thread: How do you encourage your toddler to talk?

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  1. #1
    BellyBelly Member
    Add xXHopeXx on Facebook

    Jan 2010
    Penrith, NSW
    1,075

    How do you encourage your toddler to talk?

    Well as the headline says, how do you?

    DD is just on 16 months and she really isn't a big talker. She says a couple things, which are in context, like "wee" for swing, or if she's on the swing/slippery dip, says "go", "key" for Mickey mouse (or minnie mouse, or Pluto lol) occasionally says something that sounds like thankyou, but I'm not sure if that's coincidence or not as she doesn't say it all the time, I think there may be another word or two, but I can't think off the top of my head. She does babble and say other "words" like mum, dad, bub, etc. but not TO us ITMS.
    It's only started coming to my mind recently as she's started getting very frustrated to the point of throwing tantrums when I don't understand what as wants straight away. I ask her what she wants and if it's not correct, she throws herself on the ground and starts crying until I can guess what she wants.

    I do know she has a short fuse when she wants food, there's no build up, it's just like she realises she wants food one second then she instantly starts crying until she has some, but it's also with other things.

    I guess my point is, I wish I could help her express what she wants in words more to reduce the unnecessary tantrums and upset!

    Any advice?


    Sent from the land of "iSomethings" so forgive me for any spelking misstaks

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    In a cloud of madness.
    4,053

    I get my girls to repeat what i'm saying for example

    please mummy can i have xyz.... comes out as please mummy have xyz.
    Please...
    Thank you....

    I really just correct what they are trying to say with the right word and get them to repeat it... even with my DD1 i still do the same thing.

    HTMS

  3. #3
    BellyBelly Member
    Add xXHopeXx on Facebook

    Jan 2010
    Penrith, NSW
    1,075

    What do you do if they don't even try to copy you back? DD doesn't, she just looks at me funny and gets cranky because I'm not giving her what she wants, and if I persist she just starts to chuck a wobbly :/


    Sent from the land of "iSomethings" so forgive me for any spelking misstaks

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Nov 2011
    SE Melbourne
    2,975

    perhaps make it the focus at less 'important' times.... so when she is playing, you talk about what she is doing, and if you are handing her something say what it is as you pass it.
    Keep it single words to start, as sentences are too hard for little ones. Lots and lots of exposure to language is important, and if you REALLY wanted to push it, you can't give her what she wants until she has said it.... but in that case it needs to be something she CAN actually say.... so focus on the things she can say for now, and only respond if she uses that word.

    You can also take photographs of the things she generally wants, and get her to point to the pictures - perhaps leave them on the fridge - so she can pick up and bring it to you, or point to it. You will need to model it - "oh you want the milk" and pick up the milk.... kids learn to communicate first by pointing and gesturing, and then it transfers to words....

    she is still very little, so I wouldn't worry about it too much yet....

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    Melbourne
    4,895

    I just talked & talked non stop to my DD. If we were getting something from the fridge for example I'd say 'Mummy is getting xyz from the fridge for lunch, snack' etc... Or if I was folding washing I'd just say what I was doing. I also agree with myturn - words are enough for toddlers, they will eventually start to string more & more words together later on. So if she wants something to eat, go to the fridge or pantry & get her to point at what she wants then say what it is. ie: yoghurt. Try not to worry too much, they all of a sudden just have huge bursts of talking then you can't keep them quiet ;P

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Apr 2009
    Sydney
    2,350

    Hehe I had to chuckle at this questions because only this morning I was wondering how to get my almost Mr2 to stop talking!!!

    My DS had a word explosion a couple months back and hasn't shut up since!! It's like something clicked in his head and that was the start of it!

    I'm sure your Dd will be talking her little head off before you know it

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Mar 2009
    2,269

    I don't think you can push a child to talk when they aren't ready but you could introduce sight cards (pictures of things she can point to to explain what she would like) or sign language (makaton for example) to supplement her verbal ability in the meantime?

