Am I creating a bad habit? Or have I already??

[Arimeh]

Ok, so this is it - DS has always been a pretty good sleeper, we used to just put him down in the cot, put his wrap over him (including his face cos he liked it) and then walk out. He wouldn't make a noise, just go to sleep.

So now he has had a couple of bouts of different illnesses, and I think his eye teeth are bothering him (when he lets me look, his gums are all red and swollen so I think they are coming) and now he will not go to sleep unless I am sitting on the floor near his cot and patting his back or something.

He is now going through the "Stuff sleep - lets play" stage and will jump up and down in his cot, even though he is sooooo obviously tired. I usually tell him to lie back down, and sometimes he does it, if he doesn't I walk out of the room. Then he cries. I usually let him go for a few minutes (I'm usually waiting outside the door) and then go back in. Then the whole, lie down, sit beside cot starts all over again. Sometimes this happens five times to get him to sleep during the day and at nighttime.

I'm just wondering if I should stick with the crying a bit more, and if I'm making it worse by going in there when he wants me to do that and sitting by his cot, like am I giving in to him too easily? Just after some advice from people that have started doing this at a late stage (remembering he is 16 months) and they grew out of it or if it started a bad habit.

I'm so confused as to what I should be doing for him. I don't mind sitting down there, especially now cos I can use the time out and relaxation, but when the new baby comes along, I'm worried that I won't have the time to do this!!!!!

Any comments/advice/help will be great. Thanks!!!

[Janie]

I know that with my DS, leaving him to cry, even for a minute, only makes things worse. Obviously other people have different experiences, but in our case it simply doesn't 'work'.

I'm no baby expert, but I'd be inclined to stay with him, and when he stands up, lie him back down. You might go through it 38 times, but eventually he'll get it. And just be so tired that he goes to sleep! I do this (was recommended at sleep school) and it works, although is exhausting! It does get better with time though.

Good luck, whatever you do, I hope it gets easier soon! I feel your pain

[Liz]

You're not giving in at all, and no there's no bad habits forming. These 'habits' chop & change in my experience, and are never long term. From the sounds of it, he needs some extra comfort right now. If he's been sick, and is teething, he obviously wants to know that mummy is around, which is a fair enough thing for a 1 yr old to want

Think you hit the nail on the head when you said he's going through a stage. No doubt he'll have many more 'stages' to go yet, with development and more teeth, and of course a new baby coming.. so I'd just try to ride each one out.

As for the new baby coming.. you'll be surprised how you work things out. I still help DS off to sleep, but we usually work it out around the bub, and it hasn't really been a problem. I've often sat and fed Kayla whilst sitting on DS's bed putting him to sleep. Just do what you have to

[*Efjay*]

Around this age, I just give up on pushing day sleeps. If she really needs it & goes down easily then ok, But if she stuff around I just don't bother. All of my kids have dropped days sleeps by about 18 months.
Isla is 18 months now & has a day sleep every 3 or 3 days.

[tiggerandpooh]

Mel - Aston did this too after a bout of sickness and teething, and I just decided that I would sit on the floor and pat his bottom, and said to myself that this is what I am doing right now... and relaxed into it. It didn't last, and he has gone back to being the brilliant self settler that he has been always. every now and then he has a night where here needs me to do it, but not often, and i just do it.
Relax darlin - look it at as a way to slow down for a while. As for when no.2 comes along - worry about it then - because what he is doing now, he will most likely not be doing then - and will have moved onto something else

[Liz]

OMG FJ! No sleeps at 18 months?? LOL - DS still needs a sleep around lunch time. That said tho, he's not in bed early at night. Our lives just don't cater for kids getting to bed at 7pm, so we still have day sleeps. Think i'd go insane if my 18mth old was awake all day... wouldn't get a break! LOL.

[Janie]

Don't tell me that FJ, you're freaking me out! All of the kids in our families have had day sleeps until about 3, I was kinda hoping for that too I'd go loony if DS didn't sleep at all during the day!

