i am in the same boat.. i dont feel our family is what it is meant to be, i am thrilled with the 2 children we have, but can still see us with at least another child, I yern to be pregnant again and have another child but for the moment its not going to happen.
For the moment we are going to concentrate on getting rid of the mortgage as much as possible and looking at our long term goals, we will take some o/s holidays, upgrade our car, things that we want to do and then we will see..
Our DD also starts school next year, so i want 2009 to be about her, not a new baby, i really want to be able to be involved in her school as much as possible, and although i know that this could be done with a pregnancy or a new born it is not what we are choosing to do.
I am having an IUD put in this week, and in 12 months time, DH & I will talk about our family and our goals once again.. so its not out of the question to have more children its just on the back burner!
I'm the same too charly. We agreed on two and in some ways I know that's right for us due to our age and other factors. And DH definitely doesn't want more. But part of me will always long for another I think. To a certain extent I think that's inevitable. I guess the thing is you have to decide whether you can live without regret if you don't have another - and I mean real regret, not pangs when you see a nb bubba. That should help make it clearer. I also try to look at the positives of just 2.
I do know that if we had started younger we most likely would have had more. So I guess that's something people should consider if they delay to save money first or whatever, sometimes that does limit your options.
I feel very similar to Carley and Mantaray. We are stopping with 2 and I do feel mostly complete. I do mourn the loss the I will not get to have a chance at a natural birth and that I will not get to got through the newborn stage again. Those things though are not enough to have another. Like Manta our age has limited the amount of children we would like to have, we would like to have a bit of a life once they have left home, plus I feel the lack of sleep more-so than in my twenties.
I hate to admit it, but the whole process of baby making makes me feel a bit in limbo, like we cannot get on with plans, careers etc. I kind of disliked the what-ifs of not having a complete family, car size, house size, hanging onto baby gear etc. Now we have stopped I feel more comfortable about making major decisions and knowing that when I start work again I can have real go at my career, rather than just making a bit of money to help out. I almost feel relieved to be able to get on with things, I suppose that could be what feeling finished is like for me.
It is different with us because we want one more. Well, I want two more, but DH doesn't want any, so that leaves us comprimising at one more. DS is such a handful that somedays I ponder whether I could do it again I will cherish the next pregnancy knowing that it will most likely be my last. Although we are still relatively young, I don't think we will end up having more. Like others have said, there is a certain "lifestyle" decision you have to make as well. I am the primary money earner, so it takes its toll if I am off work for too long. I know there is more to life than money, but that is a decision each individual can make for themselves.
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I will cherish the next pregnancy knowing that it will most likely be my last. Although we are still relatively young, I don't think we will end up having more. Like others have said, there is a certain "lifestyle" decision you have to make as well. I am the primary money earner, so it takes its toll if I am off work for too long. I know there is more to life than money, but that is a decision each individual can make for themselves.
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