Aniejade as i type this Esme is whining beside me. She's getting her molars, has a cold, and for both of those reasons has had no good lseep for about 6 days. I hear your frustration! She never had colic really but we've had our fair share of frustrations and sleepless nights (weeks, months). I too have shouted at her, and have in the past had to sit on my hands and leave rooms to prevent myself smacking her, today she slammed the washer drawer shut as i was loading liquid, which went everywhere and i am so bloody PROUD that i just sighed and said "oh, esme..." and cleaned it up.

I was 25 when DD was born, so not old, but way older than i was at 19 and i still found/find it very frustrating being a mum. Take all the help you're offered and look for more besides. A good mother is not one who does absolutely everything, a good mother just makes sure everything is done - trying to do it all yourself will only exhaust you and make things even more stressful.

Look for treatment for colic, but remember that even if you don't find one, it WILL pass. I know how it is when they're like that, screaming and no sleep - a day feels like a months, a week feels like a year, but time goes on passing and with each day they get bigger and cope better with life.

Massive to you hun, don't beat yourself up. I personally think it is far healthier to confess these feelings of rage and frustration than not. Afterall, for many of us this is one of the realities of motherhood, and hiding it is doing no-one favours.

Much love

Bec