I'm finding that we're parenting our children according to their needs/personality and not their gender. Like my eldest who's just turned eight does like to play with the girls' and their girls toys from time to time (but this is getting less and less frequent simply because he's growing up and his interests are changing) just as the girls love getting out in the dirt and playing with trucks. In fact we brought DD2 a bulldozer for her 4th birthday cause that's what she wanted. I don't care if my girls get dirty - cause it does wash off and many a tomboy-ish girl as a child has grown up to be a very feminine girl, so it's a non issue.

I notice that a few of you are erring towards gender issues when commenting on this - you want girly girls and boyish boys, (and there's nothing wrong with that at all, but its just leading to my next point) but for me, that's got nothing to do with it. What toys children like to play with is insignificant in how they should be parented in my opinion, because it's only play - it's not lifestyle forming kwim? It's a huge part of their development to be exposed to all of that and it helps build and encourage their imaginations and creative sides.

I think their personality defines how they will be as adults. You will have more luck in nurturing a gentle and sensitive boy into a man if he's got that type of personality to start with, otherwise you're trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole - some boys just can't be parented that way kwim? It doesn't mean that they wont ever be caring and nurturing, but it will be a different form. It's hard to explain exactly what I mean by that in words, so I hope you are getting what I'm trying to say. Hmmm for another example, the big gruff burly bloke who is a 'man's man' can still be just as gentle holding his newborn baby and can be just as supportive to his partner as a man who is more gentle by nature. And even me, I was the type of girl who got along better with boys at school, wasn't afraid to get in amongst the rough and tumble, caught tadpoles and went yabbying, and as a teen I wasn't really into the whole girly thing and even now I'm no fashionista - hell I've owned the same handbag for 9 years and I only own 1, yet I'm still a very caring, gentle and nurturing person.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that it's not up to us to define our children by raising them differently/stereoptypically because I don't want them to feel stiffled at all by forcing them to be who they aren't. All we can do is give them the confidence and show them the way.