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How do you help them to "switch off"?
Yet another sleep issues thread - I know
DD1 is taking up to 2 hours to fall asleep at night. She gets quite dozey on her bottle (which she still won't hold herself) but as soon as she has finished drinking, she's up and ready to party again. So its like 7.45, and we put her to bed.
She only just fell asleep before at around 9.25pm. And all that time, she will talk to herself in there, chat, giggle, play with her toys - everything - except bloody sleep! And I know she is tired because she only has an hour sleep during the day - otherwise it can take 3 hours to get her to sleep.
She just lays there and twitches all the time, her legs mainly - its like she can't keep them still. And because she does that - she can't "switch off". You can see that all she wants to do is go to sleep - but she just can't. So at the moment, when she sits up in bed and bounces wanting to play, I walk out of the room (usually I sit beside her stroking her back trying to get her to go to sleep).
She'll let out a wail, maybe cry for 30 seconds - 1 minute - and then she'll be all happy and start playing and chatting again. If I leave it 5 minutes and go back in there, she'll be sitting in the middle of her bed, happily playing with her bear, or doona, or pillow - ANYTHING BUT FREAKING SLEEPING.
Its totally doing our head in. How can we get her to switch off? We've tried lavender in the bath, massage before bed, braeurs calm stuff - EVERYTHING - and still she won't SLEEP.
So between her doing this - or doing this AND waking up in the middle of the night and doing the same thing then for a few hours - and DS waking up in the middle of the night and crawling into our bed - the newborn is the only one without bloody sleep issues!!!
I'm so tempted to take her to the doctor and get a script for something to help relax her, or take her to sleep school. She's nearly 17 months and just will not sleep - it can't be normal.
HELP!!!
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Hun you poor thing you must be exhausted! I don't know if it would work, but can you take everything out of her room (i.e. toys, other things she is likely to play with when she should be trying to go to sleep) so that she has no distractions and nothing to focus on except going to sleep?
As I said I have no idea if it would work, or if it's even possible for you...but hope you can get it sorted soon and get some decent sleep!
Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
What happens if you don't keep going in to check on her?
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I don't know, you might have already tried, but...quiet dark room? Meditation music CD?
sending lots of sleepy vibes....
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Mate, how frustrating for you.
We had a similar situation with DS when he was about 20 months but his issue is that he would want to get up for a 3 hour play session during the night.
After trying everything (singing, stroking hair, cuddles etc) we took the hardline approach.
If he woke up, we would say
" it's sleep time, lie down, head on pillow and go to sleep". and walk away.
If he persisted we would repeat and sometimes we would say
" you are making Mummy very cross, it sleep time, lie down, head on pillow and go to sleep"
Amazingly it worked.
I don't know if DD1 is a bit young to understand but it's worth a try.
HTH
Spring xx
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She stays awake just chilling on her bed for ages. Then she'll cry and fall asleep.
And then I feel like the worst mother in the world because she cried herself to sleep.
Spring - yeah she does understand it, she knows what "lie down and go to sleep" means. She'll lie down, and then sit back up and give you the cheesiest grin - argghh drives me mental how bloody happy this kid is!!!!!
Jasp - yeah we have music playing in the room, and its as dark as it can be with daylight savings!!
ss - nah, we need them in her room cos there are too many toys in the lounge room already.. LOL
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Does your DD have any food intolerences? I have heard of a theory about kids being intolerant to silicitates (tomato, potato, or night shade foods) actually have winding down and sleep dificulties. Basically these types of foods can wake kids up making it hard for them to settle. Just a thought
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I have no idea - how do you find out if they are intolerant to something? Tests by the doc or something? She eats everything no worries, she is the best eater in the house - actually she's starting to actually chub up now cos she won't stop eating!!!
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I am guessing a good naturopath would help you. maybe someone here on BB has had a similar experience
Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
Hun, I went through 18 months of this with dd. She got so mental in the end I nearly went mental too
I would try putting her to bed alot earlier. Maybe 6.30 - 7pm at the very latest. If she is not sleeping much during the day she will have to catch up. I think she might be too wound up before you even get her in there. The saying 'the more they sleep, the MORE they sleep' is also true in reverse. The less dd slept the harder it was to get her to sleep at all.
