Jelvie i have nothing to add about sleeping, but i wanted to tell you that no matter what method of ANYTHING you use, how long you think about your decisions and how often you remind yourself why you're doing a certain thing a certain way, the mother guilt NEVER goes away! I guess mother nature wants us to be thinking about our babies and that combined with the numerous and crazily disparate opinions on everything to do with pregancy, birth and parenting mean we all spend most of our time feeling guilty.
You're a wonderful mumma, the very fact that you're here talking about this shows that. Hang in there lovely, it all gets easier.
Personally, I don't think that there is anything wrong with leaving a baby to whinge or fuss themselves to sleep. However, it sounds like your little one is really overwraught and so not really whingeing to sleep.
Bonnie was particularly screamy at 6 weeks so I know exactly how you feel. Here are some things that really worked for me:
1. Invest in or borrow the Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp. This has some really useful tips that really work in terms of getting your bub to stop crying (not so much getting them to sleep)
2. Buy a white noise CD and play it really loud. This really saved me on so many nights - often she would stop crying and fall asleep in my arms instantly.
3. Keep your afternoons and evening quiet and peaceful, and minimise other people handling your baby at this time. Overstimulation is often the culprit for fussiness.
4. Thirding the suggestion of the hammock - it doesn't send them to sleep immediately, but it makes settling much easier
I gotta say that personally, the bath and massage thing never worked at such a young age, because Bonnie was so overtired by this time of the day the bath just annoyed her (not to mention the drying and then the re-dressing). I also remember trying the skin on skin breastfeeding thing, and that didn't work either. Some babies just don't respond to close cuddles when they're upset - but they do respond to other forms of soothing.
Just a quick update about how my boy's sleeping is going. Interestingly, pretty much everyones responses advised not to leave baby to cry. I ended up modifying my approach so that I still let him cry, but instead of leaving him I stayed by the cot and patted him while he cried until he stopped, then left the room. He now only cries for 10-15 seconds when I place him in his bed, then he shuts his eyes ready for sleep and sleeps until woken for a feed at 10pm, then sleeps until 5am. Pretty successful, I would say.
Thankyou for all your replies but I believe I would still have him not going to sleep properly had I kept picking him up and rocking him/wearing him/soothing him in my arms ect. He has learnt to put himself to sleep and can also do this during the night without me having to go to him. Bliss.
Yeah Jac - Thats fantastic!!! Goes to show you are the only one that knows your baby and what works/doesn't work!!
Although it is great to hear other peoples opinions....Congrats!
i cannot do the controlled crying, it just makes me so sad and uptight listening to them cry when all they want is mummy.
my 1st baby hallie is now 17 months, when she was born she slept in a bassinette and i had my mum and family from overseas there to help....when they all left things changed.
i did what worked and that was holding her while she slept or wearing her in a sling....i know some people may look down on this but it worked for me and i have such a strong bond with my little girl. she does sleep in her bed now but is still all mummy at bed time.
this was difficult sometimes but i dont regret it one bit...
my second baby keira sleeps in her bassinette and i have tried to do this more often (she is 5 months now) i find myself feeling guilty because im so worried that our bond will not be as strong , i love both my girls ...they are my reason for living.
should i sling keira more often for that extra closeness?
Well done Jac, what a great mothers day present. My advise was going to be what ever works for you guys, I bf feed my DD to sleep and now she is starting to put herself to sleep in my arms.
hi all,
bubbaangle, def sling your dd it creates closeness.
my ds wakes up twice a night and the only thing that sends him to sleep is a bottle... its so annoying, but when i ge annoyed i get the guilts.. any way i have tried alot of thing mentioned in this thread and not many have worked, not even the hammock, he tries to get out of it and get on his tummy. patting will get him to sleep after a bath at bed time but when he wakes again it doesent work , so i put his dummy in, that doesnt work either, he gets fussy and his cries get louder and louder its so distressing so in the end its only milk that gets him to sleep and he cant be hungry coz just before i go to bed i give him a bottle in his sleep to tide him over.... that doesnt work either... i feel my next step is for him to cry... but he needs me, so theres got to be a better way !!!
Jac I just wanted to say you've done an awesome job. Thats exactly how my kids slept, and whilst we did have a few incidents due to teething, sickness, wonder weeks etc both my kids love their sleep.
Well done Jac! I hav tried your approach with DS but it just makes him more upset; he is now 3 months old and went down in his crib for the night for the first time! Still didn't sleep through, but didn't scream...I sometimes wish I were able to let him cry as I soothed him, but that doesn't work for either of us.
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