If it is family, then definately. Lindsay was not yet 2 when my nan passed away and he went to both the service and the burial. I think it gives them a better understanding of the concept of death being final and it also gives them a chance to say goodbye. All of Nan's grandkids had a single white rose each to place on the coffin as it was being lowered and Lindsay put his on there and said goodbye and it broke your heart to see it but he felt so important doing it.

I think being close family that she will be shielded from the grief of the other mourners by being at the front of the church kwim? Besides, 4yo's are more attuned to things than you think they are and I think you have to give them credit for that.