1) Zander started using his spoon around his first birthday, he's a very independent little man & even before that he struggled when we fed him. He just prefers to do things himself so I'm not sure how to help on that one.

2) Most (if not all) babies pick up smacking from *somewhere*. It seems like an automatic reaction or something Generally if Zander was on my lap or I was holding him, I'd grab his hand look him in the eyes & say "no smacking". I would then put him on the floor. When he calmed down I'd get down to his level & explain to him. "It's not nice to smack people, it hurts & makes mummy very upset. Mummy doesn't smack you does she? Noooo, so you shouldn't smack mummy either. Now give mummy a cuddle to say sorry." Then I'd pick him back up & all is good. If he did it again while I was talking to him (which he did sometimes) I'd do the same, say no & then stand back up straight & wait a minute until he had settled again. It is tough, but you need to be consistent as does everyone else. If she's with someone else & they don't do it how you want, take Abby off them & do the whole thing as you would if she had hit you. In the trolley, I would just take a step away, let her calm down & then do the same spiel. It really does work.

3) Again I think most bubs do it. There's not a lot you can do aside from holding her hands until she calms down. More than likely though she'll get even angrier. While you're holding her hands explain to her whats going on. "I know you're upset Abby about xyz, but you might hurt yourself by ..... " Explanations go a loooong way IMO, even when they are very little.

4) With talking you can try to tell her you don't understand or act dumb LOL. If she points to a toy, ask her "Abby what do you want?" when she grunts respond with "Mummy doesn't understand, can you tell mummy what you want?" Then when you give it to her, say "you'd wanted the DOLL did you Abby? It's a pretty DOLL isn't it. The DOLL has a nice dress on doesn't she? Can you say DOLL Abby?" Emphasize the thing over & over when you give it to her, ask her to say. I think the big key is to talk constantly to them. The more you talk the more they learn.

Well that's just some of the things we tried with Zander.

HTH.