Sorry hun, I don't have any suggestions......my DS pulls my hair all the time except I let him and now I'm thinking this might lead to a bad habit
I love your way of describing the other child/person as a 'victim'
Maybe try pulling her hair a little???? Not to hurt her or anything.... Once my DS bit on my finger angrily (lucky he has no teeth yet but it hurt nonetheless....) so I bit him back and he didn't do it again.
I hope someone can help........GL!