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Jul 2008
    Melbourne
    3,244

    my ds was very similar at the same age. i remember wondering just how bad the terrible 2's were going to be because the tantrums he was having were bad enough.

    i think your dd sounds perfectly normal - i found the word explosion came far closer to 2. a friend's dd is 15 months & she sounds the same as your dd.

    fwiw another friend was worried about her dd's speech at 21ish months because she was still mostly babbling. she was told that it wasnt a concern & that the babbling was a good thing because she was still trying to communicate.

    just keep talking to her & reading books & i think it'll all fall into place.

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Jun 2005
    USA
    3,991

    Sounds pretty normal to me. The frustration tantrums kind of come with the territory. In those cases I will just keep pointing and pointing to things till I get it right and say the one word name as you go "cup?", "teddy?", "bowl?" etc.

    I taught my 18 month old the sign for "more" a few months ago and he likes using that for "I want..." and then he points to whatever he wants. That seems to have avoided meltdowns for him.

    Otherwise, with regards to expanding speech, just keep talking "You want cup? Oh! I want cup mummy. Here you are. Thank you mummy" etc etc, have conversations with yourself And extend on things she says, so when she says "Wee" you can reply "Wee! Down the slide!".

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Oct 2008
    1,572

    I have always started with the word that is most important in the sentence that DD's wanted to say and get them to repeat it after me (unless obviously they are upset) and then repeat it back to them. So with being picked up, if they put their arms up to me I would say 'say please' and when they did they got picked up. When they did this without prompting then I would say 'up please' and so on until she now comes up to me and says 'please can you pick me up mummy?' LOL she just came up to me and did that

    I also explain what I am doing all the time to the kids and repeat the important words. Reading books also helps I found. But like the others have said, kids will start talking when they are ready. And when they are 8 you'll wish they'd stop for 5 mins

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Aug 2009
    Melbourne
    766

    My little one has just started saying more words, but he still doesn't specificy exactly what he wants to eat. So I generally run through a list of things till he says "yeth" (yes), but these days does he just seems to say yes to everything, 2 months ago it was No to everything.
    At 16 months we used to let him go to the fridge or pantry and point out what he wanted.

    I think 16 months is a little young to be expecting too many words, only recently have I been able to point at things in a book and has he been able to say 'shoes, socks, pants' etc... I think the best way to go about it, as the ladies have said it lots of repetition. I point at pictures in books and say 'Whats that?' If he knows it, he will try to say it and then I will say 'Well done' and repeat the word. If he doesnt know it, I say the word a couple of times.

    You will get there, there is just a tough period where they have opinions/needs but can't express them, and you're in that now!

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Oct 2009
    Bonbeach, Melbourne
    7,177

    Have you tried using baby sign language? Auslan or anything like that. DD has just started saying her first proper word (cat) because every time we see one of the cats, we point and say "cat!" and do the cat sign. She now attempts to do the sign (a bit tricky) and says "CAT" or sometimes of she's tired or excited "DAT" when she sees a cat, which is great. We also taught her water and milk (just the signs, she doesn't say them yet), which she uses all the time and helps us avoid tantrums when she wants something. We're now teaching her poo and hungry, and eventually tired too, although those concepts are more abstract.

  13. #13
    Registered User

    Apr 2006
    Perth
    4,203

    Neither of mine were saying any words at that age. DD2 was about 20 odd months before she started saying words, DD1 more like 26 months. The main people in their lives (me, DH, and my parents) have always talked incessantly to/with them, read lots of books together etc so when their words came it was very slow to begin with but then oh my goodness they came!! Now at 4 and 5, I would love to find the off switch sometimes ;-)

  14. #14
    Registered User

    Aug 2009
    Melbourne
    766

    Oh and dont feel bad about her not saying mum, dad etc TO you. My son took forever to start doing that and even now he only says daddy and pappoo (grandpa in Greek) to DH and my dad. He rarely calls me mummy.

