Very Unsettled Baby

[SSmiles]

Our little guy is 6 weeks old and has spent his whole life very unsettled... He screams for 6 - 9 hours a day (basically whenever he is awake and not on the boob) and he won't go to sleep very easily at all (mostly only when he's fallen asleep on the boob and we very carefully put him into his cot). I'm living on a few hours sleep a day and it's starting to take it's toll... He's sleeping for around 6 - 8 hours per 24 hours.

We've tried everything we've been told/read about...going for walks, drives in the car, rocking, massaging, singing, patting, dummies (which he won't take) etc... I don't know what else to do and I'm going insane. My hubby is great, and takes bubs when he's here but even he is in desperate need of sleep.

I don't know what to do but I would be interested to know if any others are in the same boat? I know 'it will get better' (I've heard/seen that sooooooo many times I'm going to scream) but I'm curious to know if it's 'normal' for a baby to be awake and screaming so much? We know he is over tired to the extreme but it just makes things worse...I think if he would sleep just a bit then he would feel better and sleep easier next time.

I know why there are people out there with only one child...I never understood it before...

[christy]

Sherie *hugs* Matilda at 6 weeks screamed for around 6-8 hours daily. Take her to your GP or a paediatrician and please rule out anything that may be causing it. Speak with your MCHN.

I found out at 6 weeks that Matilda had silent reflux and while it took us 6 weeks to find a proper treatment afterwards, it was so much better knowing that there was a reason for the screaming & crying.

1. How does he feed? How often? Does he sit on the breast fine? Is he unsettled while taking milk?

2. When does the screaming start? When he lays flat?

These are two things that I noticed and took into the GP with me... so I'm not saying he has anything wrong with him, but maybe get him checked out to rule anything out other than being unsettled.

[min]

Sherie, I really sympathise with you because Jackson was a lot like that as a young baby, and unfortunately he hasn't changed that much in that respect. You just learn to cope with it better. Having said that, I was going to post a thread tonight regarding not coping with Jackson and the lack of sleep we are all still getting!

Jackson would have a couple of 45 minute naps during the day, and now I am lucky if I can get him down for 1 1/2 hours during the day. We did have him checked out, and he was perfectly healthy, no one could give us any help or explanations, we tried all of the old wives tale remedies regarding colic and put him on a thickened formula in case of silent reflux, and nothing really seemed to make a difference.

Jackson had a pretty traumatic birth experience, and so did I and I ended up with mild PND, so I think in a way he had a bit of that too IYKWIM, I really think bad birth experiences can affect babies early in life.

I would suggest getting Riley checked out because there could be a good medical reason for his behaviour. Sorry if I wasn't much help

[Baby~amore`]

to you and yes it can be so stressful to have a bub who screams for the majority of the time.You sound like you have tried all avenues and remember you are doing a fanatastic job .

my suggestions are

1. get him checked by a paediatrician maybe for silent reflux - my friends son has this and screamed all the time too except when on the boob or cuddled and was feeding all day/night to ,not sleeping. Since starting on meds last week he has improved dramatically.A general checkup too won't hurt.

2. We took our unsettled bub to a chiropractor (also had reflux) and his neck was also out due to being twin B, squashed and prem.It stopped him being so unsettled but he didn't scream as much as groan and arch his back.It stopped all this.

3.Other mum in the July belly buddies - she took her gorgeous son to an osetopath ... read her story here Babies Born July 2006 #4 - Boisey Jensens mum and here

Let me explain...ever since Jensen was born he would cry! Id feed him and then straight after he would cry, if I didnt bounce him on the fit ball he would cry, Id be lucky if he slept 1 hour during the day and he would wake every hour on the hour at night!!! Needless to say I was going crazy!!!! As I could never put him down or be away from him...and then things just got worse ...it went from crying to screaming almost 24 hours a day!!! It was about 7 days ago when I called my Mum balling my eyes out telling her I was going totally crazy and that I couldnt do this!! ANd poor Rob was in syd for work...anyway Mum insisted that I take Jensen to an Osteopath ...which I did...who looked Jensen over with a fine tooth comb and said that he had a very sore neck and lower back due to the dreadful birth he had with the forceps and very long labour...Anyway after seeing my Miracle Osteopath 3 times now and him using very gentle massage...I now have a new happy, smiling and gurgling and SLEEPING little boy!! Its a bloody MIRACLE!!!!!!! LOL!!!!And with that I now have my sanity back!!!
Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
Id have to say that the last 7 weeks have been total hell for me and Jensen and now its like I have different happy little baby....

4. see your ECHN and ask about Trescillian type placement because they can help or call the TRESCILLIAN help line 1800 637 357 outside Sydney.

5. Do you wrap him ?

[shellbell3]

Have you tried one of those baby hammocks? You can hire them and the babies own weight causes them to rock. A friend of ours had a screaming baby and they found this is the only thing that settled there little one.
As mentioned already though prolly best to get dr to check them out first to rule out anything medically.

