thread: Finding out the sex, secretly??

  1. #1
    BellyBelly Member

    Mar 2005
    Limestone Coast, SA

    Finding out the sex, secretly??

    I have a dilemma, and was wondering if you had any ideas of how I could do this.

    I really want to find out the sex of our baby at the 20 week scan, but DH definately wants a surprise and doesn't want me to know because then he might cave and get me to tell him when he really wants a surprise.

    Is there any way that i could secretly find out at the scan with out DH knowing that I know (DH will be at the u/s with me)

  2. #2
    Breastfeeding mummy extraordinaire

    Sep 2004
    Sydney's Norwest

    When I had my ultrasound with Noah I was taken in first by myself to do all of the measurements and stuff. I asked the lady to tell me then before Mark came in as he didn't want to know. And she did. When Mark did come into the room he asked if we could tell and the lady told him we hadn't seen

    Of course I might've been just lucky that day. Maybe you could call the place where you are having your scan done at to arrange it beforehand on the sly.

    The other alternative is that you be upfront and tell him that you really want to find out and if he doesn't want to know then you don't have to tell him.

    Take care

  3. #3
    BellyBelly Member

    Sep 2004
    Inner West, Sydney

    As just mentioned DH and I didnt want to find out the sex of Hendy until his birth and we didnt officially. But i had to have a further scan at 28 weeks as Hendy was measuring big and while i didnt see anything (as i was lying on my side facing away from the screen, cause he was too heavy to lie on my back) DH was really upset as he was sure that he saw a penis, and even though it was a suprise at the birth DH was right, our son had obviously flashed himself!!

    Maybe you could call prior to the scan and explain your predicament, im sure they deal with this sort of thing all the time!

  4. #4
    Ex adm!n, quietly rusting....

    Feb 2004

    One of our members secretly found out what sex her baby was & didn't tell her DH for the entire pregnancy!! I still think he doesn't know about it to this day!

    I think it would be a very tough thing to hide.

  5. #5
    Pietta Guest

    Out of interest we were told Ryley was a girl at our 20 week scan!! LOL

    I was desperatly wanting to find out but he kept himself pretty hidden and they said that it was like 70% that he was a girl!!

    On keeping it a secret... I agree just ring prior!!

  6. #6
    BellyBelly Member

    Mar 2005
    Limestone Coast, SA

    Thankyou so much for your replys

    I still have 10 weeks to work out what I'm gonna do, I have an OB appointment tomorrow which I'm going to by myself so maybe I'll ask her what she thinks i should do.

    I agree that secretly knowing would be a very hard thing, but i don't think that I can wait another 30 weeks to find out! maybe i'll talk to DH about it again in a couple of months, maybe he will change his mind or convince me otherwise

  7. #7
    Sun Nymph Guest

    Maybe you could get them to write it on a piece of paper for you.

    Good luck,

  8. #8
    mooshie Guest

    my dh did not want to know the sex when we had lani, i needed to know to deal with a few issues i was having.

    anyway he couldn't get to the ultrasound and my mum and i were told we were having a girl (i needed someone to know so i could have someone to lean on during the hard times - so mum was great) my dh knew i knew and he didn't mind, i told him i would tell him if he wanted but he was adamanent he didn't want to know. most people knew that i knew and it was great to hear them all guessing the sex etc with the old wives tales. my ds was 4 at the time and he knew what we were having (he used to help me buy clothes for the new baby) he would tell dh not to look in the drawer cause he would see what colour our baby was lol.

    i have heard of a few people asking the sonographer to write down on a piece of paper what they are having and they open it when they want to -maybe you could tell them that when you make the appt. also your ob will have all the results of the ultrasound so you could ask him/her at your appt.

    good lcuk

  9. #9
    BellyBelly Member

    Feb 2004

    DH and I asked the sonographer to write it on a piece of paper so we could open it up together later. It was a great way to find out.

  10. #10
    Debbie Lee Guest

    Hey Widdly,
    I had the same dilemma as you when I was pregnant with Gabby. Neil refused to even consider finding out the sex (he reckons it makes the birth a non-event :roll: ). As much as I tried to put my feelings aside, I really wanted to know. I had always said that I would find out the sex of my babies during pregnancy. Also, we don't have a lot of money so I wanted to know whether to concentrate on pink or blue.
    Annnnyyway, with our first ultrasound, we did the same as Nell - we asked the sonographer to write the sex on a piece of paper. I had discussed it with Neil. I wanted to put it in an envelope and decide later if I wanted to have a look.
    We had heard that at Geelong hospital, they have a policy that if only one of a couple wants to know the sex, they don't divulge so we thought the note on the paper would be a way around it.
    We had a really grumpy sonographer and he said "You guys just want to do this because only one of you wants to know!". He was right, but how dare he presume! He outright refused. He said that it's a policy of his not to write anything down. Honestly!
    I accepted that I wasn't going to find out and he continued with the ultrasound. The baby wasn't in the right position to get the view of the heart that he wanted so he said I would need another ultrasound in another few weeks.
    I ended up going to the second ultrasound on my own. Neil couldn't really ask for another morning off work and I figured it would just be a quick one anyway.
    I ended up getting the same grumpy sonographer and he was still dry and unapproachable but I thought I would ask anyway. "I'd like to find out the sex of the baby this time, please".
    He said, "Let's see what the baby is doing first, shall we?".
    He did the heart stuff first and then checked out the baby's bits. He said, "It looks like a girl".
    So, there you go! I found out what we were having.
    I decided not to tell Neil that I even knew. A few people said I was being deceptive but I didn't see it that way. Neil really didn't want to know. His wish was for it to be a surprise. Had he known that I already knew, he might have picked up "girl" vibes. As much as I was really careful not to give anything away, who knows what I might have said unconciously? Because he didn't even know that I knew, if I let a "she" slip, I would just say "he" next time.
    I told my sisters and 2 close friends that I was having a girl. This way I had a few people that I didn't have to be "careful" around. It definitely helped. Oh... and people on Belly Belly knew too
    Neil still doesn't know that I knew - but only because I don't see the point in telling him. If he asks me, I will tell him. I doubt he will be upset with me - if anything, he will probably be happy that I didn't let it slip and ruin the surprise for him.

    If we have another baby, we plan on finding out the sex but not telling anyone. HTH!

  11. #11
    Ex adm!n, quietly rusting....

    Feb 2004

    LOL Deb, now which member was I talking about :-k