  15. #15
    Registered User

    Oct 2008
    Victoria
    4,601

    My nearly 3 year old has been slow to talk but is really coming along now. A few things we have been doing is not pushing him, so if we know what he wants then just give/do without making him say it. People I know were telling me I was making it too easy for him not to talk, but then when I got a professional opinion, she felt that not making him even more frustrated when he really couldn't say that particular word yet was better if that makes sense. If it was something we knew he can say then of course we would tell him to say it. I know how hard it is when you seriously don't know what they want though

    Another key thing for us has been taking the question out of it, so instead of saying 'can you say...' we simply said 'say...' The amount of words he came out with when we changed this was astonishing!

    We always encourage his efforts. Even if what he has come out with is nothing like the actual word then we still say 'great talking, good try' etc etc.

    But yes as others have mentioned 16 months is quite young, sounds like she is doing well so far!

  16. #16
    BellyBelly Member

    May 2007
    ACT
    523

    I completed the Hanen program recently because at 18mths DS wasn’t saying a great deal. He has low muscle tone which can cause delays with speech apparently so it was offered to us.
    Some strategies I got from the course are:
    1. Make communication fun and involve yourself in your child’s play and interests when working on language
    2. Get down to their level so you have good eye contact and become engaged
    3. Aim your speech at their level. If your DS is starting to use words, keep your interactions short, slow and repetitive, for example at bath time you may want to repeat several times “wash” as you wash DS, at meals you may want to repeat “more” when offering the next spoonful of food.
    4. The main thing I learnt is Observe, Wait and Listen (OWL). Observe your DS to see what has his attention and build on that in your interaction. (eg, if he’s playing with a car don’t try and get him to read a book, but talk about the car). Wait for his reaction once you’ve spoken – take turns and pause for him to respond. Listen for noises. I learnt I passed over some noises from DS when he was actually trying to say the words but they weren’t as I’d said it so I passed it over. Once they make a noise, you can repeat the word to enforce it and the correct pronunciation. My son says nummy for dummy, when he asks for his dummy I repeat “you want your dummy”.
    5. Work with what they’ve mastered so far. We changed the word for DS’s teddy from ‘teddy’ to ‘bear’ he had the ‘b’ noise in his vocabulary.

    Before I did this program we were much like you. DS knew what he wanted but just wouldn’t or couldn’t say the words and we’d have meltdowns from him when we didn’t understand or cotton on soon enough that he was hungry or thirsty.

    We had about 10 words before this course, used infrequently. We've probably at least tripled it now in a few months, and decreased the frustration levels in our house, although I have to act as interpreter between DS and DH regularly

  17. #17
    BellyBelly Member

    Jan 2010
    2,793

    As you know, DD says an awful lot these days (50ish words at last count). I attribute it to the following:
    1. She doesn't really walk so she's spent heaps more time learning 'other skills'
    2. As you know, we taught her the word 'more' whilst also teaching the sign. We learnt it whilst doing something she enjoys (reading) and after each read of the book I made her sign the word (even if it meant me moving her hands) and at the same time I would say 'more' before proceeding to immediately read it again. She quickly seemed to pick up that doing this sign (and very quickly she learnt to say the word) meant she got what she wanted. I think for her that at this time it 'clicked' that she could get what she wanted by talking. She is now at the point where she will try to repeat everything o say. She will point to something and grunt (her way of asking what it is). I will tell her and ask if she can say it and she will try.
    3. We read an awful lot of books. She loves books. She wants to read the same ones over and over. I feel that this has helped her language development an awful lot
    4. We point at and give names to most things. When we walk to the park for example we both point out things (tree, bird, car, pole) and say the words.

    Like others have said though, she sounds pretty normal. I recently looked up language development and by 18 months 5-20 words is 'normal'

  18. #18
    Registered User
    Add Dansta on Facebook Follow Dansta On Twitter

    Jul 2008
    a slice of paridise, victoria
    2,680

    the speechie we see for DJ has said that basicly you just have to talk all the time. language is like a growing tree - you need to plant the seed then tend to it so it grows. it starts of small - and weak but gets bigger and stronger the more you talk the more they learn.