Am I creating a bad habit? Or have I already??

**Arimeh** · May 20th, 2008, 03:43 PM

Ok, so this is it - DS has always been a pretty good sleeper, we used to just put him down in the cot, put his wrap over him (including his face cos he liked it) and then walk out. He wouldn't make a noise, just go to sleep.

So now he has had a couple of bouts of different illnesses, and I think his eye teeth are bothering him (when he lets me look, his gums are all red and swollen so I think they are coming) and now he will not go to sleep unless I am sitting on the floor near his cot and patting his back or something.

He is now going through the "Stuff sleep - lets play" stage and will jump up and down in his cot, even though he is sooooo obviously tired. I usually tell him to lie back down, and sometimes he does it, if he doesn't I walk out of the room. Then he cries. I usually let him go for a few minutes (I'm usually waiting outside the door) and then go back in. Then the whole, lie down, sit beside cot starts all over again. Sometimes this happens five times to get him to sleep during the day and at nighttime.

I'm just wondering if I should stick with the crying a bit more, and if I'm making it worse by going in there when he wants me to do that and sitting by his cot, like am I giving in to him too easily? Just after some advice from people that have started doing this at a late stage (remembering he is 16 months) and they grew out of it or if it started a bad habit.

I'm so confused as to what I should be doing for him. I don't mind sitting down there, especially now cos I can use the time out and relaxation, but when the new baby comes along, I'm worried that I won't have the time to do this!!!!!

Any comments/advice/help will be great. Thanks!!!

**Janie** · May 20th, 2008, 03:54 PM

I know that with my DS, leaving him to cry, even for a minute, only makes things worse. Obviously other people have different experiences, but in our case it simply doesn't 'work'.

I'm no baby expert, but I'd be inclined to stay with him, and when he stands up, lie him back down. You might go through it 38 times, but eventually he'll get it. And just be so tired that he goes to sleep! I do this (was recommended at sleep school) and it works, although is exhausting! It does get better with time though.

Good luck, whatever you do, I hope it gets easier soon! I feel your pain

**Liz** · May 20th, 2008, 03:57 PM

You're not giving in at all, and no there's no bad habits forming. These 'habits' chop & change in my experience, and are never long term. From the sounds of it, he needs some extra comfort right now. If he's been sick, and is teething, he obviously wants to know that mummy is around, which is a fair enough thing for a 1 yr old to want

Think you hit the nail on the head when you said he's going through a stage. No doubt he'll have many more 'stages' to go yet, with development and more teeth, and of course a new baby coming.. so I'd just try to ride each one out.

As for the new baby coming.. you'll be surprised how you work things out. I still help DS off to sleep, but we usually work it out around the bub, and it hasn't really been a problem. I've often sat and fed Kayla whilst sitting on DS's bed putting him to sleep. Just do what you have to

***Efjay*** · May 20th, 2008, 04:33 PM

Around this age, I just give up on pushing day sleeps. If she really needs it & goes down easily then ok, But if she stuff around I just don't bother. All of my kids have dropped days sleeps by about 18 months.
Isla is 18 months now & has a day sleep every 3 or 3 days.

**tiggerandpooh** · May 20th, 2008, 04:37 PM

Mel - Aston did this too after a bout of sickness and teething, and I just decided that I would sit on the floor and pat his bottom, and said to myself that this is what I am doing right now... and relaxed into it. It didn't last, and he has gone back to being the brilliant self settler that he has been always. every now and then he has a night where here needs me to do it, but not often, and i just do it.
Relax darlin - look it at as a way to slow down for a while. As for when no.2 comes along - worry about it then - because what he is doing now, he will most likely not be doing then - and will have moved onto something else

**Liz** · May 20th, 2008, 04:40 PM

OMG FJ! No sleeps at 18 months?? LOL - DS still needs a sleep around lunch time. That said tho, he's not in bed early at night. Our lives just don't cater for kids getting to bed at 7pm, so we still have day sleeps. Think i'd go insane if my 18mth old was awake all day... wouldn't get a break! LOL.