Wow it sounds so intense. Dd was clingy but not so much once she was walking. Am I right he's now about 16 months old?

Will he go to your Dh? I would be more inclined to manage your need for housework help and time to yourself rather than trying to impose more independence. So shower at night after he's asleep, get some housework help if you can etc

BUT!!! I would certainly try the tv or an iPad for short spurts of time for the toilet or sanity!!

Do you have some toys he really likes? What about joining a toy library so you can get loads of flashy noisy stimulating toys that last a week then swap? He might just need more distractions to allow you to do your own thing.

Being cramped and touched out is a horrible feeling. You're an amazing mummy.