Biting

[sconeonamission]

OMG - My son's a biter! I have always dreaded my kid being the be mothers group bully, and last week it all came true! He bit one little girl (same age) twice! I appologised and felt awful! I said he'd never bitten anyone before! Later I realised he's never bitten anyone, but he bites my shirt (which, up til then, thought it was a teething thing) and bit the cat.

Maybe the little girl at mothers group was a one off.... Nope! Visited some friends last night, who have a 8wk old boy and a 2.5yr old girl and he bit the girl 3 times! DH suggested that the girl was in his face yelling at him and he reacted to that. But when someone screams or makes a louder voice than him, he tries to equal or better it and be louder, which he didn't do. DH says we need to discuss it, sort out a way to stop it... But I have no ideas.

I am so embarrassed! I love going to mothers group (even tho there's a clique within the group), but am stressing about tomorrow, wondering if he'll do it again..

What can I do? Ashamed of this as I am to say, I was a biter at playgroup when I was a little over 1yr old. The cure was for me to be bitten back. Didn't do it again.
Ds is only 9mths old, and I don't know if he'll understand.

I just don't know what to do! Any ideas? Suggestions? Books?

[Kitt3n]

yep, bite him back.

Dd bit me when she was about 6 months old - my first reaction was to bite her straight back, she never did it again.

[Arimeh]

My DS is a biter, but only bites me - still does it on and off - and he's 16 months old!!!!

My solution (after the initial shock of the first one and I hit him on the hand ) was I say "NO"... and take him somewhere else, leave him sitting on the ground, with no toys around him.

He cried. But got the message. And its better than hitting him.

He now goes to bite me, and we just say "no".. "don't bite mummy" and he doesn't.
HTH!!!

[Janie]

Yep, I have a bully too Especially when he's tired, he gets vicious He's yet to actually bite another child, but he has done it to us plenty of times.

The thing that works best for us is the same as Mel, I say NO very firmly, put him straight down, and walk away. It usually works and he stops it. In fact, now I think of it, he's been biting less and less since we started doing that...........oh good, I'm happy with that! I can't actually remember the last time he did it!

Give it a go Rhianon......it can't hurt, and it might help

[MantaRay]

Rhianon, I think they all bite at some stage, it doesn't make them a bully. I think it is a normal part of teething and learning about the new feeling in their mouth as new teeth come through. I personally would not bite back at all - it seems to me that teaching that something is wrong by doing the same thing is not logical or effective. What I have done is to say "no" firmly, and explain that it is not ok to bite people and that it hurts and make people sad. When he bites another child I recommend removing him from the situation into a time out. It usually is a short phase that passes once the tooth is through, and while it might happen again with another new tooth it most likely won't happen more than once or twice, and usually not for more than a couple of days at a time. If it does become more prolonged, maybe give the child health line a call for some advice.

[Olive]

PLEASE dont bite him back, it only teaches him that its ok cos mum does it, a mum in m'group does this and her girl bites everyone including her parents, so not working.
id do as the others have suggested and remove from situation and ignore after a firm no from you.

goodluck

[*Belle*]

my daughter has got bitten twice at daycare and I have to say that I think its wonderful you apologised as I never received an apology from the same boys mother. The fact is I actually know the mother shes in my mothers group! but we dont meet up as a group anymore so thankfully its avoided...

I agree if I had a biter as a child I would try to remove them from the situation. Have to mention though what they do at daycare for punishment is tell the child what they have done and tell them they have hurt the other child and they make them hold a cold pack on the bite so they understand what they did was hurt the other child...then they remove them from the situation and the room for 10mins and then after that let them come back in.

[Lulu]

They get very, VERY frustrated at that age. DS hated anyone else talking to me and Dp (esp after DD was born) and used to sing "little Peter Rabbit" at the top of his voice.

DD1 was a shocking biter - so embarassing, but I used to look for the signs she might start up the chompers (stressful situations, too loud etc), and whip her out of the situation and into another room or something and distract her with a new toy. Maybe teach him how to hold his hand up and say NO! So he can "protect" himself if someone is in his face or whatever.

[Chocaholic]

Cooper has only bitten me thankfully, usually on the shoulder when he is being held. It is always around teething time.

First time I didn't know what he was doing and I smacked his nappy as it really hurt. He even drew blood! Now I say a very firm NO when I see him "assuming the position" (i.e. mouth wide and moving his head in) and put him down immediately. I tell him that biting hurts and is not nice. He always cuddles me afterwards.