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Thread: How close together??

  1. #1

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    Default How close together??

    If there is a better place to put this post, please move it! )



    I was just wondering how close together everyone has had their children and what their thoughts are... ie did you have 2 under 2 and think it was a disaster, did you wait the 3 years etc....

    um, just incase you were wondering... NO!!! i have no plans for a 2nd just yet!!! hahahaha

  2. #2

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    LOL Emz! I have to say your post caught my attention and I wondered if you were planning already! hehe.

    Of course, I haven't had any experience with gaps.. but I'll say that 5 years between my bro and me was too big.. we lived separate lives.. and a brother that big can be so mean to a little sister! LOL.

    A client of mine had 3 kids in the time most would have 2.. and she said that altho she worked her butt off running around after 3 littlies, all the nappies etc are out of the way now in less time. If she had bigger gaps, she'd STILL be changing nappies! know what I mean?

    We're planning to start TTC when Tallon turns 1. Allowing for a bit of time to actually conceive, it should be a nice gap i think I'd like Tallon to have us to himself for a couple of years.

  3. #3

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    There are so many opinions on this - because what will suit one family will not necessarily suit another. I was pg with Erin when Lindsay was 11 months and again with Paige when Erin was 11 months and we have a 20 months age gap bwtween all three. So I have done the 2 under 2 thing and then the 3 under 3 1/2 thing too. It is really not that bad and like Ivana said - you get all the nappies out of the way sooner rather than later.

    This is the first time I have had a child turning two and I don't have a new baby. It does feel a little weird, but now Paige is this age, I'm not sure if I could go back to the baby stage (as much as I love babies).

    I think you just know when the time is right to start trying again. For me it was hard to put a time frame of having kids. We had no idea what gap we wanted, but we just went with it when I started feeling clucky again LOL.

    ETA - I forgot to say how well it has worked out for us to have them that close. They all get on really well and there are no real issues with them (remind me of this in their teens years LOL). For a while I did have two in nappies, but I didn't see that as an issue. Plus I always found it really easy coping with a new baby because everything was still fresh in my mind IYKWIM?

  4. #4
    Kell Guest

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    Hi Molly was 2yrs 7mths when Will was born and it was originally more of a gap than i wanted but it worked really well. She was old enough to help with little things, and she really understood what was going on, she didnt get jealous at all!
    I also like the fact that she has now started preschool and that gives me some 'one on one' time with Will which i find is difficult with the second...

  5. #5
    Stormi Guest

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    I really don't think there is a "perfect" age gap. The "experts" said 3 years apart was a good gap, but there are pretty much 3 years between my 3, and I dunno. Number 3 was unexpected and just as we were finally getting back to some sort of "normality' - no waking in the night, no nappies etc, then along comes a newborn and throws a spanner in the works. But for me personally, I wouldn't have coped with close age gaps, especially as I had severe PND after my first two, which took a long time to go away.

    But I like the age gaps we have, DS1 is at school (in year 2) and DS2 goes to preschool 2 days a week, and hopefully school next year, which will give me and DD some time together. I have a lot of trouble if I have to take the 3 of them out by myself, I couldn't imagine if they were all closer together in age, I would find it very difficult. I guess a lot depends on what sort of children they are, too, my two boys are very full-on and out of control lol, if you had obedient quiet children it might be easier with a closer age gap

  6. #6
    digimumma Guest

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    There is just under 1 year difference between our 2 oldest children. Tiesha was born 2 days before William's first birthday. I think my main concern was how would I cope because I was 18 and it freaked me out...LOL But Willaim was a wonderful bub and accepted Tiesha with no probs and we had no trouble falling into routine. They were really close (can't say that now as teenagers...LOL). People often mistook them as twins!

    There's 3 years difference between Tiesha and Madeline, And 4 years difference between Madeline and Giorgia. And now Giorgia will be almost 7 when this bub is born...

  7. #7

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    When this one is born i will have 3 under the age of 4.
    Kimberley was just over 2 when i had Alex and when i have this one she will be turning 4 a few days later and Alex will be nearly 2.

