Best/Worst Advice on Raising Kids

[MummyOfTerrors]

bad advice - you both didnt die SIDS
we changed to grobags from swaddling and our parents told us we were wasting our money as we didnt die in our sleep WTF???? after awhile we gave up trying to explain that while we didnt die, many babies did and we are trying to reduce our childrens risk!

all newborns/babies must be washed at least once day! (MIL)
well 1 my son cat napped so while he was sleeping i was trying to
2 his got bad skin and bathing would flare it up
3 he didnt move today and i washed his bum!

i recieved some shocking bad advice

my mum was told by her mum to prepare her nipples for BF before i was born by scrubbing them with steel wool! (my mum didnt dare)

good advice a midwife gave me for engorged boobs was fill 2 disposable nappies with water and freeze them and apply to boobs when hot and painful and then refreeze (cabbage leaves are good but dont last she said)

[Amity]

Well actually, when Alex had colic, the MCHN and my lactation consultant told me to put my finger in the brandy bottle and let Alex suck on it! It certainly helped with the colic....

My DH used to bring me a Baileys at about 9pm each night, which would be coming through the bmilk at 10pm feed, which also helped Alex sleep... mind you we only did this when he was really unsettled.

He seems okay now!

[Lulu]

My girlfriend was having trouble with breastfeeding, and colic etc. Her MIL told her to just get a bottle and put Ribena (straight) in in for baby as it had all the nutrition baby would need........He was 4 mths old.

I was told that bubs should have no reason to wake thro the night from 6 weeks old. No not even for a feed, by a MCHN.

[BellyBelly]

Can you share both the best advice and worst advice you were given?

[Kellee]

Not really advice, as such, but more a comment that was made...

My MIL was horrified that a baby we knew was not on solids by 3 1/2 months. She said that he looked like he was starving! He certainly didn't.... and I quickly pointed out that the World Health Organisation recommends delaying the introduction of solids to around 6 months (but not before 4 months) in order to reduce the risk of allergic reactions. I was very scared about her saying this because I wondered if she would feed my baby solids when she looked after him for us. Also, Charlie has just started solids (being a baby who is susceptible to allergies), and she wanted to give him bread with oil on it already, even though we weren't going to introduce bread (because of a possible gluten intolerance) for a couple of months yet! MILs drive me nuts... even though they have the best of intentions... Gggrrr.

[min]

OMG @ the Ribena lulu! that is shocking, if ribena was meant to give them all their nutritional needs it would be coming out our nipples! the only thing it would give them would be rotten teeth!

i new a couple who when their babies switched to bottles they always put quik flavouring in the milk, both the kids teeth were brown by 2

[~Raven~]

The best advice came from my parents who told me to relax and figure it out for myself. Mum said to sleep when bub slept so I had plenty of couch naps. When DS#2 came along that was a bit hard as I had 2yo jumping on me.
MIL told me that "satay sauce" poos that DS#1 was doing were abnormal. So I was worried and went to MCHN who said it was fine. MIL couldn't breastfeed so she didn't know that's how a breastfed baby poos.

[Ali]

The BEST advice I was given was...

"everybody has bad days, even babies. When it feels like nothing you are doing is right and you can't work out why your baby is crying/upset/ whingeing just remember that it might be just a bad day. Get through the day the best you can and tomorrow everything will be different"

And - it always was!

[jcm73]

The most appreciated thing anyone said to me was that I was Molly's mum and that anything I decided to do would be ok with Molly because I was the only mum she had, and she loved me for loving her and looking after her, and even though I didn't know if I was doing things the "right" way, they would be right for Molly.

[*Efjay*]

Best advise I have been given - breastfeeding shouldn't hurt, if it does your doing it wrong.

I stuck by this while i was in the hospital & had blisters forming on nipples. It took 7 different midwifes before one agreed with me that it wasn't becasue I had red hair & freckles and therefor senistive skin, it was because I didn't have Evan up high enough.

Worst (more stupidest/funniest) is from MIL (who else!?) Was that If I ate chocolate while BFing, Evan would get diarrhoea and die! Not get sick, he would DIE!
Oh and then there was my grandmothers, your boobs are too small to breastfeed, she couldn't do it, my mother & her sister couldn't do it. So I wouldn't be able to either. Well I showed her!

[katanya]

Best advise I have been given - breastfeeding shouldn't hurt, if it does your doing it wrong.