[*Efjay*]

Mine seem to think its a great time to drop them because I could really use a day sleep around that age because I pregnant with the next! Evan was always hard to get to sleep so when it became really hard we just stopped pushing it because come 4pm he was either still asleep or not at all. Once the sleep got as late as that, bed time became an issue. So I made a rule that 2pm was the cut off to go down & up by 3pm.
just to freak you all out even more, we don't get day sleeps AND my kids don't go to bed till 8.30, even Isla! She sleeps in well though.

[Arimeh]

Thanks guys.

FJ - I so couldn't even think of the monster not having a day sleep - he is such a cranky little thing when he gets the sleeps!! I think I would have to leave home if he dropped it.. lol That being said, on day care days he has a midday sleep and then goes to bed a little earlier than usual at night. It just seems that since he has been getting up so early lately (5am) by 9.30 he is ready for a nap and sometimes only sleeps one hour. So I do try and put him down again in the arvo for a quick nap as he doesn't go to sleep until 8.30 at night.

I did try dropping down to one sleep a little while ago, with no success. Maybe its time to try that again? Ahhh who knows.. sometimes I just feel like I'm because I have no idea what he wants or needs!!!!! I think it would make the decision easier if he was a happy go lucky kid that wasn't a bother when he wasn't sleeping!!!! Because he is my monster, I love it when he goes to sleep because I get to have a breather from the constant whinging!!!!!

Vicky - thanks mate

[*Efjay*]

I think I would work towards getting him to 1 day sleep & sleeping in later then 5am! I would try & darken his room as much as possible so in the mornings there isn't anything that may wake him so early. Drag out that early morning nap as long as you can, work towards 10 am for a few days then 10.30 & so on. I think at this age a nap around 11 am or just after he has had lunch for at least 2 hours would be much better then a 5 am start with two sleeps in the day. Having just the one sleep would also help work towards an earlier bed time (if thats what you want). Hopefully with just the one day sleep he will slot into a nice bed time & wake up at a more suitable hour of the morning, say 8am! LOL I get up at 7.30 during the week & often have to wake Isla just before 9am so I can get Evan to school.

I have no suggestion on how to *get* him to sleep when he is playing as I have always fed to sleep. I really struggle with sleep times if for some reason they are refusing the breast, Its something i hope to change a little this time round. I am more then happy to feed to sleep, but I would like to be able to out them down for a sleep & just walk away & know they will go to sleep with out me if its needed. At the moment, I can't leave Isla (it was the same with the boys) to go out at night because DH wont be able to get her to sleep. The only thing I do that runs into bed time is the P&C meetings & I still leave before they finish so I can get back by 9 at the latest.

Anyway, I am with the others to just keep doing what works & what your comfortable with as far as lettin ghim cry, but usually I think at this age they just get too worked up if you leave them for to long, the other thing that maybe you could try if you wanted too is lay with him in your bed for day sleeps, that way you get a nice rest up too.

[Arimeh]

FJ - unfortunately our bed is like a big jumping castle for him to go "bouncy bouncy" on... doesn't matter how tired or sick he is, its a game for him, so thats out.

Its only been the last few mornings he is up at 5am, usually he is up at 6 or 6.30 which slots into our routine perfectly because when I work (3 days a week) we leave the house at 7am. So 6.30 would be the latest I would want him to sleep in anyway.

But yeah, I'll try giving the one sleep a day another go, he might have gotten old enough for it now...god these toddlers are confusing.. always changing things around when we have just gotten used to it..

[tiggerandpooh]

i just remembered Mel, when Aston dropped down to one sleep a day, things went all over the place, took a week or so until I could get him to have a sleep in the middle of the day - like Aricyn, he would wake early, be back in bed by 9, and then come the afternoon was a nightmare! now he has a sleep between 11 - 12, usually give him an early lunch and then he sleeps for a couple of hours.