at times, i find it almost depressing to have a FTT baby, as, like you said katanya, you feel like you have failed.
Quite honestly Kristi the FTT issue have been the most difficult aspect of his health, I just fell apart after the NGT, I had anxiety attacks and just couldn't keep it together anymore..we're doing okay again now and I am learning not to blame myself, but I really question EVERYTHING I had decide about him, and of course had to defend my choices to everyone too.
It's funny because when he was gaining so much, everyone was saying "og you are such a great mother" because he was so fat on my breastmilk..then when he didn't gain, they stopped saying it..so I kind of felt what they weren't saying..that I now was a bad mother because I couldn't help my child grow..

I used to get very jealous of chubby babies (stil occasionally have the chubby baby envy attack ) and just didn't know what to do..I now just love my skinny guy (he is actually reasonably tall so looks very skinny not just tiny) and think, well hey he'll never see the inside of an obsesity clinic!