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Thread: buby loves mum and dislikes daddy

  1. #1
    opps! i did it again Guest

    Question buby loves mum and dislikes daddy

    hi i have a 3 and half month old daughter

    and she refused to let dad hold her or even feed her she barley allows it only on the odd occassion

    and last night her gran was trying to feed her and she screamed an screamed with her so i had to feed her and she drank like a angel lol... now she has never did this to gran before

    but this is what dad gets each day she gives him evil looks when we show affection to one another or our boys she screams and if i dont look at her when iam feeding and not allowed to talk to anyone else but her she screams so loud...........
    and holds her breathe she wont go to bed unless i put her in she wont let daddy play or hold her she screams when he with her its really sad the other day we were shopping had lunch she screamed and screamed till she went blue and i had to hold her and eat lunch with one hand why is she doing this to us? and we were in k mart and she did the same i had to pick her up she was happy....

    we were told it's seperation anxiety and it get better
    well it aint getting better its worse than EVER

    what can we do we are desperate!

    she hasnt been hurt or
    frighten at all as i protect her all the time


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Bonnie Doon


    I don't really know how to help other than to say I know Louis went through a bit of a stage at around that age, then he came good and now he's starting to be very cautious of strangers again.
    He's always loved his daddy though but not always for settling. Bubbas just love their mums I suppose....
    Maybe spend some time with her together. Both bath her or feed her and she may get used to the idea that you're both there for her...

  3. #3
    Baby_Crazy05 Guest


    OMG! What a little bugger!

    Jovi was a little like that today with her daddy ... got very fussy and crying when he held him, though it not normally, but she's a little under the weather at the moment so I think she just wants Mummy's affection.

    God, I hope she doesn't do this when I go back to work ... DH will be home with her full time ... should be interesting ...

    Good luck ... hope things settle down again though I'm sure they will.

  4. #4
    angelfish Guest


    Sorry I really don't have any good advice. We have the same situation with our second child. She is almost 1 and has just got to the stage of not howling and screaming every time Daddy takes her. It's so hard for us both, as I can't get much of a break from her and he feels rejected, even though he's the most loving and caring father around. To make it worse, our number one child has always been a daddy's boy so he's not used to the mummy's best attitude. I have been advised to persevere with short sessions of daddy looking after her and she'll eventually get better.

  5. #5
    opps! i did it again Guest


    hey ladies

    thanks for the replies i have been so worried it was only our daughter
    she let daddy hold her for abit today but still stares at me and starts this wimpering and sooking so that i pick her up... i hope she grows out of this soon our boys didnt do this to us at all. so iam hoping she grow out of this real quick real sad for all of us... i thought it was cause she was a girl lol.... wishful thinking
    have no idea why she is like this!

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    South Australia


    Mine have both been like that when they were young babies. It helped to leave the baby at home while I went to the shops on the weekends. They can behave very differently when mum's not around. If my baby can see me, he'll always cry for me to hold him, but if I'm not in the room, he's a lot better. I think they need time with their dad so that they learn that they can trust someone other than mum. It must be so hard for the poor dads who miss the baby all day, and come home to a response like that. She will improve eventually.

  7. #7
    Stormi Guest


    I haven't really had any problems like this, although DD who is almost one quite often cries if I hand her over to daddy. She's fine with him most of the time, he looks after her a lot on his own etc, she likes hanging out with him. Just sometimes I'll carry her in and ask him to hold her while I run her bath or something and she'll look at me then cry but as soon as I'm out of sight, she's fine.

    I'm thinking that maybe if you hold her every time she cries when she's with your DH, she might be starting to realise that if she cries, she gets to go back to mummy. Similar to what happens to babies when at night they get taken out of the cot for cuddles if they cry, they soon put two and two together and cry more in the hopes for more cuddles in the night. Maybe you could give her to DH then walk out the room, don't make eye contact with her, and go and occupy yourself with something for a few minutes, and just let her cry for a while. Resist the urge to go in and comfort her, and see what happens. Then come back and rather than automatically going and taking her off DH, just sit next to them on the lounge or something. It might have become a habit for her to cry when she's with DH coz she knows she'll get cuddled by you if she does. Worth a try, I suppose.

  8. #8


    My mum used to get really mad at me, because when I was a baby I did this all the time, apparently. I'd scream the house down if we went to visit anyone, or anyone held me, and it took me ages to get used to my dad when he came home (he had to leave for work the day I was born and so missed my first few months). My mum keeps telling me of one night I just screamed and screamed at a party at my dad's uncle's house and just kept screaming until I was in the car. My mum wanted to just leave me there and have a party, but didn't. She wasn't best pleased with me though.

    I was "cured" of this by my parents taking me out places as much as they could and giving me to other people to hold and told them to ignore my screaming (neighbours, friends and family - daytime, not parties). Sure enough, when I'm old enough to stand and run around there are photos where I'm happy playing with other people and at other homes and stuff. Don't know if I'd have gotten over it myself or not, but I don't think it's that uncommon.

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