HI Linda - hope you and Emma are feeling a bit better

My only suggestion is creating more sleep associations. We have a "music for Dreaming" Cd that i put on as soon as i enter Ella's room. I'll always try to do the same routine when putting her down:
- Turn on CD
- Limited chatting to her - just gentle, quiet voice telling her it's time for a rest
- close blinds
- loosely wrap her in her cot
- give her dummy
- say the same poem each time before i leave "It's time for bed, now close your eyes. No more tears and no more sighs. Dream of all things happy and bright. Stay warm and snug until it's light".
- Pull her sheet up to her face and finally walk out quietly.

We are so consistent with our 'sleep routine' that Ella knows when that CD comes on and things quieten down (low voices, lights...) she will get quiet and her body will get heavier as she begins to relax. The one thing that i really got out of teaching was the understanding that children thrive with and need routine - we are creatures of habit and feel safe when we are able to predict and have an understanding of what is going to occur. Because we are quite firm with this sleep routine it means that even if we are at someone elses house and need to put Ella down to sleep she will go down with ease because she understands that it's no different from what happens at home. The good thing about what we do is that if we don't always have the CD with us - the spoken poem is another association she is familiar and comfortable with and she understands that when we say it she is to go off to sleep.

Ella also has a few soft toys in the top of her cot, as some of the other mum's have mentioned, and if she is not tired enough to fall asleep straight away she has the option to have a quiet play first. She will usually play for 10 mins then drift off on her own.
At night we are also starting to put her in a light weight sleeping bag as it's getting hot and she will unwrap herself. I also agree with making cot/bedtime a happy, safe environment so she is never put into her bed when she is naughty or very unwell and is never left to cry for long periods in there.

Not sure if any of this will be helpful - these are just the things that have worked really well for US. I hope that you guys find something perfect for you all very soon. And like the other girls have said - remember that you are doing a great job Linda and Emma must feel very loved that her mummy makes so much effort to ensure she is feeling safe at bedtime.