Ears that stick out???

[LionsandBears]

She's adorable.

How about waiting to see if they are an issue for her? She may not get teased. She may get teased and learn how to deal with it. Or she may ask for something to be done herself.

I had severely buck teeth as a child which I was teased about. I eventually had a lot of orthodontic surgery as an adult to correct my jaw, but it was something I physically needed doing. My confidence improved once it was done and my profile changed and I no longer hid my face in my hands. I could also properly eat thing I hadn't been able to previously.

I don't have issues with cosmetic correction. I do think if you focus on an imagined flaw, you can create a problem where there may not be one. Right now, does Harriet have a problem with her ears? If not, I'd say leave them alone. She gloriously beautiful as she is.

ETA - was your DH teased as a child? Or teased others? I ask because I think if you were badly teased as a child, then you are very conscious of protecting your baby from that happening to them. I do think being able to handle teasing is a confidence thing. If you dont care what people say about you, life is so much easier.

[nickle730]

What a gorgeous little girl!

Epacris, she does have quite prominent ears. Personally, I'd be inclined to leave them be until (if) she starts to complain about them herself. But if your DH is concerned, I don't think there is any harm in having a consultation with a plastic surgeon to discuss the procedure (ahhhh... I can't remember the name!!) oh... otoplasty??? Anyway, why don't you all go see a plastic surgeon (get a personal recommendation if you can) and get his/her opinion on a) whether the procedure 'needs' to be done and b) what age is best to do it, if you decide that you want to.

I think she looks quite perfect just the way she is!

[Nai]

What if you get it done and she hates it? You can't reverse it. I think it's like any other enhancing surgery - wait until she is old enough to decide what she wants to do with her body. They are her ears after all. Maybe suggets to your DH that it is your job as parents to love her just the way she is and help her also love herself in that way. IF she has an issue with her ear when she gets older then start to discuss the prospect of surgery. I personally don't think it is your job as parents to protect her from the world but to teach her and enable her to deal with the world in her own way.

[Aligater]

She isso sweet and if they were pinned back most likely kids been kids will find something else to tease about you cant escape teasing unless you are the bully

[SunnyRain]

Honestly, I think she looks gorgeous and they're just ears. Ear pinning is plastic surgery, remember, would you get her nose sculpted if it was a bit big?

I personally think it's the quirks that make us interesting. Think about Jennifer grey (dirty dancing). She had plastic surgery on her nose and lost what made her stand out in Hollywood. She says she has regretted it ever since.


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Jude 07/10/2008 | Lilac 16/06/2011

[Mum2twoBoys]

my dh has sticky out ears as a kid, really bad, thought my son might get them but they dont stick out anywhere near as much as his dads. but my dh has grown into them and i dont think they look that big or stick out. his brother still goes on about them but hey i think they have to pick at something. but they were definately worse when he was a kid. and he has a crew cut now. so dont despair. she is still young enough for things to change a lot.

on another note i think she is absolutely gorgeous and that they add to her character. honestly they arent that bad. she is a little cutey and looks like a happy child so why change that. wait until she decides what she wants done.

[Mumma T]

I was a kid with a sticky out ear. To be honest as a small kid I didn't know or care, but by about the age of 8 though I hated it. I begged my dad for 5 years to have it pinned back before he finally agreed. I was so happy with how it turned out. The actual surgery wasn't too bad but as a kid that had never had anything like that done before It seemed painful.

Honestly I would leave it for now and if she mentions it in the future that she wants it done then I would let her get it done. But before that I wouldn't bother. I do agree with your DH though that it can be emotionally scarring. I was teased - mostly by my siblings and it's still a sore point with me.
That's my opinion anyway.

[Rouge]

I would be suggesting DH sit down and talk about his own demons that are causing these fears, because she is gorgeous But that's the just me... always wanting to talk everything out

Like others if she asks or is upset by it then you can do something, until then I wouldn't worry xx

[*Efjay*]

To me it looks like she will grow into them. Unless there is a medical reason to do so, I would leave them alone.

[Jennifer13]

Epacris, your DH needs to get over the idea that she doesn't look as good as she should. She's a wonderful little girl and her appearance (which is completely adorable, not that that's the point) is only part of the package.

Does he really think he's gotten to where he is today because of his dashing good looks? Or that he was held back in life somehow because of the way he looked?

Teaching any child, particularly a girl in our society, that they should be concerned about something that is a natural feature (and not in any way impeding them physically) at such a young age has much bigger repercussions than what a few shallow children in the school ground tease her about! And btw, i think your DD is pretty self-assured and sociable and can't see her being picked on any more than the kid whose ears are any different.