[christy]

We've bought a hammock this time around because I didn't think I could tolerate it with another very unsettled baby. I think they are fantastic for unsettled babies & they are used in hospitals for newborns who are addicted to heroine and severe reflux cases so they must help their little bodies settle.

[Megan]

Sherie, I hope Riley is ok and you get some much needed sleep soon! Sorry I don't have any advice for you, but I think the hammocks look like a good idea as he would be able to hopefully settle/rock himself to sleep. Does the council hire out anything like that? If not, I'm sure there would be another hire place that does so you could test it out.

[~Kim~]

Sherie, you get plenty of sympathy from me too. Darcy only averaged about 5 in 24, so I hear ya!
Best thing we bought was a baby bjorn. There's plenty of different types out there but that worked for us. At least then I could get stuff done because the more active I was the better she slept. She has silent reflux too and it's still out to get me to this day I'm sure.
Have you got someone who understands who can just take him for a couple of hours? I found that helped me not lose my mind.

[SSmiles]

Thanks girls! I have a doctors appointment on Monday so hopefully he can give me some help.

Christy - Riley feeds very well...or so the nurses say. He is attaching well most of the time but occasionally he is unsettled when feeding (as if he's in pain). The screaming happens whether laying down or sitting up, or over our shoulders or bascially any position.

Trish - Yep, we do wrap Riley, although he HATES it...he screams as soon as he gets put on the wrap to be wrapped up and fights it as soon as he is wrapped. We've also tried sleeping bags instead but he doesn't like those either.

Shellbell - Nope, we haven't tried a hammock but I must investigate that idea...a few people have said they loved them.

Megan - Thanks for the support! I'm not sure about Council hiring out stuff...I'll get hubby to check when he goes to work on Monday.

Kim - Yep, I've got some friends who are going to come and look after Riley for a couple of hours for a couple of days next week to give me a break... And hubby gave me a 6 hour break last night...ahhhh...

Thanks again girls! I hope it will get better for us and also for you girls in similar situations soon...

[enigma]

Hi Sherie
I really sympathize with you , Aneta had a crying " spurt " for about a week when she was 6 weeks old , and during that week I made my decision that I dont want anymore kids.
One of the girl on here suggested we try INFACOL wind drops ( even though Aneta was burping and farting like a pro ). As soon as the drops started working , we had a new baby - i was in shock.
She is 4 months old now , and we still give her the drops before every feed.. the only crying we hear is when she is hungry or tired... so maybe it might be something to do with that?
Another thing we used is a fitness ball. We used to hold Aneta , sit on the ball and bounce lightly up and down. This ALWAYS settled her and put her to sleep. Having said that, we also had to wean her off the ball, because she got so used to it she would only settle there.
I wish I could offer more advice! I hope the dr. finds some solutions for you soon.. good luck and hang in there When Aneta was having her "episodes" i used to tell myself that there are people out there with very sick babies who would give anything to hear their babies cry

[*Rae*]

Yeah i was going to say that your bub sounds very similar to what Ella was like when she had reflux. We also saw an osteopath and he worked miracles - within a couple months...we began to see a big change after only a few sessions - she was a completely different, settled and very happy baby (and she even began to sleep through the night!!!!)
Oh -and on the dummy note do you use the big cherry style teat ones as Ella will not take the small, flatter orthedontic ones as they were too differently shaped to a nipple. Ella would only have the cherry style ones. Just a thought?????
I really hope you find something to help both you guys and bubs out....it's definately not easy when you've an unhappy bub

[Cee_Cee99]

Firstly, I would like to say huge HUGS to you, it is nothing you are doing wrong.

I was in a similar position, Ally would scream till 2am every night and all day unless she was on the boob - I thought it was normal, till my sister visited at 7 weeks and said that her babies did not cry all day and all night - and that something was wrong with my baby... So I read some books and "Sleeping like a baby" recommended a hammock. (We had tried everything else, wrapping, rocking, sling, etc..)

We constructed the hammock at 10.30am, at 10.32 she was asleep and sleept for 2 hours.. We were gob smacked, she had NEVER slept for more than 30mins during the day and it normally took 2+ hours of crying first.

Our lives changed from that moment on..

As soon as she had been awake for one hour, I would put her in the hammock and rock it, and within minutes she would fall asleep and wake up happy... The poor little tyke was just over tired.

I can't belive that I nearly went to the Emergency room at 2am as she had been awake and screaming since 5pm...

I highly recommend the hammock - and recognising the tired signs...it changed our lives.

Good luck honey.

[BellyBelly]

Have you tried a Hug-A-Bub - Elijah would sleep in his during the day and I could snooze with it on too, although tended to get more done because I could, with hands free! I find that many 'velcro' babies love slings as they can be with you close and feel tight, safe and secure. You might like to try reading some good books on the topic, any of Pinky's books, 'Sleeping Like a Baby' or '100 Ways to Calm the Crying,' are brilliant. There are also some great articles on the main site about babies and sleep, including Pinky's 'Velcro Baby' which I could soooo relate to.

