Help!.. Feed and sleeping routine nearly 5 mth old...

[Beach Mama]

This could be long and rambling so bear with me!

Izzy 4 and half months (almost). From 6 weeks she was sleeping from 7 at night for up to 6 hours and from 8 weeks she was sleeping anywhere from 8-11 hours a night - increasing as she got older. She was self settling for her day sleeps as well, sleeping for one hour and up for an hour and a half. The only time she would feed to sleep would occasionally be her 7pm before bed feed.
Until she hit 3 months.

Since then it has become progressively worse - she is waking up to 3 times a night to feed most nights(goes straight back to sleep thank goodness) and most day sleeps - she simply will not self settle, she will cry until I feed her to sleep. Today I tried comforting, patting, singing for 30 mins and she just ended up on the boob again - mainly because I can see how damn tired she is and just want her to get a rest.
Normally at night she will feed and go to bed no worries, the last few nights have been sketchy and then last night it took one hour to settle her - shes never been like this since she was born.

Her feeding has become erratic - often kicking, scratching etc and not feeding all that well -Ive stopped persisting with that though and just try again in half an hour. (I wonder if she is getting alot at night and therefore doesnt need it during the day?)
So a few questions

1# I still have her in a up for hour and a half then nap routine - should she be up for longer now that she is older?

2# How many hours between feeds should I be up to now?? I thought 3 hours - she occasionally will make it that long but recently its been every hour and a half to 2 hours which I mentally and physically cant sustain. (although some of those have been those muck around feeds I mentioned.)

3# Shes generally also been very clingy - so I wonder about separation anxiety too - although I really think its too early for that. Could it all be related to her lack of routine and pattern recently?

4# Teeth? I cant feel anything, although she gets the pink cheeks every few days for an hour or so and drools alot (what baby doesnt?) If so what can I do to help?

Can you tell Im just about beside myself with what to do?? Ive got tears running down my face because I have a million questions in my head and wonder if Im doing something wrong that has thrown this little angel for a loop. (Also the control freak in me that wants to fix it now , yes I still have my sense of humour through the tears!)

Any advice or stories of experience would really help right now.

[Charlyfrog]

Teething isn't out of the question at this age!

Growth spurts can make for an increase in how much bubby wants to eat so if your little one has gone from sleeping through the night to waking consistently and the only thing that settles is feeding, this could be why. I am no expert, even though am onto DD#2 these are just thoughts.

Would you be happy to feed 2&1/2 - 3hourly for a couple of days to even a week or so until your little one is back to sleeping through the night and you are consistently finding that she is starting to sleep pass the 3hour mark??
It's just a thought - my DD#2 will be 16weeks this Thursday and she feeds on a 3&1/2 - 4hour routine, but this has only come into play in the last 10days or so.

Every bubby is different re: wake time. Sometimes, my DD is up for a whole 1hr&1/2 from the start of the feed to nap time and sometimes she barely makes it to the hour mark....you could experiment with actually cutting down your little ones awake time by 15mins to begin with and see if it might simply be over stimulation, therefore overtired.

Again, these are just my thoughts and what I have done with both my girls but I know it doesn't necessarily work for all bubbies and mums - it can be trial and error.

My latest thing was cutting back on how long the feeds went for because DD#2 became quite chucky and fidgety and kept pulling off etc. Now she feeds between 8-10mins per side and then she's done.

It could be really helpful to contact someone from ABA as well. You are doing a great job sweety!! This is just your bubby being a bubby ok?? It's great that you are seeking help and support - don't stop and ask all million questions if you need to!!! Sending you hugs lovely! So like I said, just my thoughts but hth even a little bit!!

[dueinfeb]

Hang in there!!!
My little boy is just gone 5 months and the similarities between him and Izzy are incredible. From about 4 months he just changed his routine totally - sleeping, feeding, feeding to sleep. I felt like i'd regressed totally with hime. I didn't bother too much with trying to rectify it until a few days ago (mainly because we've been really busy!) and as soon as he hit 5 months he's just "changed" again. Sleeping through again, settles himself (which he's never been brilliant at doing) and his daytime sleeps have gone back to normal. He still fluctuates a bit and we're not on a strict routine, but his tired signs seem heaps more obvious now. It's like they've reappeared, which makes it much easier for me to follow iykwim. So my advice would be try and hang in there and just do whatever gets you through...probably not much help, but I find its a little more comforting if you know others are going through it.

[Beach Mama]

Well going with the flow will have to be the solution I think. Last night was the worst yet... up 3 times and when she would normally feed and go back to sleep she wouldnt - I had to hold her hand and say shhshhshh to get her to fall asleep. She just did the same thing for her nap - I had to sit net to her and she held my hand for 5 minutes before her eyes wouldnt hold up anymore.

I would be happy to feed her 2 1/2 -3 hourly but she seems to fuss alot at the breast like she isnt even hungry so I wonder if I should go to 3 /1/2 -4 hours? That would make it roughly 7 feeds a day? Not sure if thats right for her age - might have to dig up my BabyLove book.
Grrrr its so hard trying to figure it all out, and in the middle of the night it all seems a billion times worse Lots of tears from us both.

[krysalyss]

Hi 76. Well Iggy is 5.5 months and we have had almost exactly the same thing going on here. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. We have incorporated some changes and things are now going really well. I was so close to losing it but now everything is just soo much better.
Of course Izzy is different so some of this might work and some might not but...
Our problems: a habit of rocking to sleep, scratching at face and leg kicking, feeding every three hours (24 hours a day), no self settling, waking at 4:30-5am.

