'Disciplining' a 1 year old?

[fionas]

ooooooh, I'd forgotten about the cot thing. I've only done it once but threatened it the next day and she stopped what she was doing immediately.

[KatieRabbit]

I think that the timeout concept is wasted on this age group and more approriate for older children...In my very personal opinion I think that timeout is a rejection of the child (as in you go over there away from me) rather than helping them with consequences etc as timeout is supposedly used to help chn think out what they have done and chn this age are not capable of such thought. Not criticising anyone- just on my soapbox! Back to the OP I have locks on all the kitchen cupboard and drawers except the bottom drawer where DD has a wooden spoon, a teatowel , plastic bowls etc so she plays down there. As a last resort when I am cooking and she is under my feet I put her in the highchair near me in the kitchen and put the tray on it and give her a handful of sultanas. This keeps her happy for a long time. With my DD I knew that when she just hung off me and whinged and grizzled that she was actually tired and needed sleep. The tantrums are hard but very normal. One needs to decide how they will react to them and like someone said, be consistent.

[young_mumma87]

I started putting my DS in time out as soon as he could pull himself (around 9 mths) up and get to thinkg because i dont believe that things should be put up esp if we go to sum one else house!! so he got three warnings and moved him away twice and if he did it a third time he would be put in his cot for bout 2 mins...as i think that myDS has been in this world before he clicked on that if he was naughty he would go to bed so this became his way of telling me he was tired and that he wanted a sleep!!! but now i can take him to any house and all i have to say is no and move him away and depending on his attitude that day (good ol terrible 2's) he wont touch them!!! ifyou can whatch some things on the super nanny some of her stuff i swear by it!!! good luck!!!

[Just Me]

I think you need to decide what the point of giving a consequence to a behaviour is . . . I do agree KR that no child is going to sit in timeout and think about what they have done and I don't think that is unique to one year olds. I don't think this is the purpose of timeout.

Timeout in our house is a behaviour breaker (for her and me) and a way of removing attention from a behaviour that is inappropriate. I started using time out with my DD when she turned one and it was a great way to stop an inappropriate behaviour. When she was very little I had a pillow in the corner of the lounge room and she sat there for a minute. If she got up, I gently put her back on her pillow. Now she has timeout on her bed and I am a big fan of timeout times being a minute for every year of life.

After time out is finished, I try to have something interesting and distracting that my DD can do so that she doesn't revert to the same behaviour.

I don't see it as a rejection and I don't think she does either. Timeout in our house is usually tearfree. DD knows what is happening and understands I am coming back to get her in a very small amount of time. She feels safe and the whole thing is very predictable for her.

We have worked on a system of 2 warnings and then a timeout. The first warning is a rule reminder -we say it as a positive and try and tell her the behaviour that we want to see. Often we will try and distract her with something else when we give her the rule reminder. The second warning is a rule reminder and warning that a consequence is the next step. We again will attempt to distract her. If she does the behaviour again then we move her to timeout. The only behaviour that she doesn't get a warning for are behaviours that hurt others - like hitting, kicking and biting. We are trying to send a very strong message about those behaviours so we give an immediate consequence.

We do also take into account whether there is a more natural consequence (continually jumping on the couch means that we move her off the couch) or if there are other circumstances like her being tired or sick. While I think in the long term she needs to understand how to regulate her own behaviour regardless of these things, but at the moment we are just working on her being able to identify that she is feeling tired or sick and are lenient. We still deter from the inappropriate behaviour, but manage it differently - sometimes by putting her to bed and reading a story if she is sick or tired.

I think with small children it is important to remember that they don't have the complex reasoning to understand that when they are told 'no' to something to think about something else they can do. If you tell them 'no that's hot' but leave them in the same place, it is very difficult for them to change their focus. As parents we need to physically move them away from the thing we want them to stop and demonstrate moving onto something else. They learn by example.

Catherine - I was also thinking about why your DS seems to be doing a lot of these things while you are in the kitchen and it could all come back to attention like I said in my previous post. If he has your undivided attention until it is time for you to do something in the kitchen and then you are giving your attention to other things, that may be why he is escalating in the kitchen so much because he knows you won't be as available to him. I think if this is the case the suggestions I made previously should work as a way for you to give him the attention that he needs, but it was just a thought. Could be completely off the mark, but I thought I would put it out there as something for you to think about anyway.

[amberj]

I just wanted to subscribe to this thread because its got some fantastic ideas and discussion- and I fear the tantrum days may be upcoming for us!!

[kirsty_lee]

can take him to any house and all i have to say is no and move him away and depending on his attitude that day (good ol terrible 2's) he wont touch them!

This is exactly the same as my dd.

[sneakysparkle]

I think with small children it is important to remember that they don't have the complex reasoning to understand that when they are told 'no' to something to think about something else they can do. If you tell them 'no that's hot' but leave them in the same place, it is very difficult for them to change their focus. As parents we need to physically move them away from the thing we want them to stop and demonstrate moving onto something else. They learn by example.

I agree totally - "discipline" for a one year old is more about distraction. If you say "no, dont touch that" then say "here, play with this instead"