I think you just learn to function as you have too, I have had teary days, snappy days etc. DS1 didnt sleep thru the night till 11 months old (was BF to sleep) even then he wasnt settling for final time till 2300 ish then sleeping till 0800. During days he would BF to sleep and only sleep on my knee or in pram, 11 months stopped sleeping in pram grrr and 13 months I could put him down during day in cot!!
DS2 generally awake 2300 - 0001 until 0100 or 0200 then awake again at 0500 ish into bed with us until 0800 when DS1 wakes up.
Some days I am so tired I dont know how I get thru the day.
Hugs it will pass we will all get sleep eventually. (DH does not cope well if he does not get a good sleep.)
Other half held grouchypants in the evenings (read - 10pm to 2am) so I could sleep, or I would have been totally non-functioning. He slept in very late in the mornings when grouchypants was asleep. We stayed in mutual barely-there zombie mode for about a year. We even accidentally bought a house during zombie phase, and of course it took absolutely forever to renovate the thing so we could live in it ...
I suppose one 'advantage' of extreme sleep deprivation is that when you *do* have the chance to sleep, you go to sleep instantly. Where by 'chance' I mean simple stuff, like when your eyes close to blink, when you sit on any surface that is slightly comfortable, during breastfeeding, when stopped at traffic lights ....
I cope with the frequent waking by co-sleeping. Makes the night feeds so much quicker and we both go back to sleep as soon as they are done. Some mornings I wake and can't really remember if she has fed overnight or not!!
We did get a cot and she slept a few times in it but I found it such a pain to get up and out of bed to do the feeds, so back into our bed she goes!
Not very well here! I have had to really be very realistic about what needs to be done. DD1 is an awful sleeper and only in the last 6 months it has settled a bit. She still wakes a few times during the night but now climbs in with us rather than scream the house down. Not ideal as she sleeps holding on to me so I get woken a bit but better than the alternative. I try to get a few hours extra every second Sunday morning and we have a few hours quiet time in the afternoon when DD2 is asleep if possible - I put on the TV and we sit/lie in bed. I also am really strict about an early bedtime for me - so in bed by 9/9.30 at the latest. It is really boring but necessary to keep sane and functional particularly at work. I too get teary and overreact to things when it is worse than usual. We have tried everything in the last 4 years to get more sleep and nothing worked so make sure you are kind to yourself about it too. I find I cope better when I have just accepted that is how it is rather than obsessing about 'fixing' it. Take care and try to rest when you can. xxxx
i have lots of different coping mechanisms - which seem to be strongly linked to whether or not i have pms
the main one i have is that i co-sleep. it's the only way i can cope with a baby that wakes on a very similar schedule to your DS. i found having to actually get out of bed very disheartening & it's easier if i can stay in bed - especially during winter!
i tend to rant & rave & cry when i have pms - that's the time when i feel like the situation is hopeless & that i will never, ever get a decent EVER again. and i say to DP - do you realise that it's been xx months since i slept for more than 2 hours at a time? (i think after 13 months he has a pretty good idea of how long it's been )
i alternate between researching different gentle techniques & trying to apply them (so far unsuccessfully but for a week or so at a time i feel like i am actually doing something) and being at peace with myself that i am happy to let DS get there in his own time. my MIL said to me the other day that i have done this for so long now (although way less than a lot of other posters) that i should know that i can stick it out.
sometimes other MG mums will tell me that i'm amazing (which is funny cos i am the most un-amazing person!!) & that gives me a lift & keeps me going.
i have found though that i have got into a spiral of eating crap (lots of sugar & caffeine) but that's not anything other than a quick boost & has made me put on more weight. so this morning i'm off to see a personal trainer & try to get into some better eating & exercise habits. i'm hoping this not only improves my health but also gives me some time out & that those lovely exercise endorphins will keep me positive
I don't cope with sleep deprivation very well at all - I go from teary to tantrummy and back to teary but I think survival kicks in a bit and I get through because I just have to.
On days when I am so tired I feel sick, I don't drive anywhere because I don't feel safe enough and everything is so much easier to manage when I am at home.
If I can get the kids settled and playing happily, I try to nap on and off on the couch. Or I grab a pillow and lie on the floor next to where they are playing and sleep there. That keeps them happy enough that I am there, they don't seem to mind that I'm not conscious
I also try and spend some time in the sun. Being in sunshine does amazing things to wake your brain up even when you are so tired you feel ill.
I try to make sure that I eat properly (3 meals a day) even though it seems like a lot of effort and because I feel sick, I don't want to eat. I make all the food for the day for the kids first thing in the morning and put it in containers in the fridge - it is so much easier to do it in one go and think about it in the morning so all I have to do at meal and snack times is drag it out rather than food prep all day long.
I co-sleep if DD2 won't settle any other way - my older two have short naps in the day or will at least play quietly in their rooms for an hour so I lie down with DD2 and hold her while we have a sleep together. Until recently, she has loved it. Now she seems to prefer her own cot, which is nice is some ways. She is not actually my problem sleeper - she is great, DS is my all night long party animal - he is 2 years old.
And I ignore all my housework, if I can. I do only the necessary stuff like cleaning up after meals, wiping down benches, doing dishes. My floors are revolting somedays, but rest seems more important. I try to do my washing on the weekends when DH is home (and he helps out) and avoid doing it during the week if I can help it. It works well for us because I have a day of doing loads, drying them, folding them and at the end of the day, I have a mountain of washing all folded on the table, but I put it away and don't have to think about it for another week. I live in Townsville though and drying on the clothes line only takes an hour and a half even in the middle of winter so it is possible to do that here.
Sleep deprivation is an absolute killer! I hope you get some good sleep sometime soon
It's a hard slog.
I co-slept when things were particularly bad. Still sleep deprived, but slightly better.
I got sleep ins on the weekend. No weekday naps at that age as I was working unfortunately, but that's another good idea. HAving granma or someone else come in for a few hours so you can catch up a bit can help.
I think the key thing is to make things as easy as possible for yourself - do whatever works best, and forget about everything that isn't absolutely essential.
Doesn't it make you wonder why there aren't in home services readily available to parents with young kids to help give them a rest. As sleep deprivation seems to affect so many parents where is the help? Sleep deprivation is a serious condition. It's not just a matter of feeling a bit tired if it can make you feel so sick you want to vomit or not be able to drive a car. If it can lead to depression and so severely impact the quality of your parenting. And it is not just a few night we are talking about it going on for months if not years. It just doesn't seem right someone has to feel like this for such an extended period of time.
As we no longer have the communities where we are surrounded by Mothers, Sisters, Aunts or other family that can pop in each day to give you a hand to get through what are the options? I actually rang a Nanny agency last week to see if I could get some help for just a few hours each day for the next month so I could get some energy up to tackle our sleeping issues and was told Nanny's like full days of work and it would be hard to find someone for just a few hours a day. Even if Nanny's did this kind of work not every one can afford to hire a Nanny. Why aren't there government services available to all? I know I am just daydreaming about this as it would never be a government priority but it is something I feel strongly about at the moment as I feel the quality of my life is so strongly affected.
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