I stuck by this while i was in the hospital & had blisters forming on nipples. It took 7 different midwifes before one agreed with me that it wasn't becasue I had red hair & freckles and therefor senistive skin, it was because I didn't have Evan up high enough.

I agree Fiona Jill, when I was in hospital I was still grazed and all the midwives were telling me I was attaching properly, finally the lactation consultant showed me a video and I realise he wasn't attached properly at all.

Worst (more stupidest/funniest) is from MIL (who else!?) Was that If I ate chocolate while BFing, Evan would get diarrhoea and die! Not get sick, he would DIE!

OMG that is unbelievable!! I REALLY hope I am not like this with my future DIL!!

I had all kind of people trying to advise me that Felix was "hungry" because he was putting his fingers and objects in his mouth, and was 4 mths..I kept telling them about the WHO recommendations but alot of family friends used to complain to my mother about it!

My best advice is the same as everyone else has receive buy the sounds, to trust your instincts with your own baby, we have always done things well when we did things our own way not followed "advice" from baby trainers!

I have to say I have had a glass of wine and breastfed, I do try to have it away from when the alcohol is peaking though, though sometimes I think to myself that it will make him sleep a little deeper (never does though!)

I think the thing is my doctor told me that new studies have indicated there is NO safe level of alcohol to give and baby, OR have as an adult, that old recommendation of have a glass of red wine a day for your heart health, is now replaced with ..this too will cause cancer! *sigh* can't do anything good anymore can we??

I think the most popular advice given to everyone is still the best, trust your instincts and you'll do best by your baby!

[Lulu]

Bloody MILs, mine told me to drink milk or I couldn't BF (never mind my lactose intolerance), that my milk was not good enough. To give him water thro the night at 6 weeks so he wouldn't wake for an early feed (?).
She just told my friend her son looked like a girl, and that her daughter has trouble at school because she doesn't read enough to her (friend couldn't get a word in to tell her DD is dyslexic).
Oh geez the list goes on.

[*Jo*]

LOL at MILs! Or maybe not, as their advice can be quite dangerous eg. with mine, when we started Kaleb on formula at 2 weeks, he was a little constipated (normal apparently due to the iron in formula) and she wanted to give him orange juice!! Mind you, my mum's not far off - there is definitely something about that generation that want to get babies onto solids asap ... my mum pulled out my baby health book and the CHN at that time had actually written in a recommendation to start me on rice cereal at 5 weeks - how things have changed!

[Phteven]

*bump*

[Trillian]

The best pieces of advice came from my Mum and she told me to just 'go with the flow' and it has really worked. The other was when Lindsay first ate banana and she told me not to freak when he did his first poo after eating it (because of the black threads from the banana) if she hadn't have told me that I would have gone mental I think LOL. The worst piece of advice came from my Dad who said that at 2 weeks I should start putting Farex in Lindsay's bottles (Like he would know)

[guccibabe]

best advise..
follow your instincts
Mum knows their baby best
BREASTFEED BREASTFEED BREASTFEED (if possible of course)
Every baby is different ..there are no text book babies!
Follow babies lead!

worst advice
put your colicky baby of formula (grrr MIL)
Just let baby cry he will get to clingy and its good for them (ahhh)
you are naughty for demand feeding
baby cries more now because he was colicky and you held him to much
I should get out more so baby gets use to others holding him??

ahhh so many negative comments it drives me crazy!But have learned that I am his mum and I know best! Such a hard lesson to learn with so much bad advice out there!

[Jennifer13]

Best advice was when a midwife in hospital showed me how to bf lying down - what a lifesaver that's been!

Haven't really had bad advice, but then my MIL stopped speaking to us when Lucy was a month old!

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Don't even have children, but my parents (both mum and dad) have told me to ignore WHO advice and give my children solids at 3-4m old and wean them just after 6m; that's what they expect me to do too! "We didn't have people telling us what to do back then"; no, but what I do is my choice and TBH I'm lazy enough to go along with WHO so I don't have to sterilise baby forks/spoons or clean cups when I could be BFing! Even if you ignore the new health advise, just look at it from ease-of-use-PoV! No bad advice from MiL, she just says what she did, it's only my parents who try to tell me that's the only way to do it! MiL BF'd a lot longer than my mum too!

Best advice so far: has to be from the girls here! It's just great knowing I'm not the only one with her mum giving stupid advise that she's expected to follow!