thread: Do cuddles = sooky child?

  1. #1
    shazza Guest

    Do cuddles = sooky child?

    Hi
    Yesterday I was given this advice by a friend of mind and would like to know what you think, and from your experience is it true?

    She said: that if I cuddle my boy when he cries, eg her boy was banging mine boy on the head and scared him....a girl stole his biscuit and he cried, that he will become a sook and that I shouldn't cuddle him unless he is really hurt!



    I love my babyand have waited 17 years for a baby, also I can never, ever remember my parents cuddling me so I want to show him he is loved. To me it's just basic instinct to cuddle him. Now I feel guilty #-o

  2. #2
    BellyBelly Member

    Nov 2003
    Newcastle
    754

    hey,
    in my personal opinon NO!! you can cuddle your baby whenever you want! I loved cuddling Joshua and I long for it now and wish I cuddled him more then I did.. if someone was making him cry Id give him a cuddle.. if he was crying because he didnt get his own way then i didnt cuddle him unless he cried for over 15mins then id pick him up and cuddle him..

    in my personal opinon i dont think they would turn out to be a sook if you cuddled him often! he'd probly grow up happy if you keep cuddling him loads then he'll know that hes loved..
    kids are kids and need to be cuddled!

    take care
    Lesley

  3. #3

    Shazza don't believe a word of it. I have always given Kameron lots of cuddles right since birth he gets smothered by everyone. He doesn't come running every time he hurts himself, majority of time he picks himself up whinges a couple of times and goes about with what he was doing.

    I can't cuddle him enough he usually pushes me away LOL.

    It is only natural to want and give your own child cuddles.

    Love :smt049

  4. #4
    shazza Guest

    ahhhh I feel better now thanks I try not to cuddle him if he is only sooking to get his own way....in that case, I try to divert his attention.

    My friend has a 6 year old, who on valentines day we gave a card and a book and guess what? He sulked all day and said that we were mean to him....go figure! Now i'm wondering whether we should even give him a birthday present!

  5. #5
    Jackie Guest

    Hmm, what do you think?
    Will cuddles make your child into a sook?
    I would say NO, especially if he/she is upset. You really can't beat a cuddle, it shows you care, gives your child security and reassurance.
    Gees, i even still need a cuddle now and then

  6. #6
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Oct 2003
    Forestville NSW
    8,944

    Yep I'm with you Jackie. I really feel that children need the reassurance from their parents to build their confidence & security. If they know that they can go to their parents for back up No Matter What, then you have a confident child.

  7. #7
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2004
    Cairns QLD
    5,471

    I agree with the about as well BUT I do know one little boy who is the same age as Evan and just looking at mine & his mothers different techniques for comforting when they fall over etc I think over doing it will make an impact. I tend to Say "Oh up you get" if Evan falls over. "Oh dear" " you're alright" " Come show me" and "Oh let me give it a kiss" when he hurts him self. You can tell a wingy cry for attention to a my leg has just fallen off cry. I will respond according to the need, most times Evan is ok & even if there are a few tears a kiss on the hurt spot always fixes it. Evan even kisses his own hurt bits! He is ok as long as he knows I'm near by if he needs me. Yet this other little boy is the biggest sook out there. If he falls his mothers response is a high pitched "OH KOBY, come here baby". So this kids automatic response is OMG something is terribly wrong & then of course he plays it up. So I do think that you can over do it & end up with a kid who crys at the smallest thing. I say just play be ear and respond according to the need.

  8. #8
    Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

    Jan 2005
    Funky Town, Vic
    7,070

    I agree, a cuddled child is a loved and secure child.

    Had to laugh though when I thought of how many kids I've seen who were frightened half to death by their mothers reaction to a fall, rather than the fall itself!!

  9. #9
    BellyBelly Member

    Jan 2005
    Brisbane
    1,300

    I agree a cuddled baby is a loved and secured child.
    Personally I think you should cuddle your baby when ever you want to, i mean who can resist cuddling up to a baby- not me, i only have to see a baby and want to give him/her a cuddle.
    Take care Leah

  10. #10
    BellyBelly Life Member

    Nov 2003
    1,861

    There's an article on the new main BellyBelly site which you might be interested in. It's in the 'Baby' section of the articles and it's called 'Cuddle Me Mum'. Click HERE to read it.

  11. #11
    BellyBelly Life Member

    Jul 2004
    House of the crazy cat ladies...
    3,793

    I once saw a kid on Dr Phil, who's behaviour was the result of too much cuddling and reassurance...
    But seriously... this kid would have a big whinge and cry every time he had to do anything like ie. putting his shoes on! And his Mum would give him a big cuddle every single time he cried and acted like that... which was really just feeding the problem more and more. But that was a very extreme case.

    I am all for cuddles... I can never give my little boy enough either!!

  12. #12
    Ali Guest

    I agree too...children can NEVER have enough cuddles. The most fantastic moment is when your baby gives you a spontaneous hug for the first time.

    If your bub cries over things like a fall or someone stealing their biscuit, it is often a nice idea to talk about the situation while giving your baby a cuddle. Explain that the other child wanted to share the biscuit and didn't know that it is nice to ask first. You can then distract with a story about how nice it is to share and then bub doesn't get to be a sooky baby but learns about about the experience and interacting with other children.

    I still get tonnes of cuddles from my mum and dad even though I am a very big kid now and I think it is great!