Our solutions:
- We gave up wrapping and just used sock on his hands. He learned pretty quickly not to scratch (about 1 week) when he had been scratching for months. Also learned just to let him kick as he is becoming more mobile and active (as long as he is happy). We just dress him so he will be warm all night and don't use any blankets or wraps.
- Pushed back his day sleeps - now awake at least 2-2.5 hours before day naps. He isn't cat napping during the day but having at least 30mins - 2 hours. If he is looking tired earlier we just do some quiet play.
- Routine feeding and introduced solids (a bit early but he was so ready - approved by our doctor).
- At nap time we would pop him in a cot with his dummy and a blanky. If he cried, we would rock until calm and then put him back in when he was calm and sleepy but still awake. If he cried again we picked him up and repeated the process but if he just groaned a bit (which he does when he is settling and isn't upset or distressed) we just stayed close in the room folding clothes etc or walked quietly in and out of the room. After a week we now dont have to rock him at all.
- Over night we have dropped one feed. The one he was more likely to give up, we just give him the dummy and blanky and he goes back to sleep (he sleeps in a cot next to our bed). Our plan was to comfort him without feeding if he cried but actually he hasnt needed to do that. Maybe because he has been practicing self settling for about a week? Also he is really big for his age. I wouldnt drop a feed if I was worried about his weight.
- We incorporated a bedtime routine. This starts around 6:45. We say good night to all of the rooms and people, change nappy and wash face and hands ( we dont bath everyday because of his eczema) and then he goes in his cot with dummy and blanky. I tell him a bedtime story (without a book cos he just wants to eat those and gets hyped up). Then lights off and a lullaby. Then he pretty much just goes to sleep. Soooo different to before.
- We started setting the alarm for the morning. We started at a time he was likely to be ok with (5am) and have worked it back to 5:30 or 6 depending on the morning. We ignore him till the alarm goes off then give him a big good morning and some bed hugs. If we can hear him getting a bit bored and worked up we just sneakily bring the alarm forward so it goes off sooner.
Best of all - we did this all without crying! (on his or my part) and stayed true to our beliefs of comfort parenting.
The most important thing is if you decide to do anything that you have to be consistent. This things usually take a little while to change and if you give up on the third day or so the bub gets confused.

I hope this all helps. I know exactly how you are feeling. Also remember that positive parenting doesn't mean you have to just put up with things. It just means you have to look at positive ways to change the situation. Five - six months is an ok time to start thinking about these things.

[MrsFabuloso]

Tan, I hear you...we were up at 4.30 this morning and no amount of settling, bottle or boobie would get her back to sleep. I put her into the cot and let her roll about. She got stuck on her tummy about four times and I had to get up and turn her over anyway, so I should have just gotten up, but 4.30- that's just rediculous!!! I thought 5.00 was wrong but 4.30 is waaaayyy worse!

Her feeding has also been more erratic and I just offer her a feed now all day when she used to feed 3 hrly like clock work. Last week she was really fussy on the breast and I nearly gave up completely (she's 1/2 bf, 1/2 ff) thankfully I didn't because now she's fine and loving it again.

In the last few weeks her sleep routine has changed drastically too. She used to sleep 7.30/8ish until about 3.30/4 and then be up at 6.30 for the day. Now we're up 2-3 times a night at least, bed time is 7/7.30ish usually and wake up time has been 5/5.30. She teased me the other night with a 7.30 bed time, 4am bottle and 7.15 morning wake up, but there was no repeat performance of that.

I think she is going through a growth spurt though. She has just recently learnt to roll properly in the past two weeks or so and she's 'talking' alot and giggling more. She is also having solids now since two weeks ago. SO maybe it's just a combination of it all which means she's unsettled.

I am going with the flow. I was getting anxious about getting up at 5am and I still don't like it- I'm not a morning person, but now I just rest with her in the arvo if I need to. That's why I stayed at home and didn't go bacck to work yet, so I could do what she needs me to do not what I want!

I hope things improve for you soon. I'm sure she'll change again soon. They have to keep us on our toes! Good luck

Kellie.

[Janie]

Another one here! Nicholas used to have a lovely stretch of 7 or so hours through the night, but it's been getting less and less since three months. We are now up two or three times a night. It's so hard when you've gotten used to sleep again! My more experienced friends tell me that it's quite normal for them to forget their good sleeping habits at around this age.

Tan, big hugs for you hun, I know how hard it is. Nicholas isn't great at self-settling during the day, but life has been much easier since I stopped worrying about that. I just do what needs to be done to get him to sleep peacefully, and if there are consequences to pay for doing that down the track, then so be it. You can only do what feels right at the time. Just a tip that may or may not help you - we have started playing Peacebaby this week and it really works! It relaxes me too I hope you can find some peace soon.

Kellie, glad to hear that Bfing is going great guns again Good on you!

[Danni]

seriously darling....its definitely a stormy patch. Remember we are 3 or 4 weeks ahead of you and just getting out of it. So hang in there... there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Try and keep her up for 2 hours during the day and see how that goes.
Otherwise feeding to sleep is ok..nothing wrong with that honey.

Umm what else? I dont really have much advice...just hang in there...keep smiling...and relax. Enjoy your baby girl and soon she will work it all out