And I would also tell him not to talk about her like this when she's around. She's a smart kid and she'll know Daddy thinks her ears don't look 'perfect' (even though they're perfect for her).

For some reason my DP has this thing about whether our next DD won't look as 'pretty' as DD1. Maybe it's a male thing, wanting his daughter to have an easy time and seeing appearance as something that helps that?

[Rouge]

Awesome post Jen.

[Epacris]

Thank you all so much for your extremely well considered replies. You have given me lots to think about and talk about with DH.

Charlotte- I know exactly what you mean about her head growing into her ears. I look at baby photos of me and my ears were huge compared to the size of my head. My ears are still large but they fit my head much better now. Mine don’t stick out as much as her’s do though.

Onyx – Thanks.

Heaven – She is such an imp, so yes, I think they suit her too.

L&B – I don’t know if DH was bullied as a child. I assume not, but maybe I should specifically ask him and ask if anything he has experienced is clouding his judgement about DD’s ears. I too don’t have any problems with cosmetic correction. If it was a prominent, unusual/abnormal mark or growth I think that would be different. But they’re her ears and IMO they still well within the realms of normal. She definitely doesn’t have a problem with them at all, she is totally unaware of them being anything other than just her ears. Thanks for sharing your experience.

Nickel – thanks for that suggestion. I think we’ll start with our GP (who is also a paediatrician). DD has her 3 year bluebook check coming up soon. I’m sure we’ll all be able to have a good chat about the whole thing.

Nai – Yes, I totally agree, what if she thinks we took it upon ourselves to change her character (and not for the better). And I totally agree with your outlook on parenting too, but there just seems to be something about DH wanting to “protect” DD. I actually think our DS1 is more emotionally fragile and that he is more in need of our protection and refuge. DD can more than hold her own with anyone.

Aligater – Thanks. But Hmmm.... I think bullies have their own issues (that also need addressing) don’t they. Life can be a hard road for bullies (and their parents) too.

Kuraiza – That is a very interesting point about Jennifer Grey (I remember her well) and her nose.

Bskilner – Thanks.

BubbaT – Thanks so much for sharing your personal experience of this. I’m so sorry that you still feel hurt. Could you talk to your siblings about how you feel? Do you think that aspect of your experience could have been “managed” better by your parents or others?

Rouge – Thanks.

FJ – Thanks.

Jen – Ahh what a great post and great advice. I’m LOLing at my DH’s dashing good looks getting him to where he is today. And I really appreciate the point you make about little girls and beauty in our society. And I’m sure your DD2 will be just as pretty as your DD1.... and in her own unique way.

[Miss.B]

Hey hun, I think she's adorable and your DH is paranoid! Our DS has daddy's ears which are huge but soooooooo cute I would never touch them

He also has two toes next to his big toe (on both feet) that are slightly webbed (not all the way, just half way) . I noticed this straight away when he was born, but the doc said it's genetic and someone in the family would have had them, and that it won't cause him any probs. My DF is worried that he'll get picked on at school (I don't think it's THAT bad) but I just can't stand the thought of him having the op. on both his feet just to separate his toes. If he grows up paranoid or not liking them, we can give him the option to fix it I guess......

[Jennifer13]

I would never have noticed that you had bigger than average ears!!

Makes it even less of an issue!

[SunnyRain]

Miss b. My sister has those same toes. She's never had any problems in life. No one notices.

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Jude 07/10/2008 | Lilac 16/06/2011

[Mumma T]

BubbaT – Thanks so much for sharing your personal experience of this. I’m so sorry that you still feel hurt. Could you talk to your siblings about how you feel? Do you think that aspect of your experience could have been “managed” better by your parents or others?

Thanks, It's not something that I would bring up with my siblings now. I honestly don't think it could have been managed better in our case, thats not to say it couldn't be done.

[Beach Mama]

My sister has lived all her life hating her sticky out ears, would never wear her hair out and then when her DD2 was born and had the same ears she vowed she wouldn't see her go through the same thing. At age 7-8 she had them pinned, day procedure and all went beautifully. They were also able to claim alot on Medicare. Niece is now 16 and I don't think she even thinks about but my sister is glad she did it at a young age.

Good luck deciding what to do, it is so hard with littlelies and wanting to protect them from hurt and teasing. xoxox

[Eenee]

She is gorgeous! And I say only if they become an issue for her do something about it but for now they're fine and she is cute!