I've had these moments and I currently only have one, I'm sure when this baby arrives I will understand more, but I wanted to give you a massive big supportive hug, make you a delicious coffee and sit down and let you vent and cry so you feel better for getting it all out.
Babe - it just sucks, it shouldn't be this hard, and remember that sleep deprivation IS actually a form of torture so don't beat yourself up for screaming and crying too - sometimes a good old fashioned Adult Tanty is needed (and is somewhat theraputic). My heart breaks for you as you are obviously shattered that DD has felt she's made you sad, and verbalised this to you, she is a very intuitive and clever little lady, and I very much doubt she would judge you as harshly as you might judge yourself.
You WILL be a fun Mummy again, I've heard you say it to me in my own ranting posts "This too shall pass" and it will, it sounds like you are going through a particularly tough patch just at the moment, but soon enough it will get a little easier, then a lot easier ......
In the meantime, hang in there, remind your little Miss how much her Mummy loves and adores her and maybe organise a Mummy and Daughter Date - if only for an hour, I bet it would mean the world to both of you and give you some of your Mummy Zing back (you still have it, its just hidden under complete exhaustion!)
Much love you to and try not to beat yourself up and add to your anxiety. Remind yourself that you are NOT superhuman, you are a Mum of two little people who leave you very little time for yourself, so you need to be kind to yourself cos frankly we both know you are awesome!!
Hugs to you Santosha,
You're doing an amazing job. Is there anyone who can take bub off your hands once a week while you and your DD go out and spend some one on one time together? I've got no advice hun, thinking of you and hope it improves soon.
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