I have to say that if Jack had been at that BBQ, he would only have asked for milk or water. Because that's all he's ever drunk he doesn't want anything else and he doesn't feel left out (we don't drink soft drink much either, and when others do he is happy with his water or milk). So if giving that child coke gave the mum some peace and quiet, it is likely that the child is used to having coke. I could have had that peace by giving Jack water. And I think 4 sippy cups of coke is more than 'a moment of peace and quiet'. But I agree, without knowing the circumstances I shouldn't judge.