Unfortunately nothing worked for me with Marisa, including two weeks at sleep school which made things worse for both of us. I just think some babies have these personalities and they carry through into adulthood. Marisa stopped sleeping through the day (well what little sleep she was doing at a time!) just before her 1st birthday. She also wasn't sleeping through the night so it was a very tough time. Pinky has a son who was the same and even to this day as a grown up, he operates without very much sleep and is ready for the day.

I think its all about support, learning sleep cues, learning about your own baby which can take time and getting time out for you. Of course try the suggestions above, and get the check-up with the GP - but also be prepared that everything could be okay and it'll mean starting to think about whats next. Make yourself a plan of what you can do any try if the GP comes up all clear. Motherhood is tough and don't feel bad asking for or needing help from others. Once upon a time all the help we needed were right there with us. But now we are more isolated and unsupported as ever and its very tough.

[Beckibee]

Sherie, is there anything in your diet that you think could be unsettling him? Just a thought...

[MelH]

Hi Sherie,

I hope things get better for you soon. I know too well what you are going through. We also had a screaming baby for about 6 weeks and didn't know why. Is your bub putting on weight ok? It wasn't until we realised that DS wasn't putting on weight properly that we realised our problem was the milk. I hired a private lactation consultant and was told that we were doing everything fine. DS fed for an hour at a time but screamed the entire time in between. I still don't really know why he couldn't get the milk but after trying everything we started giving him forumula (against all recommendations not to)

He eventually started putting on weight and once he caught up he turned into the perfect baby. The poor little guy had been starving and we didn't realise. I was also told to give him tiny amounts of formula and he would scream for more. It seemed that for awhile he needed more than what was recommended and eventually he cut back to what they had told me (After he put on a heap of weight).

I'm not sure this is the same problem you are having but I figured it couldn't hurt to mention it. I learnt a lot from the experience too. I think sometimes you need to trust your gut instinct rather than some of the advice you are given. You are the one that is with bub 24x7 and there is so much different advice out there and each bub is different.

I hope with all the differernt advice you are able to find something that works for you. It really is a much more enjoyable experience once bub, Mum and Dad are getting some sleep.

[skorpy]

Kai is 6 weeks on Thursday,and he has become very restless.During the day,he doesnt seep half as much,and I though newborns did nothing but sleep lol.My other 2 did.He has a feed and after 3 ounces starts to fall asleep,and I have trouble getting him to drink the rest.So then I settle him down for a sleep and after 10 minutes he wakes.Obviously after an hour the milk should be thrown.So he wants more and I am having to get a fresh bottle for the sake of 2 more ounces.Most of the time though he wants feeds every 2 hours and its a nightmare.Im sure they usually have a sleep 3 to 4 hours inbetween.Luckily by 11pm after his last feed before we all go too bed he settles in his moses basket and I sometimes get 3 to 4 hours sleep inbetween feeds.Lastnight was the best..Fed him at 12am and he woke at 5.30am and then again at 8am with my 3 year old daughter.I recommend giving them a bath and then milk,it settles them right down.

[ShootingStar]

Oh Sheree you poor pet. It seems another thing our lil ones have in common.
Jesse was like that for the first 2 weeks of his life. I was constantly in tears as i had hardly no sleep either and all he would do when i held him was search for my boob and otherwise cry. Even a couple of times he would scream and cry while trying to get onto the breast. It wasnt that he couldnt attach, he could do that easily with no help.. it was as if when he got on nothing or not much was coming out, so he'd pull him self off then re-attach and suck and do the same thing and cry inbetween. I felt so sad for the little guy, he just looked so frustraited. One night i just had enough and asked DH to go out and get some formula. Jesse then slept for 6 hours. We started giving him a formula feed before his sleep at night and that worked for the night time but during the day he was back to the same crying baby. In the end i gave up and we switched him to forumla. He now sleeps from 9.30pm-5am at night, has regular naps during the day for around 1-2 hours at a time, also has play time where he talks and "goos" and smiles, is so much more happier inbetween feeds and can put himself to sleep when put in the cot. I was all for breatfeeding and wanted to breastfeed him until he was 6 months but it just didnt seem to work for us i guess.. but who knows it may for my second baby.
I dont want to be the one to say Riley would be better if he was bottlefed, but for myself and Jesse im glad there are other options out there. Both me, my brother and sister were all bottlefed and we turn out perfectly fine. Even though the motto is suppose to be "breast is best".. sometimes it just isnt

[CaughtGypsy]

Sheree, I can empathise with you. Know that you are not alone. I would recommend the previous suggestions of visiting an osteopath or chiropractor. Mine was hell for three weeks until mum virtually dragged me to a chiro. He slept on the way home in the car and I cried the whole way - from relief! Now that chiro is my hero!

Just a word of caution - their are dodgy chiros out there: check their credentials and make sure they are specialists for kids. My next bub will stop there on the way home from the hospital!