How do you cope with sleep deprivation???

[Lana]

Doesn't it make you wonder why there aren't in home services readily available to parents with young kids to help give them a rest. As sleep deprivation seems to affect so many parents where is the help? Sleep deprivation is a serious condition. It's not just a matter of feeling a bit tired if it can make you feel so sick you want to vomit or not be able to drive a car. If it can lead to depression and so severely impact the quality of your parenting. And it is not just a few night we are talking about it going on for months if not years. It just doesn't seem right someone has to feel like this for such an extended period of time.

As we no longer have the communities where we are surrounded by Mothers, Sisters, Aunts or other family that can pop in each day to give you a hand to get through what are the options? I actually rang a Nanny agency last week to see if I could get some help for just a few hours each day for the next month so I could get some energy up to tackle our sleeping issues and was told Nanny's like full days of work and it would be hard to find someone for just a few hours a day. Even if Nanny's did this kind of work not every one can afford to hire a Nanny. Why aren't there government services available to all? I know I am just daydreaming about this as it would never be a government priority but it is something I feel strongly about at the moment as I feel the quality of my life is so strongly affected.

Just a thought...

[onthefly]

I've often had the same thought Lana In some countries they do actually value parenting a little more and have this sort of government-funded home help...

[willow5]

THANK YOU so much for all the replies and support!

I wish I was the teary type, instead i am the rant rave and throw tantrum type.

I'm usually the throw a tantrum type, but now that I'm teary as well I know it's really getting to me!

It can feel just awful some days waking and feeling more tired than when you went to bed. after i tried everything i wanted to try to change it, i just gave in one day. I accepted i couldn't do much more and that it would get better in time.

Other things that help are 1) don't look at a clock in the night 2) don't count how many times you get up.

I don't know why I didn't think of that before!! (well I do, it's because my brain function is ZERO!) I would always cover the clock if I knew I was going to bed late and tell DP "don't tell me the time!" and it worked so I will be doing that from now on, thank you for reminding me of that psychological trick! And yes the waking up more tired than when I went to bed is really getting to me as well.

During days he would BF to sleep and only sleep on my knee or in pram,


Hugs it will pass we will all get sleep eventually.

We BF to sleep too, through the day he has only just started to let me put him down again to sleep...well actually, I lay in the cot which is pushed up to our bed and feed him laying down then can slip away after he feeds and he'll usually stay asleep. I know we will get sleep eventually, I just hope we can save the last of our sanity until then...we need it for the teenage years, I have a semi-feral 16yr old too and he's been getting away with a bit due to my sleep deficit!

We even accidentally bought a house during zombie phase, and of course it took absolutely forever to renovate the thing so we could live in it ...

I suppose one 'advantage' of extreme sleep deprivation is that when you *do* have the chance to sleep, you go to sleep instantly. Where by 'chance' I mean simple stuff, like when your eyes close to blink, when you sit on any surface that is slightly comfortable, during breastfeeding, when stopped at traffic lights ....

Very true!! I have done all three, although only nearly nodded off at red lights. LOL! Accidentally buying a house!

I cope with the frequent waking by co-sleeping. Makes the night feeds so much quicker and we both go back to sleep as soon as they are done. Some mornings I wake and can't really remember if she has fed overnight or not!!
We did get a cot and she slept a few times in it but I found it such a pain to get up and out of bed to do the feeds, so back into our bed she goes!

Do you co-sleep?
Sue x

Yep we co-sleep, I tried out putting him in his cot in his own room for a few weeks, this was successful for a couple of my BB baby buddies, but no success here, and like you said, the getting up and down was a killer! I have to actually move him to the other side to feed when he wakes I haven't mastered feeding both sides from the one position so I still know when he feeds, and if I try to leave him on the same side to help himself he'll latch on then pull off and latch on and pull off...until I move him to the other side

i have lots of different coping mechanisms - which seem to be strongly linked to whether or not i have pms

the main one i have is that i co-sleep. it's the only way i can cope with a baby that wakes on a very similar schedule to your DS. i found having to actually get out of bed very disheartening & it's easier if i can stay in bed - especially during winter!

i tend to rant & rave & cry when i have pms - that's the time when i feel like the situation is hopeless & that i will never, ever get a decent EVER again. and i say to DP - do you realise that it's been xx months since i slept for more than 2 hours at a time? (i think after 13 months he has a pretty good idea of how long it's been )

i alternate between researching different gentle techniques & trying to apply them (so far unsuccessfully but for a week or so at a time i feel like i am actually doing something) and being at peace with myself that i am happy to let DS get there in his own time. my MIL said to me the other day that i have done this for so long now (although way less than a lot of other posters) that i should know that i can stick it out.



i have found though that i have got into a spiral of eating crap (lots of sugar & caffeine) but that's not anything other than a quick boost & has made me put on more weight. so this morning i'm off to see a personal trainer & try to get into some better eating & exercise habits. i'm hoping this not only improves my health but also gives me some time out & that those lovely exercise endorphins will keep me positive

hang in there chickadee

I could've written that myself! My friend and I have a name for our PMS, we call here Suzie, she is not nice!! Like you that is the worst time and I do feel it hopeless then. Ditto on the eating crap too! Hope you have success with the exercise and better eating good on you for getting onto it

I don't cope with sleep deprivation very well at all - I go from teary to tantrummy and back to teary but I think survival kicks in a bit and I get through because I just have to.

On days when I am so tired I feel sick, I don't drive anywhere because I don't feel safe enough and everything is so much easier to manage when I am at home.


I also try and spend some time in the sun. Being in sunshine does amazing things to wake your brain up even when you are so tired you feel ill. I do my best for this too.

I make all the food for the day for the kids first thing in the morning and put it in containers in the fridge



I live in Townsville though and drying on the clothes line only takes an hour and a half even in the middle of winter so it is possible to do that here.

I went through a red light the other day, no other cars around luckily, so now I only drive when absolutely necessary, or if I'm feeling particularly alert (so not often) ...poor DP cops a lot of crap!
Not so good in Canberra for doing the laundry once a week, waaay to cold here in winter, although at the moment I haven't washed for a week anyway...it will be a challenge! The house will just be looking like a Chinese laundry for a while
I am going to try to food prep in the morning.

WOW that was looong! Very nice to know you're not alone xx

[Daydream Believer]

DD turned 2 last week & she has slept through the night less than a dozen times. I go to bed when she does most nights (around 830pm), we co-sleep, it's not very often I can sleep during the day but we have quiet time for an hour or so watching a movie & I'll lay on the couch.
Im still not used to it & get teary at least once a fortnight & just keep telling myself she'll grow out of it eventually.

[willow5]

I meant to say in my PP to all that are/were working through the sleep deprivation I keep saying how glad I am I'm still on mat leave I dread going back and don't know how I'll cope with that!

to all ...Daydream Believer, they will grow out of it, you've done 2yrs already so I hope there's and end soon for you, and everyone else doing the hard yards!

[Vixstar]

I DON'T deal with sleep dep very well at all, esp the older I get. I look like a darn panda this morning after a week of sick kids, a snoring hubby....my brain just won't switch off.

I try to nap during the day but am always thinking I should be doing this or that...then I get restless and end up getting up and plodding on.

It does my head in and like last night, poor DH has to literally pick me up off the floor when he comes home.

I am my own worst enemy. lol

xxxx