared as hell of ever getting pregnant again (very nasty pregnancy! Kelly, remember we used to chat before bellybelly?? You would have heard it all!!!!)
    By the time i actually could have gotten over the scared of being pregnant thing I knew I wouldn't stay with Ash's dad so figured it was best not to go there again. Now Ash is three and I can't imagine i'll be in a position to have another baby any time soon, although I really wanted 2 kids. If i do have more i'll be one of those people that have an 18year old daughter and a new baby! lol
    As horrible as it sounds, i couldnt be bothered going back to that baby, nappies, waking up stage at the moment anyway.

  11. #11
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Nov 2004
    Chasing Daylight...
    2,034

    Fletch that is unbelievable! That poor woman's body! She must really really really want a big family.

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Aug 2004
    Hunter Valley, Wine Country, NSW
    3,006

    I`ve just come across this thread - a bit late LOL.

    Fletch OMG 9 children and the oldest being 10, how does she ever get anything done.

    I`d like to have my first 2 close together and then a gap between numbers 2 and 3. How close at this stage I`m not sure about, I am contemplating having number 2 born 12 - 15 months after number 1 :-k

    Take Care

    Deeanne

  13. #13
    BellyBelly Member

    Apr 2004
    Outer East, Melbourne
    581

    Hi - I would have liked three years between mine - I had this thing about the first one being out of nappies and the cot well before the second one arrived.

    But it has not worked out like that and Caitlin will be just 4 when this one is due and I'm happy with that, I like that she's excited and knows a bit more about what is going on than a two year old would.



    Barb.


  14. #14
    Resident Samsquanch

    Jan 2005
    Down by the ocean
    6,110

    My boys are 22mths apart. I found it to be not too bad most of the time, depending on how tired I was. I didn't have any jealousy issues. Mason was happy to play on his own as he is an easy going kid. If he wanted attention I read him a story while I was BFing.
    When Angus started to roll around Mason got a bit more interested.

    I'm planning on the next bub ATM and I hope that all will be fine this time. Angus will be closer to 3 if we conceive soon. He is more demanding of my attention than Mason what Mason was. Angus is the same age now that Mason was when I had him.

  15. #15
    BellyBelly Member

    Feb 2005
    out and about
    1,068

    My first two were 6 minutes apart (LOL) then they were nearly 5 when #3 was born. Then theres about a 21 month gap between #3and #4, am nervous about toddler and baby, but hey will cope ( I hope)

  16. #16
    Senior Moderator

    Nov 2004
    Chickens.
    4,989

    Difference between DSD and DS is 11 years and she's just fantastic with him. When she's around, we really don't have to worry about Alex because he's playing with "bonwen"! They both love it!

    This bubba will be born sometime between July and September (hopefully) and Alex will be between 26 and 28 months old. We're already having issues with him and jealousy, especially if I'm holding my newborn nephew. Alex comes up and tries to sit on my knee, pushes the baby away, and sometimes tries to hit the baby. I think we're going to have trouble when this one arrives!

    Although I've been told to tell Alex that it's "his" baby and he has to help look after it, I'm still wondering...

  17. #17
    ok take 2 of going back to work.....

    Nov 2004
    Giving the gift of life to a friend..
    4,264

    Divvy,
    I am having opposite with Maddy...
    She says this is her baby & she wants to learn & do everything with it, she wants to do night time feeds & said she will wash the nappies etc, I just have to hang them out & bring them in, she is always in the baby room putting the cloth nappies on all the stuffede bigger toys.

    Elmo has opn a nappy & is in a papoose!

    She takes all my friends in to show them her babies room. She actually asked if I would have 11, coz she really likes babies, but doesn't want to ahve any of her own so she will be another mum to the 11, I just looked at her & said... NO!

    She is gonna take over & tells DH unless he learns how to do it all soon she wont let him touch the baby! ](*,)

  18. #18
    Senior Moderator

    Nov 2004
    Chickens.
    4,989

    PMSL at Elmo in a papoose!

    Is she going to drive the baby to its MCHN appointments too?

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