karina that is exactly how i would have felt, you poor thing, there is nothing worse... i bet now you think, with your second, how different you will be right? i know i think now when i have another i wont give a dam about offending anyone, if i want my baby i will demand my baby and if i dont feel like giving her to someone to hold i will just say it.... ive actually gone as far to already say that i will take visitors on the first day in hospital, but after that strictly NO VISITORS, except my DP and DD... (oh i am nowhere near trying to conceive, just getting in early!!)

the thing is, you imagine yourself being so relaxed, but when your baby comes along its amazing how people take over, and being a first time mum you don't seem to have the confidence to tell people 'NO'.... or to put your foot down and say no, the four year olds aren't holding her, and no, she's tired now give her back etc..... that was a huge shock to me, that i suddenly felt powerless around all these 'experienced' well meaning people that have no idea how much they stood on your toes. of course i'd probably say it a bit politer than that, but stern nonetheless. oh the second time round things are going to be so different!! :-)
ooops thread hijack, sorry...... at least you are getting some real insights though, hehe.