  8. #8

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    Hi i always thought 18mths to 2 years was the perfect age gap but when i had aiden in feb zara was 2 years 7 months and i have found it to be very easy. zara helps me by getting nappies, wipes or entertaining him when he's unsettled. i will finish the pill at the end of march 2007 and will start trying for bub #3 in june? if all goes to plan aiden will be 2 1/2 and zara 5 when #3 arrives. but in saying all that it might be easy or harder to conceive. when i fell pregnant with zara i wasn't even trying and was pregnant within 2 months of being off the pill but with aiden we starting trying when zara was 6mths and fell pregnant when zara was nearly 2 . so who would know 3rd time round.

    GOOD LUCK!!!

  9. #9

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    I have almost 7 yrs between mine & it's awesome... Maddy helps so much with Indah... But as I have only had this experience it's hard to comment really.... Because I dont know what 2 closer together is like as I havent been in that situation... But for us it's working out wonderfully, the girls adore each other & Indah is now at an age she is playing & interacting with Maddy & they do stuff together!

    We will go for # 3 sometime next year!!!! But it took us over a year to conceive Indah so it may be a bigger gap again????

  10. #10

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    I think this is a really personal preference in terms of what suits you and DH, and what you can cope with as a family....
    There is two years between my brother and I and I think that was perfect - we are very close now.
    There'll be two years between my two as well so I'm hoping for the same for them

  11. #11

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    I have 4years and 2 months between my two. We were originally aiming for a three year gap (But nature had other ideas) as my bro and i are just under 4 years apart and as we got a bit older we went seperate ways for a while and only kinda got back on track once our own kids started coming.
    The thing I think was most difficult was DS#1 adjusting after such a long time of having both of us to himself. So we did our best to pay extra attenetion to him and not focus ALL our energies on DS#2. It is good when DS#1 is at pre school as I have undevoted time for DS#2 as i did with DS#1 and I will also be able to go to kindy gym and swimming etc with just him so that will still be our special times together.

    In saying that, I think that whenever you feel is the right time to go for it.The timing needs to fit in with your work, family and other major influences i your life.

    Good Luck Emz.....and don't go giving me a heart attack like that again...i was ready to start checking the pg announcements!!

  12. #12

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    There is 17 months between Olivia and Charlie, and whilst she adjusted no probs when he was a newborn, she was still not walking until 19 months, so that was tough. She is now 2 and a half as he is coming up to his first birthday and they ADORE each other & it is perfect.

    I am pg with #3 (not exactly planned, LOL!) and there will only be 14 months between Charlie and his baby sister......so I have no idea how that'll go.....but I shall have 3 under 3....so I only hope we all stay sane!!

    I am not sure there is an "ideal" age gap.....swings and roundabouts with all gaps I think.......

  13. #13

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    My DS will turn 4 this december and we are ttc now. We both decided to wait so long so that we could put the same time and effor tinto our second as we put into our first. I also knew I would be a nervous wreak with two littlies and I wanted to go back to work for a little while. We originally planned to wait another year before ttc but DS is interested in babies at the moment and it suits our lifestyle at the moment to have another baby (God willing :-)

    Each family is so different though. i know we faced a lot of oppostion to waiting so long but it is what is right for us IYKWIM

  14. #14

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    I think it really depends on your own situation and really you can make the best of any age gap that you have...having said that...my brother and I are 14 months apart and it was horrible..we really hated each other until our late teens!

    My eldest dd and her sister are 26 months apart and I found that to be really good. Jess was out of nappies during the day and she was able to have some understanding of a little baby and it worked well with big girl versus baby. Emily and Olivia are 21/2 years apart and I loved that even more. Em was that little bit older again and more able to understand what was going on. As sisters the girls are all very close now and really do get on well. We have 63/4 gap with Olivia and Sammy...and it really feels like my first all over again...cept I have some great little entertainers and they arent in the least bit jealous of him. Thats probably what I have noticed most this time around that the sibling rivalry is virtually non existant with such a big gap.

    Have fun in deciding what is best for you and your family. I really do think you can make the most out of any situation.

    Jo

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