Soph, I eventually resorted to controlled crying when Maddy was 4 months old. I would have dearly loved to use 'gentle parenting' touches but found that Maddy's insistance of no sleeping during the day and waking every 2hrs during the nice was driving me around the wall. Some days I would just cry because I was so exhausted and like you DH, my DH would sleep through an earthquake.

At Maddy's 4 mth immunisations I talked to my MCHN about it and she gave me some hints. I know that this is a gentle parenting site; but I would hope that the parents here would recognise that every child is different and sometimes although you would LIKE to approach your parenting in a certain way; it does not always work for your family.

Basically we bit the bullet and started the process on a Saturday when DH would be home and could back me up when all I wanted to do was rush in and pick her up. The moment we started seeing tired signs, it was nappy change time and then into bed. She cried on and off for several hours the first day; but we took turns just sitting in the room with her but not talking to her other than to tuck her back into the sheets and say 'Mummy & Daddy love you, it's time for a nap'.

It wasn't easy, but we peservered with it. On the Sunday she cried for half of the time she'd cried for on Saturday before she fell asleep. Whenever she woke up from a nap; we made a big song'n'dance about it 'Wow, didn't you have a long sleep princess! You are such a good girl!' with lots of cuddles and smiles.

By the fourth day, she cried for less than a minute before falling asleep. I won't say it's all easy because she's been teething recently and threw her pattern out for a few days. Still, she now has daily naps 99% of the time; and that's such a big change. We no longer have a terrible screaming arsenic hour/s in the early evening; and when she is fed and her nappy changed at bed time; she goes into he cot literally without a fuss. Her long-sleep at nighttime is so much smoother; she puts her head straight down and falls straight to sleep generally.

The main thing I have learnt is to look for her 'different cries'. She has a certain cry she uses when she really is sick/upset or has her leg caught in the bars of the cot for example. Oh, and one that says 'Mummy I'm NOT tired and I refuse to sleep'. I've learnt that one in the last month and I generally get her up and we play for a little longer and give it another go. She'll usually sleep the second time I put her down.

I hope that whatever you choose to do, that it works and is right for your family!