Jenna didn't start long day time sleeps until she was 6-7-8m old. I used to pull my hair out too!
I tried all sorts of things, but usually the thing that worked was putting her down before she got too tired, and if she did wake up, get her up until thos signs started again, and then put her straight back down again.
Sometimes it worked.

I do believe its just a developmental thing, and plain bad luck. They will eventually get to the longer naps.