Baby crying

[krysalyss]

The general rule is that you shouldnt use cry it out techniques with bubs under 6 months. This is because they dont have any concept of object permanence eg They dont understand that something can still be there even when they cant see it. In their head if they cant see you (or hear you etc) you aren't there. This is very distressing for a bub. Using cry it out methods after 6 months is generally a matter of individual preference, but 6 weeks is far too young.

[lan]

Thanks all for sharing your advice and experience. I have seek advice from midwifes, my obstetrician and other family members, but they all seem to advice us to leave our baby Jason crying as they say crying will never hurt babies regardless of how long they cry for. To answer Erin and Nikbrad question about 'why am i expected to leave Jason crying'....well, the advices from doctors, midwifes and relatives had basically further encouraged my husband to expect me to leave Jason cry to sleep every single time or at least half an hour. My husband says his helping me out by letting Jason cry to sleep, that way Jason won't be a spoil to us both later on and that he'll learn to sleep himself. The other day i spoke to a local council and she advised me to pick our baby up everytime he cries and avoid spoiling him, so that night i tried picking him up and cuddling him every single time...but it just doesn't to work as well, he just basically cried that night everytime i let him down...therefore, i was so exhausted by the morning and left him crying for over 20minutes and he fell asleep soon after that. So, right now i'm just so tied and confused, but when i ask my husband to help out, most of the time he'll just leave Jason crying for an extended time which is pointless because i won't get to rest that way as well.

[nikbrad]

Do what is right for you. Yes you need to parent together but why is Jason crying and if you want to pick him up then do it. My advice on advice (and you can to whatever you like with mine!) is everyone will be full of advice, some will work for you some won't, take what works for you and throw the rest out the window. As Jasons is crying, are you doing controlled crying with him ie are you trying to settle him in his cot then leaving the room for a short period then going back in or are you leaving him for 30 minutes at a time. (Does that question make sense?) It's it really hard job being a mum and I remember with my first I thought I was doing everything wrong. We put a lot of expectations on ourselves as mums so I'm sure you are doing your best which is just fabulous. Do you use a dummy? Another way I've settled my kids if they have woken during the night is to rub their tummies and just say shhhhhh over and over in a whisper. If you feel the need seek out a sleep school in your area but in saying that I think some of those go for the controlled crying but I might be wrong I'm just going on what I've read.