It still goes backwards some days, but if I can feel it coming on (she screeches and acts like a general nutbag - even at 3) I feed her by 5, bed about 6.30. If she starts up 'shenanigans' at least she will be asleep by 8 at the latest.
Doing this also started her sleeping through all night too
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Really Lulu?? I would LOVE her to sleep through the night - or even be asleep before 9pm!!!
Can any of your remedies help her do you think? I don't think the "calm" stuff is helping.
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Mum tried this with her XP's son, he had ADHD. Try the book 'Fed Up' by Sue Dengate - I think it gives tips & maybe an elimination diet? I remember he couldn't have green apples, among other things.
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Might be a hassle but maybe doing like an elimination diet could help identify what/if any foods can do this??? I know when my mum started this with me we discovered an intolerance to salicilates (tomato, choc, apples etc) and this was causing MASSIVE headaches as well as muscle twitches and sleeplessness.
Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
They probably could - I'd be more inclined to treat her with stuff to help her adjust to the recent changes so she could calm herself down.
BUT firstly I'd recommend the earlier bedtimes, cutting out things like strawberries and grapes (possible causes for being unable to wind down, check out the Sue Dengate Website).
Give it 2 weeks to change and commit to staying in there for a little bit longer stroking her back or whatever. If she bounces up to play and get all goofy, shush her and tell her to lie down again - all very gently and kindly. Don't respond to cuteness or her trying to engage you all over again. Say the same words - and only those words - to her. Shuuush now, time to sleep.
She will get it and it might be a bit frustrating but WOW - when you get to the point when she will go to sleep within minutes you feel like a FREAKIN CHAMPION and it somehow changes your life
Do the 2 week thing - and if you feel like it, go check the old parenting debriefing section and you can see how bad it got for dd and I. I thought I would DIE of frustration and lack of sleep....
IM gonna say it only cause I use to stay up until 2 - 3 am with W and then he would be up bouncing of the wall's at 6am
I was a walking zombie...I tried EVERYTHING until he was 3 1/2. My pead and doctor both told me to get some Valergane for him. I used 5ml at 5.30pm and put him to bed at 7 and BANG he slept through until 6 the next morning
Valergane is different to Phernergan. Phernergan is for allergies were Valergane is more a seditive.
No I dont agree in giving children drugs...but my sanity was on the line and I had to do what I had to for my sanity. I also went on doctor's advice and IM thankful I did.
Good luck hon...sleep deprevision is horrible for kidsonce their in that runt its hard to get them out of it
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i have found not having the tv on in the evening(wind down time starts at 5 ish) helps alot. once its off they have to process what they have seen, this usualy means they are a bit more "active"if it has been left on til later..
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Arimeh - Have you heard of Rescue Remedy? They have a kids formula and it helps to settle down anxiety and sleeplessness. There are other Bache Flower remedies too, all of these are available at your Health Shop. However because you DD is under 2yo they may not recommend anything.
Also I remember DD2 wen't through some thing like this around 15 to 18 months and I couldn't get her down before 9pm. I just kept the 7.30 to bed routine. Bed, book, song and kisses. After that I gave her no attention but to tell her to lie down and go to sleep (softly, not like a dog as my DH seems to do). If I knew she didn't need me anymore I'd just leave her to drop.
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Yeah I've heard of rescue remedy, I used to use it for my panic attacks.
She's getting worse now - its affecting her daytime sleeps as well. However, she seems to drop off quicker if we let her cry a little (which I absolutely HATE doing) but she seems to cry for about 2-5 minutes (just a whingy sort of cry, not screaming) and then goes quiet and she's usually fallen asleep.
Maybe us being in there with her is too much a distraction and WE are the problem, not a solution? Who knows. She had a small cry before when she went down for her nap, and then all went quiet, and she had fallen asleep. Much better than the 30 minutes it has been taking to get her down during the day.
At night it doesn't work AS well though, but if she stuffs around too much wanting to party, I usually walk out of the room and she cries for 2 minutes, and then I go back in. Maybe I need to let her cry/whinge for 5 minutes? I hate the thought of letting her cry it out without me, but I also hate the thought of being the "problem" and why she can't switch off?
Arghh so conflicted.
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